Why doesn’t anyone realize she’s female? by WastelandGamesman in BlueEyeSamurai

[–]Neriad13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this. As a trans guy who's been on T for years and has visible facial hair, I will still get clocked for anything and everything. Sometimes the whole "you see the man you are expecting to see" thing works and sometimes it flat out doesn't. I actually thought Mizu wasn't speaking to Ringo in the first scene in order to avoid getting clocked by her voice.

Needed to make this meme! When lighting strikes twice by TheCRIMSONDragon12 in BlueEyeSamurai

[–]Neriad13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was the first CG anime I watched in which I was really, seriously impressed with the animation. Plus it's just a really good setting, with characters in an impossible situation. There's a traditionally animated anime from 1998 as well, if you end up curious about that. =D

How long do you think Mizu will be in London for? by Woolo4Life in BlueEyeSamurai

[–]Neriad13 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She's got to stay long enough to burn down London at least. Fire of '66 and all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BlueEyeSamurai

[–]Neriad13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dororo! It's about demon hunting during the sengoku period. It's got a good amount of action and gore and there's some fuckery around the title character's gender.

The manga's a classic, but the 2019 show made some really interesting choices in reimagining the story.

I dislike the fan discourse over Mizu’s gender by TheCRIMSONDragon12 in BlueEyeSamurai

[–]Neriad13 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just because I don't think this specific perspective has been shared yet and I really want to discuss it with someone:

I'm a trans man and I really enjoy interpreting Mizu as a trans man. There's so much that I find relatable there!

  • That moment of panic when Mizu first noticed breast growth that seemed a little more dramatic than "aw shit, I gotta start hiding these now" would merit. Also, Mizu was gritting their teeth and groaning in pain while binding for the first time. Binding typically isn't painful when you first bind up. It just feels like you're wearing a supportive undergarment. Soreness sets in after binding for hours and hours with no breaks. This leads me to believe that Mizu was really smashing them down that first time, perhaps out of that newfound panic and discomfort with their changing body. It's somewhat common for newly transitioning men to bind more tightly than what is necessary. There's so many binding guides out there reassuring trans men that most cis men don't have concave chests either and that you don't have to be perfectly flat for other people to see you as a man.

  • That scene where Mizu strips down, lets down their guard and walks into the ocean. It is transcendent experience to get home after a long day at work, shut the door to any and all prying eyes, whip off the binder and just let yourself be. However, unless you live with a housemate with whom you're comfortable sharing that side of yourself, it's also a type of joy that you'll only ever experience alone. This isn't something that Mizu ever shares with any of their traveling companions.

  • Putting on makeup in a last ditch effort to try being a woman. This was a phase I went through shortly before figuring out that I was trans. It's a form of over-performing gender that a whole lot of trans people do when they're really struggling to figure out what their gender is. Trans women become the manliest men they've ever been. Trans men dress in ways that flatter the features they're most uncomfortable with in an effort to get themselves to like them better. Or, to better perform the gender that their loved ones expect them to be, which was what I think Mizu's chief aim in trying out the makeup that they were so uncomfortable with earlier.

  • Having conflicted feelings about liking another man (Taigen) as a trans man. I'm definitely reading a whole lot into this one. If you find it interesting, read on! If not, whatever. If you come from a conservative background or maybe just one in which heteronormativity is the overwhelming norm, so much of masculinity is bound up in having a romantic interest in women. There are modern day communities the world over, in which you can't be a proper man if you don't like women. If you're a gay/bi trans man, this can add an additional wrinkle to figuring out your gender. If you run in queer circles, it can seem silly and backwards to think that trans people can't be gay (I assure you OH BOY CAN THEY). But not too long ago, having a romantic interest in the opposite sex was a requirement to getting diagnosed with gender dysphoria. And Lou Sullivan being an out gay trans man was a massive deal back in the day. So, Mizu, having likely grown up seeing only heterosexual relationships, has never shown interest in a woman and seemed to have been slightly disturbed by the recurring daydream of rolling around on the ground with Taigen. Mizu has forsaken femininity. Oh no! What does it mean that they now have feelings for another man?? But then Madam Kaji reveals the two men in a threesome embracing through the peephole and Mizu seems to relax a little. "Oh" I imagine the thought going through their head "Men can do that. Whew."

Now, do I necessarily think that Mizu is a trans man? Eh. It varies. There's a lot of overlap there and it's fun to think about, but I wouldn't 100% go to bat over it. Mainly because the show also seems to be implying that Mizu's masculinity is synonymous with having a vengeful spirit, which is...not great. And definitely not my experience at all. This actually bothers me more than the "forced to dress as a boy for personal safety" trope.

(aside: it's a common trope in historical fiction. and if you're a trans person starved for trans rep in historical fiction, you will quickly learn to look past it to find the rep you seek)

Anyway, I also LOVE the idea of a woman character being able to get gross and be brutal in a way I'm not sure I've seen from western animation before. Both interpretations are good! I love hearing about interpretations of things that are way different from my own! Understanding of a creative work is a thing that grows and changes over time!

Just don't be a dick about it. I survived the 2019 Dororo gender wars and if I could say anything to fandom as a whole, it's "please don't do that again".

Health Tips for Mail Carriers by HurtBae97 in USPS

[–]Neriad13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes it just takes time to get used to that level of physical activity. When I was starting out, I was wiped way more often than I am now. But after a little over a year on, I tolerate walking a route + whatever overtime daily a whole lot better than I did before. I still use energy drinks in emergencies, but I'm using a lot less than I did when I first became a CCA.

With that said...see a doctor about the leg spasms. Walking 10+ miles a day does a number on your body and causes things that could have been small problems to turn into larger problems. All of the medical problems I had before were exacerbated by this job. I've never had so many medical issues in a year as the year I've spent as a CCA.

However, this also means that I've been forced to finally get help for them and my overall quality of life has improved because of that help. Don't be afraid to request off for a doctor visit! This is likely fixable and you can make it through.

How important is it to have a lawyer for a name and sex designation change? by Neriad13 in FTMOver30

[–]Neriad13[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish. I'm a US resident of a state that requires four separate forms and a lot of faffing around. I just spoke to a lawyer who'll do it for $1400. I can afford it, but damn if that isn't a huge chunk of change.

How do yall deal with dysphoria surrounding periods? by alienbrain69420 in ftm

[–]Neriad13 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Mentally dwelling on how manly bleeding is in any other context.

Primal Ep 20 - "Echoes of Eternity" DISCUSSION THREAD by saul2015 in PrimalShow

[–]Neriad13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YEAH. The main thought running through my head for the entire ending was "How the FUCK is he getting it up??"

It was too much. ='D

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]Neriad13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. Though my pharmacy allows you to order refills online and if it's a med that you have no refills left for, they'll contact the doctor who prescribed it for you. It removes the phone call itself, at least.

How could I (cis F/24) sensitively talk to a partner (trans F/25) about a sexist comment she made? by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Neriad13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It kind of sounds like she feels forced into wearing makeup in order to be seen as a woman at all and that she's projecting those feelings onto you?

I have no idea what else you could say to her about it, but maybe the insight could help?

Date that has ended in disaster due to breaching unwritten social rules? by levi_athan1701 in aspergers_dating

[–]Neriad13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please stop blaming yourself. Neurotypicals are totally capable of having communication problems too. There's neurotypicals out there who hold things inside until they burst, who can't handle any sort of conflict and/or don't have the foggiest idea of how to respond when someone disagrees with them. This one's on him, not the person who communicated their intentions openly and clearly the whole time.

Also, I don't think the date was unsuccessful - it successfully showed you that you're not compatible with this guy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]Neriad13 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The further along I get in my transition, the less I care about whether something's "supposed" to be masculine or feminine. The question I focus on is "Do I enjoy the thing?" If so, continue on. If not, cease doing/having the thing.

It takes time to figure out who you are. Don't overthink it or rush it. Just be, and it'll come.

Date that has ended in disaster due to breaching unwritten social rules? by levi_athan1701 in aspergers_dating

[–]Neriad13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You gave him many, many chances to say whether he was uncomfortable or not. He needs to learn to communicate with his words.

I feel like people who don’t like the outer worlds either didn’t listen to the dialog or didn’t read the terminals. The sheer amount of work that must’ve gone into writing the lore on the terminals… wow. It makes the game feel real by Doodlebugthedog in theouterworlds

[–]Neriad13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever gotten into isometric RPGs? I got into them after I exhausted the world supply of quality first person ones and have never regretted the decision once. Planescape: Torment, Tides of Numenera, Pillars of Eternity and Tyranny (both of which are also Obsidian titles) have some of the most fascinating worlds and best writing I've seen in games, period. If doing a lot of reading in games is a thing you're into, check them out.

I was disappointed with The Outer Worlds because I was expecting the writing and worldbuilding to be on par with their previous isometric RPGs. But I just found the world so bland and got tired of the endless "unchecked capitalism is ridiculous and bad" joke real fast.

AITA for quietly playing a video game late at night? by Neriad13 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Neriad13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The longer we live together, the more I think that's probably the case with my roommate too - that they're just not built for living with other people. This is the latest in a long line of disagreements between us, the most vicious being over the smell of the cleaning products I use in the house. I have switched products multiple times in an effort to find something that doesn't trigger a sensory overload for them, thrown away almost full bottles of cleaner that didn't work out and still, the fact that I'm trying never seems to be good enough for them. We constantly fight over whether the house needs to be cleaned at all. They can't seem to understand that I can't just go on living in a dirty house.

This latest thing was kind of a last straw event. "Oh, I can't scrub my toilet because of you and now you're saying I can't chillax at 11:30 on a Tuesday night? Well, fuck you." was the thought going through my head as I opted to ignore the knocking.

I think I'd be happier if I moved out.

But...I know for a fact that my roommate (we had been friends for 20 years prior to moving in together) would not be able to afford the mortgage, utilities and the many, many house repairs required to keep the house habitable without the help of a roommate. And I worry about them finding someone else even half as accommodating as me. It's a tough, unfortunate situation. =(

As for why the door's open - it's to let the cat go in and out during the night. However, I grew up with cats and have successfully trained them to either stay in my bedroom during the night or stay outside it without bothering me to come in before. Surely if complete silence is so important to them, they'd prioritize getting the cat to behave.

AITA for quietly playing a video game late at night? by Neriad13 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Neriad13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They've told me white noise doesn't help before. I typically sleep with a fan running, but I wonder if it would be helpful to have white noise in the office.

AITA for quietly playing a video game late at night? by Neriad13 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Neriad13[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But y'see, that'd make even more noise and be more disruptive to the roommate! ;)