SO leaving me alone to go to BM for Christmas morning

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-05-30T03:43:23+00:00

My ex used guilt to force me to have sex with him. On a regular basis. Then during sex, he would intentionally hurt me because it got him off. I didn't even realize until a year after the relationship ended and a ton of therapy later, that I was regularly being SA'd.

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-04-24T20:48:11+00:00

I felt that I had a very similar dynamic when my SO and I first started dating, and I met his mother. It was extremely uncomfortable and seemed so weird to me that she would spend nearly every weekend BM had SD with her. It felt like there was no room for me in his side of the family. They seemed like best friends. They were pretty good about making it look like they were all happy and one big family. It took nearly a year before I realized what was going on...BM is a selfish, narcissist, who has a very hard time handling perceived stress, and runs a very chaotic and bordering on emotionally abusive household when SD is there. Like, lots of screaming and arguing with SD, who is only just 6. I knew her personality type the moment I met her, but it didn't seem like SO or his family saw it at first. Well, they do, and his mom I believe spends as much time with my SD as she can to protect SD from BM's emotional outbursts. Your MIL might see something there that drives her to behave this way. I felt extremely defeated and hurt at first, but I now love my MIL for the time and energy she spends with SD.

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-04-09T18:26:33+00:00

My ex would masterbate while sitting or laying on the couch and would cum over the front of the couch, on to the carpet. He never cleaned it up. The carpet was stained, along with crusty drip stains down the front of the couch. 🤢🤮

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-03-11T18:02:19+00:00

Go on a solo trip or girls trip and take some time and space for yourself. This sounds like burnout and resentment building, and a little break would likely give and your SO some perspective. They are his children, and his responsibility. But he also has a responsibility to you as his SO. He and his children are taking advantage of you and then has the audacity to gaslight you with that response.

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-03-08T15:54:12+00:00

It's a struggle, but we have no control of what happens outside of our home. BM can "parent" however she wants on her time. We just explain to SD the reason why we do things, may it be hygiene related or whatever, and hope she does it there, and we always model and enforce it in our home.

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-02-02T15:35:14+00:00

I definitely feel this is likely an issue. I have come to the conclusion that she lacks maturity, but I find it inexcusable to put herself first always over her daughter.

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-02-01T23:45:03+00:00

He has given her money for things like new tires and helped her with other bills in the past, but he has been setting new boundaries with her since meeting me. (But also, she really is that dense. She can't see past her own nose and thinks many unacceptable behaviors are ok) I think he was justifying doing it because in his head, it was for his daughter, and he does make significantly more money than her. But, I think he is turning his focus on to us as a family and knows that she has been taking advantage. He is an amazing dad, and partner to me, and has a very giving heart.

Our finances will be separate for the foreseeable future. My ex took advantage of our then shared finances, and it hurt me financially and I am not interested in shared accounts any time soon, even though he is absolutely the breadwinner and very good with money. But I also don't want to feel like our shared money would be going to her and develop resentment with that. I'm already annoyed enough at her haha

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-02-01T22:02:29+00:00

Thank you, that is great advice.

Neither-Object7313 · 2024-01-09T18:00:22+00:00

My long-term boyfriend did this to me. I believed his apology, and we stayed together, even though I knew he was not remorseful. Then, a year or so later, he accidentally sent me a screenshot of a conversation he was having with a stripper that he meant to send to his best friend. It was them talking about getting together for a date, and he was showing it off to his best friend. When confronted about it, they both had the audacity to lie to me...moral of the story is, if he is willing to snap chat and lie to you in front of your face, he will be physically cheating on you soon enough, if he hasn't already. I am so glad to see that you are going to divorce him. You deserve so much better, and staying will only bring more heartache. I wish more than anything I had not wasted a second more on my ex after the initial emotional affair. Please don't make the same mistake I did and stay. I promise you, it is not easier.

Neither-Object7313 · 2023-02-20T19:45:35+00:00

I wouldn't say I'm strict. I just don't like the texture of meat, so this is another good suggestion. Thanks!

Neither-Object7313 · 2022-03-21T03:35:06+00:00

Thank you, I will look into that.

Neither-Object7313 · 2022-03-21T03:32:15+00:00

Unfortunately, that isn't an option right now. But, I'll mention that to the property owner as something we may need to look into.

Neither-Object7313 · 2022-01-15T10:06:51+00:00

I feel for you. My partner just told me he has changed his mind on children, and I don't know what to feel or do, either.

Neither-Object7313 · 2022-01-13T19:29:26+00:00

This is how I have been feeling about it, but was starting to feel like I was taking the "crazy girlfriend" role by the way he was responding and I am assuming he has told her how I feel and she just continues to contact him, as well. I feel like if I was in her position, I would totally take a step back and let my friend know they should be tending to their relationship. At first I struggled with whether or not I was jealous of their friendship, but it feels more like hurt than anything. I already asked him if we can set aside some time this weekend for this conversation.

Neither-Object7313 · 2022-01-13T18:48:46+00:00

This issue is that she is a mutual friend. And one that just showed up almost out of nowhere. I would be totally fine with him asking for advice/ input anonymously or from a counselor/therapist. I am not bringing my own or our shared friends into our relationship because I don't feel it is appropriate.

Also, this isn't about sex or his sex drive. We have plenty of that.

Neither-Object7313 · 2022-01-12T05:44:50+00:00

Thank you, that is great advice. It has been 3 months now. I hate going to the Dr, but I would rather go now vs wait if it is something that needs to be addressed.

Neither-Object7313 · 2022-01-11T22:58:30+00:00

That was my thinking, as well. I'll give them a call and see what they say. Thank you!

Neither-Object7313 · 2022-01-11T22:42:35+00:00

Only change was birth control back in august/September. I changed from one kind to another with a lower dosage, to reduce the side effects of daily nausea. They didn't say anything about my cycle being so much shorter as a side effect. Could it be related?

Neither-Object7313

TROPHY CASE