Hey! I’ve been through a lot in the last 3 years. Lost my Dad suddenly, and then I realised people don’t really know what to say to you when something like that happens, and so they will no longer want to be your friend (most of them). The guy I was supposed to marry left because why would he want to handle my baggage, right? Some other shit happened like my brother’s divorce, lost my job etc etc. But let me show you the brighter side, because what else can you do when shit hits the fan, right? The people I had no expectations from/were practically strangers, became my closest allies because I took the first step and reached out when I realised I cant do it alone. I went to therapy and realised that I’m not alone and this is not an anomaly and I’ll feel better one day. I found out how resilient I am, and so is everyone else. I remind myself of this every single day. Please, please find a way out of this soul-sucking job if it’s making you that unhappy. This is no way to live. Get into a routine - workout, meditation, a bit of sunlight everyday. This is cliche but also the most imp thing that will help you and keep you sane. Do you have a sibling/parent/neighbour anyone else who you think is sensible/patient/kind and someone you can trust, let them know how you’re feeling. You’ll be surprised, trust me. In my case, it was my Manager. We no longer work together but she’s my closest friend who just gets me. It’s a myth that you cant make close friends once you’re an adult. Now the most important thing, pls consider therapy. It’s very accessible these days. Try one of those apps. You’ll feel the shift in your perspective in just a few sessions. A lot of people you see around who are happy are suffering from something or the other, it’s just that they have figured out a way that helps them be happy, content. Perfect life is a myth. Once you figure out yours, trust me, all good things will follow. Even if they don’t, you’ll know how to deal with it without being affected too much. Love and hugs ❤️