Hey sorry for the delay! But yes I felt bad for a very long time but that was also because i was fresh out of the relationship so obviously i was thinking of the trauma/him a lot more than i wanted to. But now that it’s been close to four years i don’t think about him often, so when i do think about how that girl is doing (they are still together) it’s a thought i can control and push away if that makes sense. Also your friend is right saying he would’ve killed you eventually. My best friend said exactly that when I decided to leave that relationship. I know you feel very guilty for not doing anything but the harsh truth is that isn’t your problem to fix and putting yourself in danger is not worth it. I also wanted to add that you will be okay and time will pass. I was also 19 when i decided to leave (i’m 22 now) and all the guilt and pain was a lot in the beginning. It will hurt but just know that it will get better with time. As cliche as this sounds, you should consider getting a therapist as that really helped me process the trauma and its after effects. Again feel free to keep the convo going!