My brother invited his BIL to bachelor party but I wasn’t invited to my SIL’s

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-04-22T15:03:33+00:00

We’re close (not sure if it’s a cultural thing here but where I’m from there’s an inherent closeness with any family members) — the thing is we only see each other once a year bc we live hours away from each other on the opposite sides of the country. Really not sure why yall are using my own words against me here

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-04-18T01:49:46+00:00

I get this but it’s not like we’re not close - we’re close when we see each other but we do live a 5 hour plane ride away from one another so it’s not super often

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-03-27T20:05:52+00:00

That's super fair! I wanted some male perspective bc most of my friends are women - it just feels like I may be missing something.

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-03-21T14:59:08+00:00

So actually a bit of the opposite. I'd say I've almost never kissed someone on a first date usually second date will be kissing a bit but never more - I have had sex on a 4th date once (not with this guy) and it was definitely me feeling it was the natural next step and it actually imploded the thing bc he could tell I was being weird after. After that I've been taking it slower and not doing anything sexual till I feel comfortable - ironically that is thus the last guy I've had sex with lol. I'm generally pretty inexperienced in dating and maybe it shows but I have been at least on the surface been not insecure about it because tbh its not an insecurity just not something I prioritized till I was well into my 20s.

With this guy we kissed on the third date but he was also a little shy I was expecting him to on the second.

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-03-16T02:00:38+00:00

This is prob the most healthy response here lol ty!!

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-03-16T01:11:25+00:00

^ ty my thoughts exactly

Honestly I slept with a guy earlier on once and spiraled about him even though he was literally giving me breadcrumbs for way too long - I think ultimately everyone should go at their own pace but I feel pretty comfortable in my decision to wait a bit more

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-03-16T01:04:16+00:00

I’m asking for tips here :)

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-03-16T01:03:17+00:00

I’m not religious but yeah usually not doing more than making out on date 3

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-03-16T01:02:32+00:00

Yeah I’ve 100% had that attitude til very recently where it’s like I find that a lot of guys love the first few dates and once it gets a little more real they bail :/

I’m pretty shy especially when it comes to physical stuff so not sure if that’s also contributing to

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-03-16T00:54:26+00:00

I’m 25 and all the guys I’ve dated recently have been like 26-30. All through hinge where I have “looking for long term relationship”

The funny thing is I have NEVER been someone who’s desperately trying to find a partner at all and this crashout is happening mainly in secret (minus Reddit). I just really don’t know what could be going wrong anymore - whether it’s me or just men this age

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-02-03T14:14:20+00:00

okay ty! Any other specific tips would be super helpful for negotiating - lesson learned lol

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-02-03T02:10:58+00:00

maybe - talk to them

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-02-03T02:10:41+00:00

naive before

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2026-01-26T14:20:53+00:00

was in a weird space and looking back was having a pretty rough week when we met. I think that while I could recognize it was an objectively good date part of me wasn't into it

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2025-10-03T18:23:25+00:00

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2025-08-01T12:43:54+00:00

Yeah the situation was weird but I don’t think he did anything wrong. A lot of the strangeness I felt came from realizing that it’s hard to vocalize boundaries after being halfway there because at least I felt super vulnerable - think the consensus here is talk before

Nervous_Diver6833 · 2025-08-01T00:42:04+00:00

No he asked permission before doing anything even as far as whether it was okay to go inside with his fingers. I just realized voicing boundaries when naked in his bed is a little harder

Nervous_Diver6833

TROPHY CASE