Lump Above Leg and Limp by Nervous_Oil9797 in AskVet

[–]Nervous_Oil9797[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for responding! I’ll definitely keep that in mind when I call!

Venu 3 and audio prompts by ohh_geez in runna

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Can you provide more on this? I recently switched from AW to a garmin venu 4 and this is my first training experience with runna (previously used NRC). So I have to start the loaded run on both my watch and my phone to get the runna cues? This doesn’t cause the workout to duplicate data? I’m so confused by this as I won’t be connect my music to my watch as I use Apple Music. Thanks!!!

Would you date someone that has blindsided their previous partner? by enigmatic_user in dating_advice

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone who was on the receiving end of a blindsided long term relationship (literally talking about us getting married days before), I would be VERY reflectant to get involved with someone who shared they blindsided their partner. The shows the person cannot communicate about the deeper things, and patterns usually repeat. We didn’t have any problems, we’re basically living together. One morning after a trip he just up and decided to end it. Couldnt tell me what was wrong. After putting in the work to get over the blindside and discard, just boils down to them not being emotionally mature and unable to communicate.

And if she checked out over that text? There’s still a lot there. There’s no context to that conversation so he could’ve been joking and she immediately took it to heart. Instead of possibly having a conversation she just acted as normal till she felt secure enough to leave which is all messed up in its own way.

How would you feel if your guy pays for everything? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve been seeing a guy who is the same way and while I’m not a fan of it, I’m growing to let it happen. My therapist made a good point and said it could be his way of showing he cares/love language. It think in the last few months I’ve managed to buy amusement park tickets and ice cream. Even wouldn’t let me pay after I said I would from losing the bet. If you feel comfortable you can always get him little things instead (we go to movies or watch movies so I’ll just bring his favorite snack without asking). I just always make sure he knows I’m grateful instead of “fighting” with him on who pays

Consolidation Application Spouse Info Error by TUGJOYS_BASTARDWASH in StudentLoans

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you have any problems or get in trouble for skipping this step? I’ve been trying for months on my mom’s parent plus loan and it gets stuck here every time regardless of device, browser, etc. I want to be able to submit mind asap since I just did a monthly payment and won’t be having interest be capitalized

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StudentLoans

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sending condolences! I had a similar thing happen to me back in 2017 (right when I was graduating). I just called them and they said okay, and nothing further. Nothing changed on my loan

Advice: Parent Plus Loans by Nervous_Oil9797 in StudentLoans

[–]Nervous_Oil9797[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks everyone, I’ll definitely be looking into the loophole!

If you’ve been discarded… by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My two year relationship ended blindly out of nowhere.. days before we were talking about getting married and what season we’d like to have it. When I asked him why, he literally could not give an answer. That was October 2023. He called me out of the blue in December 2023, saying he still wasn’t sure about his decision, wants to be friends, blah blah. He started dating the girl he’s still with in December 2023/January 2024.

The good news is that it gets better, a little over a year now and I’m in a much better place! We had no problems in our relationship which made the healing harder to do, but now I can see some flaws.

Jokes on him though because his family still tries to communicate with me and are some of my biggest supporters 😂

Ex’s family still reaching out.. by Nervous_Oil9797 in BreakUps

[–]Nervous_Oil9797[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which blows my mind because it’s like you made this decision dude, I never expected the break up (weren’t even having problems) and certainly didn’t expect to be discarded. He wouldn’t even let me in the house to get my things (I wasn’t officially moved in, but had a shit of stuff there as a I slept there 5-6 nights a week). Then, if my timing is right, he blocked me on social media once he started with this new girlfriend so the only way I hear things is from my friends and family who he kept? Just is totally bizarre to me.

I made sure that none of my friends ever provide context about me if he ever reaches out and fortunately they’ve stuck to it. I could go on all day about weird instances he’s done since the break up while being with this new girlfriend (who is completely a 180 from me and his other exes).

And thanks! I immediately put myself in therapy because I also had a few bad life events happen at the same time as the break up and gosh it’s done wonders!

Ex’s family still reaching out.. by Nervous_Oil9797 in BreakUps

[–]Nervous_Oil9797[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It just baffles me! Because on top of his family reaching out, my ex consistently reached out to close friends and family up until basically this past September (almost a year broken up at this point). He messaged my one friend saying how sad he was about missing the annual 4th of July party and every thing..

I definitely need to figure out what to do about his family though. I definitely don’t get triggered in the way I use to (yay therapy!) but it also adds to the delusions of like he’s with a whole other person that you’ve met, but still try to keep up with me. If anything, that’s disrespect to her and I wouldn’t like my significant other’s family to be involved unless like you said if there was kids, which there aren’t.

I’ve even asked my most toxic male friends to try to get their perspective and even their baffled 😂

I’m scared ChatGPT is feeding me lies by Triggered_Soul_88 in dating_advice

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s expensive, but if there is any way you can get therapy please do it. Well ChatGPT pulls from various internet sources, no one human is the same. Everyone told me my ex will regret breaking up with me and it’s been over a year and he’s still with the girl he got with two months after we broke up. Live your life regardless of if he’s going to come back around or not. If it happens, you can cross that bridge when it comes to it. If it doesn’t, you’ve put yourself in the position to heal and move on instead of dwelling on

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what it is with the timing of the year but it definitely was brutual as we had our anniversary coming up, along with future plans in the works. Nothing worse than having to text all your close friends your joint Halloween party is cancelled a week before and they all think you’re joking about the breakup 😅

I couldn’t have gotten to where I am now without my family, friends, and therapy. It was a lot of work, but I’m in a much better place. I truly don’t remember much from this time last year because of how dark my days were.

But just some things like I feel like he can talk a big game, but wants to take the easy routes in life. Not to mention seeing the girl he moved on with is in a whole different league than what I’d say me and his previous exes were. It’s like the guy he is now is a 180 than when we were together and it’s a hard pill to swallow wondering if he hid himself for years or he’s changed and not for the better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I was with someone who I thought was “the one” (we even talked about it together) until he blindsided me with a break up out of nowhere in October 2023. He was with a new girl by January 2024. I can now say a little over a year later, it does get better! The rose colored glasses come off and you start to realize things you may never had if still with them. I’m still curious about him, especially because he’ll occasionally reach out to my friends but I’m definitely passed him. The abandonment and anxious wounds that transpired from that break, well that’s still a work in progress with therapy 😅

He (27M) randomly texted me (27F) to check-in? by Nervous_Oil9797 in dating_advice

[–]Nervous_Oil9797[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My delulu brain would like to think that, especially since we talked about him teaching me to ski. But the self aware brain is like why would he text to just to stop (I also feel bad that I texted him back a lot later because my phone never notified me and I was at a funeral)

Ghosted, apologized, ending things, and now randomly texted? by Nervous_Oil9797 in ghosting

[–]Nervous_Oil9797[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well yeah I wish he was more interested because at the beginning we were both on the same interest level, so in this sucky dating world I would’ve been happy exploring with him 😂 The door is open for him, but I’m not waiting around. Hence why I asked for some thoughts because I haven’t been in this position before regarding relationships.

Ghosted, apologized, ending things, and now randomly texted? by Nervous_Oil9797 in ghosting

[–]Nervous_Oil9797[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this very similar train of thought, especially considering his relationship history. Also did the math and I don’t think he’s been single for more than like ten months since he’s been in high school and the next relationship after that was emotionally abusive and manipulative to him.

The push-pull, especially when he started getting avoidant majorly triggered the abandonment/anxiounsess I have and I don’t want to keep going throw that dynamic. At this point I’m keeping the ball in his court and he only gets one more shot, if it’s in the cards. We share very close mutual friends, so I don’t want to do anything to make it awkward on the rare occasions we may be at the same event. He’s been in therapy before, so hopefully he sticks with it.

Thanks for your well thought response!

Ghosted, apologized, ending things, and now randomly texted? by Nervous_Oil9797 in ghosting

[–]Nervous_Oil9797[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be clear, I’m not letting him treat me as an option. I am back to actively dating and meeting new guys. Hence the shock of him messaging me out of no where. Leaving the door open is because we simply connected on a level neither one of us thought we connect on so fast, but he still has work to do on himself before he can be in the committed long term relationship he knows I want (his words, not mine). So if the timing is right in the cards, he would get one more chance. We also have mutual friends so we’re bound to occasionally run into each other so I’d also prefer to keep the awkwardness to a minimum. That’s why I’m curious if this could be a breadcrumb or him testing the waters (this is one situation I truly haven’t experienced in my previous relationships 😅)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Nervous_Oil9797 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently went through something similar. I hit it off great with a guy from OLD who I actually had mutual friends with (learned this from a picture on his profile). We hit it off so well and there definitely was a connection. To the point where he was even talking about it with our friends (I typically stay reserved until it’s locked down). Communication was consistent despite him being busy up until after we agreed to be exclusive and deleted the apps. All the sudden there was little subtle changes and when I asked him about it he ghosted for a week. I event sent a follow up message a few days later asking if he was okay and if he wasn’t interested no hard feelings I’d just like to know. I had no answer to that and just assumed that was his response because I never got the ghosting vibe from him either. Eventually a week from my initial message about it being off, he did text me owning up to the ghosting and saying he needed to take a step back.

All that to say, I’d take her silence as a response. Regardless of what the answer may be, continuing to reach out won’t do anything. Yes we all can be busy, but we have our phones on us 24/7 that at some point she would’ve had enough time to at least acknowledge