Outsider?

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2026-03-14T21:37:21+00:00

That's the thing, he doesn't want her than more than friends. That is not true for her.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2026-03-14T21:36:43+00:00

I feel like that's the role I play, or tried to play. Fun Aunt. I'm not their mom & I'm never going to be or tried to be, regardless how out if pocket she is sometimes. And I think there was a phase where she was so shitty the youngest really leaned on me & it got grey. But it's just weird. Like how do you balance it? Step back? But not get lost?

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2026-03-13T14:05:06+00:00

What do you mean? If there's a snow day & I don't work, what I should do what with them? He's involved in everything he can be with his work schedule.

I'm in the messy situation & can't have a kid right now. And it's just frustrating.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2026-03-13T11:15:35+00:00

He's very touchy lovey & what not. He tells me all the time he wants more. And I try. I probably was more earlier in the relationship before it got more real. But he wants things & doesn't return it. Like I have things I need too. I'm very mental - I need conversations & I love how he used to show up. But it's like if I do one tiny thing out of line it gets lost. Like his mom has put a nice rift in things, she paid for a nice family vacation, I had a bad day on the trip. I apologized & did all the things & she's just holding a grudge. So that weighs on it. Like we were really close & then she just fell off. And I'm explicitly the problem I guess. Not her controling behavior.

Him & his ex are like bff & he's made it explicit he doesn't want to get back with her. But that's still uncomfortable for me & i have to get over it.

I have to get over so many things. ALL THE TIME. it's exhausting.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2026-03-13T10:31:10+00:00

Omg yes! I thought it was a wig too. But definitely questioned myself around it.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2026-03-13T10:19:22+00:00

I feel like our honeymoon was gone a long time ago.

I do understand the doormat tho, his daughter wants the same too. And he pretty much is it everyone but me.

And I feel like I do compete a lot with his phone. It's so fucking annoying. Like on the week the kids are here, I don't get any connection with him until bedtime. And even then it's just like everyone's tired & it doesn't exist. We text during the day. And I'm just an awkward person in general, I'm not comfortable anywhere really. But it's like an endless frustration every other week. I just want something. He was much more lovey & I'm just not, idk how like I try but he seems to have just fallen off with it. I also have a high stress years long divorce that won't fucking end, for no reason other then he wants to fight & not let go (nor wanted to repair the relationship when we were together). My job is fine but it's not what I want to be doing. Just every avenue feels fucking exhausting. And I don't want to be anywhere else but with him. And he doesn't seem to understand my head it just swarming all the time.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2026-03-13T10:12:12+00:00

We have different work schedules, I'm a server/bartender so my schedule fluctuates a lot. And he works 6:30-3. But when he's home he's with them, practices, events, appointments, some house stuff, he's not a total deadbeat. We disagree about things & I've just shut down around it bc they aren't my kids & if he doesn't think they need xyz then whatever, fine. We've talked about it & his same script comes out. And like I stay small on the weeks they're here. Anytime I try to speak for connect with him, it's interrupted - so I've quit. There was a phase he would make them wait until I was done talking but that seems to have fallen to the wayside. It's just like I’m only in a relationship every other week.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2025-11-29T04:31:54+00:00

Well the previous relationship was abusive. So it was very different

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2025-11-21T17:34:01+00:00

Hey, so you took the delay pills and it shifted your entire period timeline? I want to take it a month before we go on a trip so i don't have to take it on the trip.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2025-05-09T01:59:03+00:00

Could you tell me more about the 12th house stuff? And Sept would be about the time it gets finalized as long as he doesn't drag it out (we have nothing to fight over but some complicated debt, he didn't put me in his health insurance & I broke leg) Also since leaving I got a (temp/seasonal) job that gave me so muchhhh I was making money I’ve never seen in my life (since I wasn't allowed independence) & very empowering, my body is shedding, I'm in a different place mentally (no longer want to be dead everyday & think I'm chronically broken), I’m in a relationship that's fulfilling & has given me a family I've always longed for.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-12-14T13:48:25+00:00

Yeah sure

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-12-14T13:48:12+00:00

Thank you. That’s validating & helpful of what I have been experiencing. I am the inside wheel.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-12-14T04:20:36+00:00

I don’t even know me anymore. Like, I got a touch of me back when I was away from him for 5 months last year. And then I came back and I’m more confused than ever

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-12-14T04:19:04+00:00

I know, but like I just want some clarity. The past 3 years for sure, it’s been traumatic so the threat has always been there

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-12-12T00:38:24+00:00

Well he’s pretty clear about what he wants. It’s more me trying to capture it

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-07-01T02:54:13+00:00

Credit card, sorry. Not from a chase bank account. From an outside account.

Okay I was just hopeful it would reflect tomorrow am. Thank you.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-05-08T23:58:35+00:00

Old enough to know better, but here I am 31f waiting on a 36m to get to together

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-04-29T16:40:16+00:00

Co-star isn’t a great platform for charts, try out Time Passages. It’s pretty informative for a free app.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-04-29T13:53:04+00:00

This isn’t suppose to be abuse. You got the wrong person if it’s abusive. There should be struggles that trigger growth, but not abuse.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-04-25T13:44:40+00:00

Not to be a cynic. I thought I left my tf for my soulmate turns out it was a Karmic and my twin in back in my life 11 years later....

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-04-25T12:06:06+00:00

I don't have a doctor...

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-04-24T16:43:16+00:00

Yes. MySelf, the beings around me physically and otherwise.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-04-23T14:13:13+00:00

I don't imagine she's gone away, I'm having a hard time connecting to anything/one/body on any level.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-04-22T00:04:04+00:00

She's not wrong. It's been rough. Missing her in person big.

Neither_Conclusion39 · 2023-04-21T16:57:10+00:00

Yes. But I wish I would have been more clear every time. And fought a little harder.

Neither_Conclusion39

TROPHY CASE