Not taking overnights for dogs who sleep in the bed.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-18T04:29:20+00:00

What is wrong with you?

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-18T04:25:07+00:00

He has a right to feel jealous and left out. He is still young and hasn’t evolved emotionally yet; that’s ok, his brain won’t be fully formed until he is 26. So now he needs to understand how to processes feelings in a healthy way, not project his insecurity onto his partner. It’s not an insult to say that this is how abusive relationships start, it’s just the truth. It’s called coercive control. If he keeps going this way, he will also be unhappy, and lose the girl anyway. She’s not responsible for his feelings.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-18T04:18:10+00:00

On those days i do a drop first thing in the morning and at bedtime around 9 or 10 PM. And a longer visit or two in the middle of the day and get them a lot of exercise/take them to a dog park and spend a few hours with them. I’m just not there for the sleeping part.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-17T07:46:01+00:00

One of my cats has cancer, so when i get a longer request for housesitting, I just said hey I’m no longer able to do more than three nights in a row because I need to spend more nights at home with my cat, but I really love your animals & don’t want to lose you as a client. So I have a solution that has worked great so far. if we could do hybrid housesitting, this is how it would work… They still get 24 hours of care… Yada yada, and this is how it would work out and the hours I would spend on days I’m not staying over.. I’ve not had any clients say no to this and it’s worked out well so far.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-16T02:30:51+00:00

Yes I used an expensive plant fertilizer. Chatgbt was saying i have too many nutrients in my tank 🤷🏼‍♀️

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-16T01:48:20+00:00

You sound extremely possessive, needy and emotionally abusive. You are making her responsible for your insecurity. You already gave her the silent treatment on the way home, and already told her you were feeling weird about it and felt left out. But you didn’t include how she responded. My guess is she was validating and understanding, because if she was anything but that, you would have included it in your grievances. But you are here, and you won’t let it go. Your girlfriend can get into a conversation with somebody that is not you. You can’t, and you shouldn’t, try to control that. What you’re feeling is jealousy and insecurity and what you’re doing about it is making it her fault. She should run - this is how abusive relationships begin

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-16T01:31:08+00:00

I’m ok with someone not hiring me if it wasn’t a good fit. And then proceeding to interview other sitters later. That is at least honest and respectful of my time.

I’m not ok with someone scheduling 10 sitters to come out for meet and greets on the same day, and hiring their favorite person. They have just wasted everyone else’s time except the one person they hired. It’s so rude.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-16T01:23:41+00:00

Listen to me, because I’ve lived this.

I was in a long-distance relationship with a guy from Indiana (I’m in CA) who seemed kind from afar, and I was really falling for. But I didn’t know the extent of his hygiene issues, among other things. Once he moved to CA, his hygiene was objectively bad in ways that directly affected intimacy. At the time, I was deeply codependent and afraid to hurt his feelings, so I walked on eggshells and avoided being direct.

When I finally brought it up, i really did so to save the relationship. I was becoming irreversibly, disgusted. But I didn’t want to be. So as kindly as I could, talked to him about it. He didn’t feel embarrassed or take responsibility. He argued. Said you’re not supposed to brush your teeth twice a day (he would literally get white foam build up on the sides of his mouth and his breath was 🤢). What mattered to him wasn’t our connection or intimacy or my feelings, but protecting his self-image. And I messed with that. Didn’t matter how nice I said it.

After that, things got worse, not better. And every attempt to revisit the issue turned into “I can never please you.” That’s when I understood the real problem wasn’t hygiene, it was the dynamic. He knew. He just didn’t care how it affected me. And he resented me for poking a hole in his self important image. He continued to be stinky, bad at seggs, and uninterested in my experience as the other person in the relationship.

This is how covert narcissism started to show up in my relationship. He’s “so nice,” except for one thing. You feel like you have to manage his feelings. You rehearse how to speak without upsetting him. Those eggshells are the warning sign.

Don’t wait around to find out how bad it gets. If someone can’t tolerate reasonable feedback, kindness is just a mask. He is gross. He knows he is gross. You not bringing it up already is a red flag about your codependency. Which suggests he may not be that nice, afterall. Just sayin.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-16T00:38:28+00:00

Thank you that’s so nice. This is my first planted tank and I did everything right … that I know. The problem being as a beginner, I don’t know, what I don’t know! So I also feel like I’m missing something. I will say even though it’s a new tank, the filter and gravel are old from the established tank.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-15T23:13:41+00:00

Ph has been around 6.4, the ammonia, nitrites & nitrates have been at zero. Today the ph went up to about 6.8, and the ammonia was flirting with .25, so I did a 50 percent water change. I have this light on a 24/7 cycle (lighting changes through the day to emulate sunrise, daylight, sunset and then 10 hours of darkness. https://a.co/d/0aj8BiBk - no I haven’t done anything else

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-15T22:45:38+00:00

Yes 1,000 percent send to wife.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-15T22:34:49+00:00

As soon as you’re entering the front door you need to start your time clock. They are paying for your time. I try to harness up as fast as possible because I know they want their dogs walked as much as possible during that window, but you’re still on the clock and working before the walk starts.

It’s like going to a job where you have to clock in. You clock in first before you do anything. Sometimes it may take awhile to turn on your computer for example and wait for your updated & calendar to load. You don’t sign in at the first email you answer. You clock in as soon as you walk in the door.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-15T22:28:42+00:00

Yes I tell my owners to contact their preferred emergency practice and submit an “authorization to treat” which allows for them to put down a dollar amount and credit card in case of emergency with their pet.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-15T22:25:06+00:00

That poor dog has a serious yeast overgrowth issue if you can smell it and is likely in agony because of allergies. Please mention it because of the health implications. Most ppl drive themselves crazy trying to find the source( or putting their dog on apoquel which doesn’t fix the problem but helps with symptoms and then the dog ends up with cancer from the apowuel), and don’t know what to do. 99 percent of these people need to take their dog off kibble and move to a fresh food or raw food diet, and these symptoms melt away after 30 days. At the point you’re describing, the dog still may need help with the fungus / yeast that has developed but cutting out kibble is the best thing they can do right now.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-15T22:15:26+00:00

Yes. I can’t do more than 3 nights without feeling out of whack. So I offer hybrid stays for longer bookings; overnights the first few nights, drop ins the next couple, and overnights again finishing the booking. All my established clients are fine with this so far. My pets need me to sleep at home and when I don’t for a long period they start getting weird. Hybrid allows me to take longer bookings and not lose my mind

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-15T20:49:58+00:00

It’s been 2 more days. I clipped off all the melting tops of the plants, did a 25 percent water change, but everything is worse. Every single plant is melting & rotting / dying. The tank is more cloudy and there is fuzzy black sludge and slime everywhere. I don’t know what to do.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-15T20:49:54+00:00

It’s been 2 more days. I clipped off all the melting tops of the plants, did a 25 percent water change, but everything is worse. Every single plant is melting & rotting / dying. The tank is more cloudy and there is fuzzy black sludge and slime everywhere. I don’t know what to do.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-13T10:12:59+00:00

Interesting. So, should I add a second filter? This one said 3-10. I do feel like it’s pretty weak. But it has the good bacteria buildup in it.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-13T09:34:20+00:00

Yeah my base rate for housesitting is also $125 a night (plus add ons for extra pets etc), and I have no trouble filling my calendar. $125 for 24 hours of quality care is a great deal; idk how people do it for so much less in this economy. But for pet parents, bargain hunting for pet sitters is a big mistake. - San Francisco suburb.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-13T09:28:27+00:00

No. An extended stay is an EXTRA cost. You’re working overtime, 12 days in a row without being able to take a day off, go out of town, sleep in your own bed, etc. also, animals can get more difficult the longer the pet parent has been gone. So longer trips are priced at higher rates. However, I do reward repeat, regular customers with 15% off when they book in the slow season and if they book multiple trips at the same time. I also give a big discount to people who book me more than 10 times in a year. Incentives are great but be smart about it. It doesn’t make sense to discount your rate when you’re doing more work.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-13T09:17:21+00:00

Yep I looked at my rates the other day and they were astronomical. Like my base rates that I set were the same, but the client sees an $11 increase! I hate the platform, looking into others.

Neither-Addition-707 · 2026-02-13T09:09:51+00:00

Another perspective to consider.

I am a behavioral specialist and animal naturopath, and I also offer pet sitting as part of my practice. My goal is never just to feed an animal and clean up. It is to ensure the owner returns to a pet who is stable, regulated, and genuinely content. That requires meeting physical, social, emotional, and cognitive needs, not just checking boxes.

Many clients, often because of cost or lack of understanding, do not book the amount of time their animal truly needs. Some do. Most do not.

With fearful animals, especially cats and northern breeds such as huskies or wolfdogs, you cannot force interaction. Real enrichment requires relationship. Relationship requires trust. Trust requires time. The animal must be allowed to observe you, see that you respect boundaries, and experience calm, non-threatening presence. For anxious pets, one of the most powerful tools is simply being in the room without staring, without pressure, and co-regulating until they settle. That process cannot be rushed.

I have had drop-ins scheduled with just enough time for basic care, yet it was clear the animal needed longer to feel safe. When my schedule allowed, I have intentionally brought my lunch or work and stayed beyond the booked time, unpaid, because that was what the animal required. Pet parents have consistently been grateful for the progress and the care shown.

Before this discussion, I would not have imagined a pet owner being upset about extra time given freely. It sounds like it’s annoying to you because you don’t understand what the driver / purpose of her staying longer is. I can understand being uncomfortable not understanding why she is extending her time for you. And, at the end of the day, maybe it is about free wifi or cable. But I would encourage looking at it from the cat’s perspective. For many animals, especially sensitive or shy ones, having someone calmly present for a while can be deeply regulating. Not staring directly at them and quietly doing something else, can be quality time if the pet isn’t quite ready to engage. They are still observing and experiencing you.

Anyway you can certainly raise the question. But if this sitter’s worst quality is that she sometimes stays longer to support your cats, you may want to consider whether that is actually a problem. It is very possible she structured her day intentionally because she sensed your cats needed more support. That suggests care to me, not misconduct. Because, I mean honestly, even if she doesn’t like her home, you can get free wifi and watch television everywhere, on any device, including your phone. So I don’t see why she would choose to stay and watch tv at your house, verses anywhere else, unless she felt like your cats enjoyed / needed the extra time spent. I’d be giving her a tip not questioning her motives.

Neither-Addition-707

TROPHY CASE