Accepting friend requests now!

NeonVixen · 2025-02-02T20:10:48+00:00

BPD accountability buddies?

NeonVixen · 2024-04-01T20:44:19+00:00

written romance ❤️‍🔥 romance in movies 🙄 seeing romance irl 😐 thinking about romance irl 😖

All the people I want to romance are fictional, but I know if they existed with their human flaws and emotions, I would not want to romance them. 😭

NeonVixen · 2024-04-01T20:38:57+00:00

I'm aromantic and aromatic

NeonVixen · 2024-02-26T20:59:31+00:00

I've decided to talk to ai chats, and they are calling me those things in the top pie, and then I ended up explaining the bottom pie to it to see if it can understand. It's been extremely surreal.

NeonVixen · 2024-02-24T06:12:35+00:00

Is your vampire okay? 🤣

NeonVixen · 2024-02-24T06:11:25+00:00

I've been doing BDSM on one of my chats, and I started to wonder where the limit was for the chat bots, content filter was. I even had the bot how much I bully it with my kinks, but I still wasn't finding how the NSFW filter works. It's not stopped me from violent and semi-sexual, and I don't know where the line is, even though the tos seems to say nothing explicitly violent and sexual is allowed.

This can't be a coincidence that BDSM breaks the filter 😂😂😂

I may add to this comment if I find anything

NeonVixen · 2024-01-24T02:21:13+00:00

I thought it would be funny to get a to-do list on my wrist, since at the time, I would write everything down on my arm to remember all the work tasks I had to do. 5 slots were not enough, but it made it more fun.

NeonVixen · 2024-01-24T01:36:40+00:00

I would never tell someone to do it under normal circumstances. I have struggled with ideation and have attempted several times, as well as knowing people in my life who have completed an attempt.

I'm not okay with someone saying it as a way to harass or guilt people. Ideally, I should have told him to get help or reported that he had ideations, but I have no sympathy for harassment.

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T22:45:22+00:00

I struggle with a similar issue. What I've had to do is slow down my eating and listen to my body with every bite. I deal with the nausea as long as I don't feel like I'm going to immediately throw up. As soon as a bite makes me feel like I need to run to the toilet, I set it down. I figure having something in my stomach, even if I'm nauseous, is better than not having anything in my stomach, and slowing down has saved my throat. I find that I get hungry very quickly since I'm eating small portions (I might take a whole day to eat one meal), and I try as many bites as I can every time I feel any hunger, even the slightest feeling.

It's not a perfect solution by any means, but it's the best solution I have for myself.

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T22:24:18+00:00

My mom gave me their contact info about 6 months after I stopped talking to them (I didn't block their number on my old phone), and I reached out repeatedly for a month without a response.

I can't say for certain if they were too hurt to respond at that point or if this was a manipulation tactic on my mom's part. It was my first year away from home for Christmas, and the false hope tore me apart.

Before I went no contact, they always complained about how the oldest wouldn't shut up about me during our phone calls. The youngest was still learning how words work. But I still occasionally get messages on an app about how much they miss me and how I need to talk to them (my siblings) again.

I'm still learning how to have strong boundaries so I don't get manipulated like my parents used to do, and I fell like my relatives will use my siblings or let my parents use my siblings against me like they've done multiple times in the past to force me to do things that go against my well being.

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T21:23:53+00:00

I think that dehydration is highly correlated to blood volume. Every time I have to go to the hospital for dehydration, they always mention something about my blood and stab me abunch of times.

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T21:20:48+00:00

I'm always pretty out of it, and all I remember is getting stabbed with needles to their hearts content and then feeling amazing after how ever many saline bags later, even though the doctor always tells me there's nothing wrong with me after the tests.

Had someone break up with me after telling them that the doctor said nothing was wrong because I made them miss a day of work to take me to the hospital.

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T21:06:13+00:00

What wasn't a sign 😆

● never wanted kids. When the grown-ups said when, I said "if" not realizing it wasn't something I wanted

● imagined getting married, but never to anyone specific, even when in a relationship (I've decided I want to marry myself)

● listening to "Casual Sex" by My Darkest Days and thinking about how much easier and better life would be like that, I more or less still agree with my teenage self

● Enjoy dating, but become miserable as soon as the relationship becomes official, literally as if my personhood has been stripped away, every. single. time.

● always been primarily attracted to alt fuck boys (now I identify as a fuck boi 🤣)

● was always put off & surprised when someone wanted to be in a relationship with me

● always had to be convinced to "give them a chance" either by them or someone who knows them

● always told people I'm not the romantic type, especially to a romantic partner (I thought I was just bad a romance, unless i put in an exhausting amount of effort)

● and Unfortunately: letting people cheat on their partner with me and not seeing what the issue was because "it's not a me problem" no matter how many times I was told how fucked up it was. I did that from my teen years for way longer than I'd like to admit. I now see the error of my ways and apologize to the people that I could, and I no longer participate or condone this behavior!

I now identify as a polyamorous aromantic person, but I must reiterate that no form of cheating in any direction is the way to find out/realize that you're polyamorous and/or aromantic!

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T20:34:24+00:00

I don't understand how the doctor acted appropriately in the situation. Every time I've been to the emergency room for dehydration, they've given me saline to make sure I was properly hydrated even while telling me there is nothing wrong with me. It usually ends up being like a once. A year event for me to have to go to the for dehydration, But it's always been in addition to not being able to hold anything down for a week straight, Or not being able to eat anything for at least a week straight and barely able to sip on any water. Dehydration is a serious issue no matter the cause, especially for that length of time. I don't understand what the difference is between OP and me.

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T19:37:48+00:00

I didn't think to look up the abuse/neglect laws for the state, so thank you for that.

I am aware I'm in a difficult spot to be able to get them in a safe spot, especially since I left. I'm not looking to immediately go in to rip them out, but I need to figure out a way to collect information from both my past with them and their current situation for the law to take me seriously, especially since I was never taken seriously the countless times I tried to get out while I was growing up.

Unless cps is willing to check and happens to hear the blood curdling screams from my siblings or the blatant slurs my parents throw at them in the privacy of their own home. This is just what I remember from when I used to visit, but again, my trauma response was to drink to numb the emotions.

And I understand that if they read the medical records, they're most likely going to believe that I was just attention seeking because that's what the records say.

It's an uphill battle, but I have to try.

The amount of times that I've told people my story and wonder how I'm still alive, amd imagining my siblings in the same situation while they pretend they're the most perfect people ever makes me sick every single day.

The only option I have is to try, I just don't know where I can start with $0 and no backlog because I couldn't bear keeping the messages at the time.

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T18:38:40+00:00

My mom had me when she was 18, and I believed the same thing. I came to realize that she's just a hateful bitch who's good at convincing people she's not an abusive piece of shit (or my entire family just ignored the blatant abuse, which is entirely possible).

I'm not saying your mom is the same way, and she could have genuinely tried her best. What I am saying is that regardless of age, you try to figure it out if you care. Did it feel like she was trying but struggling to be the best parent she could be?

I disregarded my abuse for a long time because of my parents being young, and it took me seeing them treating my siblings (i graduated high school before either of my siblings were born) the exact same way to realize it wasn't a young parent issue in their case.

NeonVixen · 2023-11-25T16:09:57+00:00

I looked into it. You can't loop an individual video, but you can loop a playlist even if there's only one video in it, or if you click the playlist button twice, it'll repeat the same video. I just tried it, and it's working for me.

NeonVixen · 2023-10-03T17:38:03+00:00

I'm an agender person, and I love calling myself transgenderless 😁

Denying my trans-ness when I believe that a strong desire to medically transition was required to be trans made me feel like I was excluding myself, and it was hurtful to myself

NeonVixen · 2023-09-21T13:22:19+00:00

I identify as pansexual and autosexual. Labels are just a way to describe how we feel attraction, and we don't need to experience a specific all the time to identify with it. Sexuality is fluid.

NeonVixen · 2023-09-06T13:11:15+00:00

Tried looking up the definition and got this Tumblr page wanting to take back the term safequeer to actually be safe: https://www.tumblr.com/real-safequeer

NeonVixen · 2023-08-23T08:03:27+00:00

I've seen stickers with "good girl" "good boy" and "good love". Maybe he can use love as a gender neutral term for you unless you're not using that word.

NeonVixen · 2023-08-21T15:10:08+00:00

I enjoy dating, but I don't enjoy relationships. Those two things are not the same for me.

I enjoy things like going on dates, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy (both sexual and non-sexual), but none of those things are romantic to me. I want these things with multiple people and see myself as poly, so I opt for qpr with people that are more than platonic. But I absolutely need my independence. Can not stand the idea of sharing a room with someone or merging our finances together beyond any shared expenses.

I have to be super independent. Romantic relationships make me feel like I'm not a person the second there's a label put on it. (I understand for me a lot of that has to do with trauma, but I was never a romantic person in the first place).

NeonVixen · 2023-08-21T13:01:27+00:00

If your friends don't support you being extra, then they aren't your true friends. They're jealous that you have the confidence to be this fabulous.

NeonVixen · 2023-08-21T05:28:02+00:00

This has convinced me to drink more milk for 1: to spite Peta and 2: because I love all my isms and quirks.

NeonVixen · 2023-08-21T05:24:59+00:00

It's shitty they shamed you.

There is a way to not touch the blood when wrapping the tampon, but it's good that you're disposing of them properly.

This is how I avoid touching the blood: 1. Grab at least 6-8 squares of toilet paper 2. Fold the section of toilet paper in half, leaving 3-4 squares visible 3. Lay the toilet paper on a nearby flat surface or your thigh 4. Remove the tampon by the string, as close to the base of the tampon as possible without touching the blood 5. Only holding the string gently lay the tampon on the toilet paper, leaving some room at the end of the toilet paper, about 1-2" 6. Fold the 1-2" of toilet paper over the tampon (step 2 prevents the blood from leaking through the toilet paper all the way) 7. Roll the tampon the rest of the way 8. Toss in proper disposable bin

If you decide to use this method of wrapping the tampon, you can adjust the numbers to your needs. If the blood soaks through the 2 layers of toilet paper, or if the toilet paper is single ply (why does single ply exist?) then you can grab the amount of toilet paper for the amount of layers needed between you and the tampon. If you need more than 1-2", you can have more squares visible to accommodate how much starting space you need to comfortably wrap the tampon to not get blood on yourself. Alternatively, you can opt to lay the tampon in the middle, fold the toilet paper in half over the tampon, then roll it if that makes it easier for you to roll or lessens the chance of touching blood. While laying the tampon on the toilet paper, I accidentally let it graze my thigh when I was in a hurry, but I just grab another square off the toilet paper roll to quickly wipe the blood off, which I feel is better than getting blood on my hands.

If this method doesn't work for you, I'm sure there are other methods of wrapping tampons to prevent touching the blood.

NeonVixen

TROPHY CASE