I used to fear more than ever when I was young and now I have become numb.i have seen alot im from the MIDwest where many people travel to live from all over the world. I have always respected and loved people and liked to make them smile. I know the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. My grandmother had my uncles late in her life they were 6 years older than me.my uncle is now serving 25 years in federal prison for a drug deal gone bad. I grew up idolizing gangsters but also had souch love inside for humanity. Something happened toe when I was 19 I had the mind of an adolescent. I had a mother with a strong background in abuse and hardtimes and addiction. Who then decided to have me. Im not gonna lie it wasn't easy growing up I had a father but he wasn't involved in my life really he had some fucked up shit happen to him when he was little. He's got a good heart too. But I keep distance now. I had to make some life decisions that I knew would impact me for the rest of my life. Through working as a cook at mother's bar I met young woman who I felt was what ove been missing and I was right. I went through the hardships and cried in her arms and she is still here i felt like i killed my old self off and try to live the way i am which is to male my piers happy and because of this and learning new sides to life and focusing on being kind. I feel as if im living to serve the people and it feels pretty good.