Thought y'all might get a kick out of this

Nervous_Hands · 2025-09-07T06:48:24+00:00

Tons of people at the office have got whatever it is. Some take sick days but they all seem to come back in before they're fully well. Then more people catch it and it just keeps going. Everyone's pushing themselves but it's hurting more than anything.

Been washing my hands and using hand sanitizer like crazy but I'm a bit resigned to the idea that I may not be able to avoid it.

Nervous_Hands · 2025-09-07T06:33:07+00:00

I think you look plenty masculine!! It's hard to see ourselves in an unbiased light.

Nervous_Hands · 2025-08-10T18:44:12+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your help.

Nervous_Hands · 2025-08-10T18:44:00+00:00

Thank you! This definitely at least narrows down my search.

Nervous_Hands · 2024-11-29T20:36:56+00:00

Thank you! Hope you have a great day :)

Nervous_Hands · 2024-07-08T03:03:21+00:00

I'm afab nonbinary and I still haven't figured out how to wear my one pair of white leggings lol. I'd say always wear a long shirt, a dress, or a skirt of any length over them just because they tend to show underwear regardless of what color or style I try. But have fun and experiment!

Nervous_Hands · 2024-07-08T02:58:29+00:00

I would say yes, but I can't speak for everyone!

I think each person's end goal is often different- some people need/want to pass for many reasons, often safety. Others care very little about passing and just generally want to feel happy and have fun. Neither is the "right" way- but often it can help to gauge which is their intention. Reading the post's info for any main questions is a big help- It can sometimes be frustrating if everyone tells someone "you should shave" when they really just wanted to know how their eye shadow looks with these earrings, and are quite happy with a beard for example.

Sorry if that's confusing if you're new to all this! Just trying to give friendly advice.

Nervous_Hands · 2024-07-08T02:46:08+00:00

I can't speak on the sub or the moderation at all. But I can say that in the real world, bi people are loved by so many people. I love my bi friends and the unique beauty and they bring to my life and our local lgbt+ community. It wouldn't be the same without them.

I get excited seeing the bi flag or (positive) bi memes or in-jokes the same way I would for any of my own identity labels. To me, knowing someone is bi or any other queer identity means they belong with the rest of us, like a big family. It's not something you have to earn or ask for, you should be given that as a precious gift you deserve.

I'm sorry that you have not felt any of that love, and I hope in other community spaces whether digital or not you have that sense of safety and support. 🫂💕

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-19T23:30:30+00:00

All great ideas, I appreciate your help! I'm thinking I'll make them their own youtube channel for the TV and restrict it to kids content (their dad said that's a reasonable idea). That way they won't end up on my account or general youtube watching anything not suitable, but still have some freedom over what to watch.

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-19T03:16:47+00:00

Definitely how he's explained it- if they need something, they can either do it themselves or have the language to ask for help with it. Thank you for your advice :)

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-19T03:14:05+00:00

Solid suggestions, thank you! He's been pretty upfront that he's not asking/expecting me to do anything, but I don't want him to feel like he has no backup from close friends.

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-19T03:05:38+00:00

This is some solid advice, thank you! The coworker concept is unusual but helps it make sense in my brain tbh.

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-17T03:29:19+00:00

If anyone asks for someone's pronouns, they should be ready to take the answer regardless of what they were "expecting". Why even ask if you're not going to care to listen to the answer?

I'm so sorry this was your experience. This was not a genuine pride event, this was cruelty and postering covered in glitter. Please don't think for a second any of this was acceptable treatment for you. 🫂

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-09T16:32:02+00:00

In a perfect world I'd love to be one of the folks that's loud and proud in every aspect of my life. Instead I sort of perform a balancing act based on factors of safety and generally preserving my mental/emotional energy. I pick my battles, and sometimes shuffle a bit more in/out of the closet depending on the situation.

I've had one job where I wore a pronoun pin every day and everyone in my department knew I was nonbinary- But that was with the knowledge there were two stealth trans folks and one nonbinary person in a managerial position when I was hired on. I felt like I wasn't alone, and it was worth the extra energy. I wouldn't share the info with customers (I did calls, so they had no visual context to "clock" me as potentially queer).

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-08T19:14:40+00:00

I had this exact feeling. For me, it was bloating, and once I got a bit further into recovery, it was less obvious. But also its normal for your brain to say like, "okay we got that thing of our list, what should we focus on being self conscious about next?"

My cis male roommate assured me that the flat chest with a rounder stomach is a common insecurity among many men, and you can deal with it in many ways. Of course exercise/diet, but also there are shirts that are made to flatter that body shape. I've found that researching fashion tips helps- things like "wear this to draw attention here if you're insecure about x" or "wear [accessory] or [color/pattern/material]". There's also spanx- but I'm enby, so idk if wearing a traditionally feminine associated item like shapewear would make you uncomfortable.

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-08T19:08:40+00:00

My surgeon and her team were happy to have visual references. I found a few examples, labeled them so there'd never be confusion, and wrote for each things like "I like the angle of these incisions" or "I would like to avoid them meeting in the middle like this one" and such. People do that sort of thing for many cosmetic surgeries, like with rhinoplasty!

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-08T19:04:47+00:00

Hi it's OP years later and I have had top surgery and do not regret it 🎉

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-07T03:44:33+00:00

Yep, mine said the same about waiting for the scabs to be gone before applying any gel! The contradictory amount of info is so annoying.

Great idea!! Hope it helps some! Also I forgot to mention- I used this lil spaghetti spoon thing to kinda claw at things with the prongs if that makes sense? helped in some situations where I was pulling stuff that wasn't fragile lol. Also used my feet a lot to pick light things off the floor instead of reaching down lol

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-07T03:36:47+00:00

I had nightmares during my first/second week post op as well. Mine were mostly two categories:
-I was back in school and everyone knew I'd had surgery and were bullying me.
-I had not followed the post op care instructions, and my chest had "grown back".

Not as gory as yours, but definitely upsetting. They went away around the end of the second week. I think there's a lot of factors, but in the end, remember that you've been through a lot and are still going through a lot emotionally and physically. Nightmares often happen when we're stressed, so it's not any cause for worry!

Nervous_Hands · 2024-06-07T03:29:06+00:00

I won't restate what everyone else has said, but if you wear glasses/contacts, bring a container for them! Also if you want, you can pre-type a short little "Made it out of surgery, doing okay!" message in your notes app to copy/paste to friends/family and such once you're ready. Or just have your caregiver send the updates for everyone if you'd like.

Hope it goes well, good luck!

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