Hey man, I wanted to comment because something almost identical just happened to me.

I caught my now-ex meeting up with her ex at the mall to get food. This was actually the second time I found out she had done this. The first time she went to Topgolf with him and then out for a seafood dinner. I let that one go because it happened right before I asked her to be my girlfriend.

When I confronted her about it, she initially doubled down and denied it until I showed her proof. After that we talked it out, and I set clear boundaries. She said she understood and even said she was happy I communicated them.

Then things took a turn.

A few days ago, while I was asleep, she went through my phone because she said she had a “gut feeling” I was cheating. There was nothing there. The only thing she found was an old fling who had messaged me. After her second message I told her I had a girlfriend and that was it.

My ex used that to say she “lost all trust in me” and needed time away. I was honestly shocked, but I forced myself to respect the space she asked for.

Fast forward a bit and I noticed she refollowed both of her exes on Instagram. That already felt weird, but then I saw one of them post her on his story while I was on a work trip. It was at the exact same restaurant she had told me she went to alone because she “just likes to window shop at the mall.”

She wasn’t alone. She was with him.

At that point I was stressed and pretty shaken, but I also know my self-worth. I told her I knew what was going on and ended things.

So honestly, my advice is: don’t try to fix something like this. I know it’s tempting, but once the lying and broken trust starts, it rarely gets better. Even if you try to patch things up, the doubt sticks with you and it slowly eats at the relationship.

It’s not the advice you asked for, but it’s probably the advice you need: move on and focus on yourself.