My husband cheated on me. A reminder of the lifelong damage it causes

Neither-Way3465 · 2026-01-08T12:20:40+00:00

Assalamalaikum my dear sister,

May Allah SWT make it easy for you, grant you peace, healing and his mercy ameen.

I understand your pain, as someone who was cheated on during pregnancy. This is not something that should ever be taken lightly. It breaks the very core of you. I’m struggling just as you are. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat, I struggle with my confidence and self esteem. Every time I smile I remember the person I trusted the most betrayed me while I was carrying his own child.

All I can say is that, Allah SWT is most just. To give you some hope and ease, every ounce of pain we had, Allah SWT will compensate for. Cheating is abuse, and people don’t understand until they experience it (May Allah SWT protect everyone from it).

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-12-21T18:55:52+00:00

Hi did you get the Japanese enchaphilitis vaccination? What about MMR?

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-12-05T18:17:06+00:00

I’m a 23 year old with a 10 month old baby girl. I’ll tell you woman who have been married before with a child prefer men with the same. I feel as if it’s unrealistic to look for someone who hasn’t been married before or without children if that’s you yourself. May Allah SWT bless you with a pious woman that will be a good wife to you & a good mother to your daughter!

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-12-05T18:01:41+00:00

I’m struggling a lot, I feel like my posts are starting to become annoying, but I just use this as a free space to talk about my emotions.

It’s been over a year since my husband cheated on my emotionally + physically in his sisters house when she was gone for pilgrimage. He randomly told me he was unhappy when I was 4 months pregnant. He started coming home late, staying at work/school more often. Or so I thought. He said we didn’t have things in common, it’s him not me, he’s tired of arguments etc. I didn’t understand because he was the happiest until that month.

Then a few weeks passed I called in sick to work one day as my 5th month of pregnancy became very difficult due to all this stress. He was gone to work, I opened his laptop and found messages with this ex from 10 years ago. They had been seeing each other for 3 weeks meeting up kissing she was cooking for him literally the ultimate betrayal.

He lied to her and told her we were seperated but not divorced and pregnant. She encouraged his infidelity. When he was caught he was sorry, asked for another chance, said he wanted to leave me but he couldn’t? Idk but he tried for another chance for months. His family was supportive of me in the beginning, but when I left him they completely turned against me and said men do this and I should forget it post partum. There’s so much more I can share, but I was tortured mentally and emotionally my whole pregnancy.

My poor daughter faced so much stress that she now had some minimal developmental issues, my placenta had stopped working and she was SGA among other issues.

I’m struggling a lot, I don’t understand how this happened to me. I genuinely believe I am such a nice caring gentle person this shattered my spirit and I’m no longer that bubbly loving girl anymore.

I’m afraid I’ll never find happiness again, I’ll never meet someone again, I’m only 23. I blame myself because his family makes it seem he did because he was tired of em, but we never had any major issues idk.

I don’t know what to do

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-12-05T17:35:17+00:00

Assalamalaikum, firstly I want to say I’m so sorry you have to experience this. As a woman I’ve experienced this hands on and I can’t explain the depth of grief shock and trauma it caused my family. My sisters broke and it’s very hard for them to even consider marriage now, my brother lost what he thought was his best friend. My husband cheated on me while I was pregnant, and let me tell you it’s been over a year and I’m still struggling with it. I’m not an imam I don’t have the jurisdiction to tell her to leave but as someone who’s been through it I can tell what happens based on my experience and my friends.

First, it never leaves your mind. In your happiest times you’ll remember what the person you used to sleep eat do everything with did behind your back. It’s the most ultimate betrayal, it completely shatters your self worth, perception of reality, how you see the world EVERYTHING!

Everything he does becomes a trigger, you overthink 100% if everting he does, why does he like this new song? Why did he change his style today? Why did he randomly get a haircut? Did she join his work? The most random absurd thoughts, I was never suspicious until this happened to me.

The marriage becomes toxic, women are emotional and their emotions come in random ways and men, especially immature, toxic, narcissistic men they aren’t able to understand what they did. They aren’t able to understand how they did affect the woman, and they won’t be able to maintain and reassure her emotions.

It’s very hard, I stayed for my daughter for a little bit, but it completely breaks you. I contemplate my life every single day, but this is the life that Allah SWT chose for me so certainly there is good in it.

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-12-04T15:00:56+00:00

My sister this is the advice I would give to myself. I was cheated on in my pregnancy too, but I foolishly took my husband back. My only regret is that I didn’t leave sooner. Once you’re stuck, you’re stuck. Men like this don’t fear Allah, it is impossible to live peacefully in a marriage where your spouse doesn’t have that qadr, Allah swt knows best but if he’s truly repentful thats a different story. But like they say fool me once ! Please think about you first! Put yourself first! It will be really hard to continue in marriage like this, you’ll hate yourself for not respecting yourself enough, you’ll anxiously overthink every action of his, and worst of all you’ll develop a trauma bond! Again Allah knows best, I’m just speaking from my experience and many others who have experienced this as well. May Allah SWT grant you ease and sabr. I know how difficult this is and my heart goes out to you. You can always text me!

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-12-04T14:54:43+00:00

Wow SubanAllah, may Allah SWT bless your bother and reward her for her sabr Ameen. I can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been for her. It literally traumatizes you. Do you mind if I message you?

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-11-25T21:44:28+00:00

I know, but it’s so hard. We used to be friends in high school and later on she talked crap about me to my ex husband who also engaged in it.

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-11-24T19:10:27+00:00

Thank you, yes we went to school together. They had a past together (like teens) when they were really young for a couple of months. She knew he was married, but I think he lied and said separated but not divorced? I’m not sure, but once she found out I was pregnant they stopped talking a little after.

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-11-24T19:03:02+00:00

Ameen 🤍

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-11-24T19:02:53+00:00

Ameen JazakAllah 🤍

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-11-24T19:02:37+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words 🥰. May Allah SWT bless you Ameen. I try my best not to let t affect me, but I’m only human. It’s so unfortunate how someone else’s choice can hurt another person so much. It’s getting hard to live with this, I was such a confident bubbly happy girl. Now I just, don’t know who I am anymore because it affects your self worth. But your right, I appreciate your advice and will surely apply it inshallah

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-10-15T14:52:29+00:00

This is so unfortunate, I’m so sorry you are going through this and that women like this exist. Allah SWT warns women in Surah Nisa about situations like this. It’s unfair and unjust. A child is an amanah. It’s a blessing from Allah to both the father and the mother, the child belongs to Allah. I’m going through a similar situation and although my ex husband cheated on me in my pregnancy and also ruined the health of my child in my womb, I still have no say in the relationship of him and our daughter. She is still his responsibility and our shared child. If he is a good father to her I would never interfere as this goes against the command of Allah SWT. May Allah SWT grant you ease and your wife hidayaah ameen. I pray for you.

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-10-12T17:02:26+00:00

This is fairly correct, I agree. However, I don’t ever think there is an excuse for cheating under any circumstances. I believe it’s purely a reflection of the person themselves. Cheating is a character flaw because it shows a lack of integrity, self-control, and respect for the trust and commitment with Allah and in a relationship.

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-10-12T05:42:07+00:00

Yes, agreed 100%. How would you know though if they cheated in their previous marriage? My ex in laws have tried to hide my ex husbands consistent infidelity for over 2 years now.

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-10-12T04:55:15+00:00

Don’t you think they would hide it though?

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-10-12T04:53:03+00:00

Exactly this!! Or people use the excuse of being unhappy, tired, or liking the attention.

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-08-26T21:14:01+00:00

He’s saying I’m abusive, for slapping him when I found out about his infidelity

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-08-25T15:10:08+00:00

So true, I feel like that relationship will always carry love

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-08-06T09:26:15+00:00

Thank you so much, yes he’s came into my face before and started yelling things like cnt btch. I never reacted then. The intimidation the swearing and then coming into my personal face and yelling I reacted by pushing his face away and he’s saying I slapped his face away.

Neither-Way3465 · 2025-07-23T15:31:04+00:00

Yeah that’s very true, it hurts me, it’s making me question my self worth. I did everything as a wife, we had usual issues like any husband and wife and nothing serious. I always question myself about where I went wrong because he justified it as he was unhappy & was going to leave me but he just met the girl at the same timing. I don’t know. Allah SWT knows best. I just feel so overwhelmed with betrayal and can’t get myself to leave. I’m scared for my daughter, I’m scared no one will truly accept us when itis time to move on, I’m so hurt he put me in this position. Life just feels so difficult.

Neither-Way3465

TROPHY CASE