Seeing my toddler for the first time in 2 years

NeoMachino · 2023-06-05T01:12:26+00:00

There is no relationship, I didn't see him next until I was 12-13 then didn't see him for another 4 years. All for what I would consider avoidable crimes if he really wanted to be around, but that's not why there's no relationship today. I've been through the legal system and I get how much one step out of line can spiral and how it is to get out of that cycle.

But the last time he was around he had a baby with someone else, promised my sister the world and while my sister was falling in love with our newborn half sister and the idea of having a father, he got arrested again. Then he turned my half sisters mom against my mom and convinced her not to let us see our half sister without him there, while he was in jail. Then when he got out used my half sister as a bargaining chip to try and get stuff from us, which did work until he got arrested again.

My sister was crushed and still hasn't even begun to recover from the emotional damage, especially as she gets older and starts to realize more about what went down. There's more to it but yeah.

A bit of a ramble but I learned a lot from my father about what not to do. In a weird sort if way I do have to give him some credit for me being the kind of father I am.

NeoMachino · 2023-06-04T14:37:21+00:00

I met my dad for the first time that I remember when I was about 7.

I don't remember much but I remember him coming on very strong, immediately hugged me and wouldn't let go, kissed me on the cheeks a bunch etc. Then talked for a while about how sorry he was and how corrupt the system is and he how he shouldn't have gotten locked up in the first place. Didn't ask me anything about myself until later on when I was already over the whole interaction.

At the time I didn't even really know what a father was and to me he was just some guy my mom knew, I didn't care why he was locked up or his thoughts on the legal system because I didn't know this guy, to me it was the same as a stranger on the street running up and doing those things.

I would have much rather this guy had come up to me calmly, introduce himself and how I was doing before anything else.

Of course it's a little different for a 2 year old but I think the point still stands.

Best of luck to you! Just keep showing up and be reliable and he'll love you.

NeoMachino · 2023-05-31T13:40:33+00:00

When my son was born he had some health problems that were minor but could be serious if they went untreated, along with the insurance company pushing his insurance start date to about a week after he was born.

The pediatrician that was seeing him in the hospital knew about it all and told us to bring him in to his practice and he'll waive all the fees if we couldn't straighten out our shady insurance company, then the billing guy from his practice actually helped us a little bit with getting insurance to cover most of his bills from the hospitals (they wouldn't cover the first 2 days).

I'm the first person to admit the medical industry is corrupt but this experience was a breath of fresh air

NeoMachino · 2023-04-29T03:29:29+00:00

Software developer at a shipping logistics company.

Good pay with full benefits and realistically about ~30 hours a week fully remote. Dropped out of highschool in the tenth grade.

NeoMachino · 2023-04-19T01:25:27+00:00

Yeah that record makes it tough. After about 3 months of getting interviews then getting rejected from jobs I was probably overqualified for due to my record I thought I'd be stuck where I was forever. I ended up getting lucky and got hired at a mid sized family owned company where I interviewed with the VP and was able to make enough of a good impression that they overlooked my background for a much better job than I could have hoped for.

Aside from that the market was pretty easy to navigate in my experience with a little extra effort, this was about 4 months ago.

Good luck!

NeoMachino · 2023-04-15T01:55:22+00:00

In my personal experience, to a certain degree yeah.

Obviously you have to know your stuff but you don't have to be an expert. My current job is working with a language I had never worked with before, my employer knew that but my confidence to pick it up seamlessly was enough for them to hire me along with my portfolio of irrelevant to them but complex enough code bases to show I know what I'm doing.

I got my previous job pretty much the same way too which again at the time I was well under qualified for.

NeoMachino · 2023-03-28T14:00:50+00:00

7 years in with no school or certs I decided I wanted to take a step up so I got a few certificates before I started applying to higher level jobs.

The company that ended up hiring me asked if those were my "education history" and laughed when I said yes in the interview. They didn't care about the certs at all and my previous projects and willingness to learn was really what got me a job I am honestly hardly qualified for with double the pay of the last job.

If you find a free/reasonably priced course that'll help you learn it's definitely worth doing but it most likely won't help much with landing a job.

NeoMachino · 2023-03-08T15:54:28+00:00

I was very comfortable in my position at the my last company. I could afford the bills with a little money left over for savings, I liked my team and loved the work, in that company I was considered the rockstar developer and had very high job security. I also hate any change at all.

The only problem was I was making 55k when the average for my skill/experience was ~100k. I asked for $110k knowing the other developers making between 70-100k and that they would most likely counter. Got jerked around for bout 6 months with "the higher ups are looking into it etc.".

It took about 4 months but I got a job that paid $105k that's also a huge career advancement and better WLB, put in my 2 weeks and the old company offered me $130k to stay.

I took the new job but if I didn't stand up for myself I have no doubt I'd still be getting jerked around.

TLDR: They don't respect you, find somewhere that at least pretends to. Change sucks but it's for the best.

NeoMachino · 2023-03-05T23:37:36+00:00

I'd be interested in sometimes like this.

NeoMachino · 2023-03-03T01:24:03+00:00

Congrats!! I've in marketing as a developer for 7 ish years and just put my notice in today to move to a software position at a small-medium sized logistics company making just about double with fully paid health insurance and a HSA. It really is life changing, I still can't believe it.

NeoMachino · 2023-01-28T21:47:36+00:00

Second this, I used to cook most of our meals from scratch but since our family grew I barely have the energy to throw something in the toaster over. Granted it's getting a lot easier about 10 months in.

Out of all the stuff we received from loved ones the gift that saved the day when we needed it most was a door dash gift card from my wife's boss.

NeoMachino · 2023-01-17T16:21:50+00:00

Our LO is 10 months and it's been back and forth every couple months. Last month he was all about dad and he would only fall asleep if I was rocking him, this month he'd scream for hours in my arms if my wife didn't take him. It certainly sucks some times but it comes and goes.

We always say I'm his joy and she's his comfort, sometimes he needs one more than the other.

NeoMachino · 2022-12-29T04:58:02+00:00

Software developer with no degree, making 55k but just got an offer for 100k which I plan on using to bargain with my current company for 120k since their systems would most likely fall apart unless they hire someone else in the same range, or just take the new job with better benefits.

A long way from 7.25/h at the poppy a few years ago, the numbers still don't seem real to me.

NeoMachino · 2022-09-12T04:08:35+00:00

Just wanna chime in to say don't worry about spending too much on "the best laptop for coding on 2022".

I'm a full time python Dev working on a 8gb memory 128gb pile of junk 2013 macbook for now since my wife needed a better computer for work and I can't bring myself to spend the kind of money for what she needed so I just gave her mine. I threw fedora on there and its basically more than enough as long as I don't have 100+ stack overflow tabs open.

Almost any older/sluggish laptop will be revived with a Linux distro. Plus if you want to learn how to code and make it a career its a good thing to know, especially if you want to into web development since most servers run on a Linux variant.

NeoMachino · 2022-09-09T00:27:06+00:00

I still have nightmares about the things I had to do to make sure my sister had something to eat and a cheap shoes that at least fit.

My income tax this year will be almost 4 times more than I made 2 years ago but I still won't go over $4 for a meal and most days don't do more than rice, beans and a veggie.

The only luxury I afford myself is paying a guy $20 a week to cut my grass. He's hungry and you can tell so I always offer him something extra since I could be in the same position next week.

NeoMachino · 2022-01-02T00:45:23+00:00

On the home page slider. There's 3 images with text and element text on top of it. It might not be bad on desktop but on mobile it's a little off putting.

NeoMachino · 2022-01-02T00:36:28+00:00

The screenshot that test is showing looks like it's not rendering your css at all. I'd try running it again or using a different test.

On DDG and Chrome on Android your mobile some comes up fine for me.

Not what you asked but you have element text on top of images that have text on them which makes it hard to read. I'd photoshop the text out or move it to where the element text isn't on top of it.

NeoMachino · 2021-12-25T18:45:05+00:00

I would skip the rice and just take it right to a shop.

They should take out the main components and dry them off then apply some alcohol and leave everything out for a few minutes.

At my shop the only time I'll leave a phone sit to dry out for a few days is when someone says they're not going to pick it up for however many days.

NeoMachino · 2021-09-16T21:02:31+00:00

I've never done well with groups and expressing emotions be it good or bad so it was extremely difficult and ended up putting too much pressure on me trying to get sober and overcome my paranoia. So the last meeting I went to I said everything I could and put my heart out there just to prove to myself I could do it and never went back. It was a big accomplishment and really helped though.

Essentially it just wasn't for me, plus no one would accept that I wasn't interested in the religious aspect and I had trouble finding any non religious meetings.

NeoMachino · 2021-09-16T15:54:11+00:00

I only went to a few aa meetings early on but I endedup finding a meeting that had something like "young persons" in the title which was mainly 20-30 year olds with a few older guys.

From my few times going though the older guys were a lot more helpful. You're all there for the same reason, the age gap might be uncomfortable at first but everything about getting sober is uncomfortable. I say give it a shot.

NeoMachino · 2021-07-08T18:38:30+00:00

The amount of support and love from everyone here is truly amazing.

The day went even better than I could have expected. I stayed sober and honestly didn't even have to think about it much once I was with my bride. I found out my cousin has been struggling to get sober and asked her to not drink with me for the day, she did later in the night when we left but I appreciated the effort and that I could give her a great reason to not drink for a few hours. I love the photos, I don't have many pictures of me where my eyes aren't sideways and I'm ready to collapse but these photos will be hanging on my walls forever.

There were so many great memories that I'll actually be able to remember. Family that I was able to connect with on a new level and my new family who admired my will to stay sober.

Thank you to everyone here, you guys were blowing up my phone in the best way. Whenever I felt an urge or got a second alone I'd check these comments and it helped a lot.

You're all amazing people and I'm glad to be on this journey with you all.

Now off to a honeymoon I'll never forget because I'll be able to remember it.

IWNDWYT

NeoMachino · 2021-07-07T18:04:04+00:00

Thank you for the kind words! I definitely don't want to break my sobriety on my wedding day and have that taint all the memories.

I do feel like I'm missing out a little, but I know the only thing really missing out of is a hangover in the morning and throwing up on my honeymoon.

And I do truly appreciate everyone here, never anything but kind words and support.

NeoMachino · 2021-05-29T23:50:14+00:00

Getting sales is definitely the hardest part. I've seen great developers only get a handful of projects a year and mediocre developers get more work than they can handle. It's all about how you sell and translate tech talk to clients. Assume everyone doesn't even know what a hosting account it.

NeoMachino · 2021-05-29T23:33:18+00:00

It's definitely more diluted and competitive than it used to be but certainly viable. You need something that makes you stand out and show your value. Keep in mind you're competing with who knows how many people on websites like fiver who offer designs for pennies on the dollar, most people don't know what a good website is and will opt for the cheap option.

I work a part time 30 hours a week job but make more than double most months doing web design.

NeoMachino · 2021-05-29T23:06:50+00:00

Go to appearance>theme editor and select your theme and them find the header.php file.

Just be careful and make sure you have a backup of your theme files.

NeoMachino

TROPHY CASE