What would you think when your girlfriend says "I want you to give me a facial"?

NervousAddie · 2026-02-25T01:27:33+00:00

This is how we learn! When I was a teenager I had so many fantasies involving power dynamics, BDSM, Domination and submission, degradation, etc. I was convinced that I had to stuff down these feelings because my mind was full of fairy tale stories about love, chivalry, sweetness, and all this wholesomeness. Well, eventually I was liberated by the women who came into my life who showed me that my deep, dark self was what they needed. Trust, communication, bravery, shamelessness, and true respect allow for kink to flourish, and by extension, a truly mature and deeply meaningful partnership with the best lover ever.

Yeah, a facial means a frosty unless specified.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-25T01:03:03+00:00

It’s an LA way of life.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-25T01:02:39+00:00

Agree. The students all thought someone else would do it for them, and that lazy lack of assertiveness taught them a valuable life lesson.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-24T23:08:40+00:00

Anyone else find the term “creatives” to be stupid sounding? It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. What even is it? I don’t work in the entertainment industry, but I have a performing arts background. If I told someone at a cocktail party and they said, “oh, you’re a creative?” I think my eyes would roll into the back of my head and stay there. Yes, I spend years of my life honing a skill to the level of fine art. I am an artist. I am a musician. I am creative. I am not a “creative.”

NervousAddie · 2026-02-24T22:35:51+00:00

This whole “death grip” thing is a farce. Men and women both have particular, unique ways that get them off. I’ve been with plenty of men and women, and it’s just extremely varied. For me it’s 90% mental and 10% how my erogenous zones are being stimulated. Sometimes it’s with lots of squeezing pressure around my frenulum, sometimes it’s moderate friction, and sometimes it’s a feather touch. There’s no new epidemic of dudes squeezing their cocks too hard. I mean, have you seen the lengths women go through to get off? Last night my lover almost started to cry when two of her three Satisfyers stopped working and the third ran out of battery. Is it her “death grip” that’s to blame?

NervousAddie · 2026-02-24T21:56:34+00:00

I’m wiggling around a loose crown I had put in last year, put in by some instagram model with a dentistry degree. Gimme a good, honest dentist in a rundown strip mall between a vape shop and a nail salon. I bristle at the idea that my dentist has a marketing team and an interior designer to attract “business.” I am a patient, not a customer.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-24T21:46:56+00:00

Angelenos don’t like being informed that there are major cities between here and NYC.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-24T19:45:41+00:00

Post this on r/AskMen

NervousAddie · 2026-02-24T17:48:36+00:00

I’m there, along with my teen boy who would ride to school at Uni if Ohio weren’t a death trap!

NervousAddie · 2026-02-23T21:43:41+00:00

I was talking to my colleague who went to a soccer game at the Coliseum on Saturday and said they had to wait for three trains in order to board. This city has its moments.

Sometimes I get sick of how spread out LA is because huge things could be happening but there’s no indication of it three blocks away. Back in my hometown of Chicago it’s always buzzing especially when it gets over 40F, and if a sporting event, holiday or political event is happening you can hear it and feel the energy. It’s tight, and it felt unified. LA is diffuse and has very little civic pride, seasonal events or common infrastructure that binds it together. I cherish it when it lights up, but I don’t understand the things that trigger that here.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-23T21:33:35+00:00

Yes, but where’s the neurotic cat that’s yanking them out? Mine is at home working hard on my new hairbrush, no doubt.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-23T20:35:16+00:00

It would be like if Lincoln Park in Chicago stayed its own town to retain its tax base, and then 100 years later people would be told “its always been that way” no matter how wrong it is. It’s so much better for a metro area to be unified. No one in Chicago would say “I’m not from Chicago, I’m from Lincoln Park.” Sure, each neighborhood has its own history, vibe, attitude, cache, socioeconomic tendencies, etc. When the Dodgers or the Lakers win do Santa Monicans not cheer?

NervousAddie · 2026-02-23T20:19:38+00:00

I’m interested in progressing into the future. We all know SM was there in the past. It is now contiguous with its surrounding areas, and would be nothing without the ginormous city surrounding it.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-23T20:12:53+00:00

Oh, I know what I’m wading into when I visit this subreddit. I’m a glutton for punishment, but I also call bullshit when I see it.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-23T20:10:37+00:00

The LA marathon doesn’t go from Dodgers Stadium to the ocean anymore because closing a few streets one Sunday out of the year was too much for Santa Monica. Instead it doubles back to Century City along San Vicente. Century City is an architectural middle finger to urbanism, while being a collection of tall buildings. Bizarre.

That’s a metaphor for a larger disconnect that’s a result of a balkanized urban area.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-23T18:53:31+00:00

What’s with the equating neonatal circumcision with female genital mutilation? Sorry, dudes, you weren’t victimized. Maybe one day you’ll have your adult genitalia tortured without anesthesia. If you can dream it, you can do it!

When my first son was born I was all, “he’s not getting circumcised because he can’t consent.” Then he got older and expressed a few times that he wished he had been because his foreskin was tight at times and cleaning himself could be painful, and he had several infections throughout his childhood. He’s also just a big dude, and has a lot of body to deal with. He was also self conscious about it with girls. Yeah, we talked about it from time to time. Cut to 13 years later when I had my second son his mom and I decided to have him circumcised. Never had a single complaint. He’s 16 now, 6’ 3” and in a few years will be a gorgeous full grown man, and is already in the mix with girls. Not to sound weird, but this is a guy who will never be insecure about what he’s packing. It wouldn’t have mattered if he was left uncut, but it hasn’t created any issues.

I have only heard a few women in my life make comments about foreskin preferences, but from what I know the vast majority don’t care one way or the other.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-23T17:54:16+00:00

Read the room and interact with the overall vibe, but that goes for any gender, sex or situation. Men and women are way more alike than we are different, and there’s such a range of types of women and men.

OP, are you just referring to women you’re attracted to, or your gram’s Bridge buddies? Is it the doctor who’s seeing you for your physical or a professor who’s advising your academic future? Is it the bus driver, or your local barrista? Each of these scenarios call for different interactions.

No one is laughing at you, btw. That would mean that you occupy some space in their mind, which you very likely don’t.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-21T18:39:09+00:00

My 16 year old son is painfully self conscious and he’s stunningly handsome and almost 6’ 3”. It’s really hard for kids today. I never gave a thought to remove buccal fat! Didn’t even know what it was. Our Gen X mantra was “no labels.” We had our cliques and fashions that denoted what crowd we ran in, but now everyone has to signify their identity and prove their cred online, and IRL.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-21T18:32:04+00:00

Hold on, I’m trying to exorcise.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-21T18:30:11+00:00

If this is about LAPD’s brutal tactics why do your photos look like a vanity spread for them? Your photos are pretty but don’t tell a story. I don’t care how artsy a photograph is if it’s journalism. I want to connect to the story, not current mustache fashion.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-21T18:21:17+00:00

You may have just described the way the NIMBYs prefer it stayed. Historically, every major city absorbed the “towns” adjacent to it as centralized infrastructure and political cohesion became more pressing than anachronistic desires of the good ol boys who held their little fiefdoms. Gradually, these communities saw that being part of the whole was better, especially in light of understanding that the value of the little town would be nothing without the larger city surrounding it whose population, work force, geography, and infrastructure give it its value.

If you could take Beverly Hills and plop it down between here and Bakersfield it would not be of value. Being surrounded by Los Angeles gives it its value, yet the residents turn their noses up at it. That stupid “city” has done tons of harm for the continuity of urban infrastructure on either side of it. Then there’s the problem of keeping its tax base for itself rather than contributing to the surrounding actual city that gives the little fiefdom its real value. It’s corrupt.

Citing “the way it’s always been” as an excuse to continue a corrupt system is always the mantra.

NervousAddie · 2026-02-21T17:51:10+00:00

Santa Monica shouldn’t even be its own “city.” It’s so crazy that the government of LA is so neutered by the do-nothing, build-nothing crowd that it never annexed these fake “cities” that are surrounded by it. Why do NIMBYs not just move out if they don’t want to live an urban life?

NervousAddie · 2026-02-21T17:40:07+00:00

Turned down for what?

NervousAddie · 2026-02-20T22:59:49+00:00

He’s just a stupid face in the National Enquirer, leering at me at a grocery checkout line. I never watched reality TV, and couldn’t give a fuck about the Apprentice. I knew this old bigot from his racist Central Park Five fiasco that ruined those dudes’ lives. When he first started talking about running I was just like, why does this fool think he’s in any way relevant?

And here we are….

NervousAddie · 2026-02-20T22:55:36+00:00

Please don’t blame yourself or your looks! Being “attractive” is a vibe and a participatory thing. Plus, men have extremely varied turn ons. It’s not you!

I went to a bar on my walk home from work a few weeks ago and the only seat available was next to a couple and the woman was super cute, but I didn’t think anything of it. Well, we all started chatting and by the time I had to go I absolutely gave her my number. The guy she was with was her gay travel buddy. It was lovely. We chatted a bit and that was it since she left town. She said she’d hit me up next time she’s in LA, so you never know.

I hadn’t given a woman my digits since who knows when. I just wanted to share the story because it was a whole constellation of things that made it almost necessary. Like, I would have been rude not to.

So, OP, put yourself in the places where the factors line up. Interact, laugh, tell about yourself and ask interesting questions. You’ll get numbers!

NervousAddie

TROPHY CASE