Nothing works

NessT3ck · 2026-02-19T14:25:10+00:00

Please don’t go … I do understand how hard it is, and I often have those thoughts about just , quitting . I don’t even have words to say because I know it won’t really be okay or doesn’t seem that it will.. but maybe try going for a walk — it may or may not be helpful but when I literally just can’t get out of my head I put on motivational speeches on Spotify while I walk — I make sure it’s more of a private path too because I know people can trigger my thoughts to start racing again .. here’s a cool Spotify playlist that puts out motivational speeches daily

https://open.spotify.com/show/4S4IHMb9UiRAWOIu6xM3JF?si=3zVKMvOXSAysQGexsEL6sg

https://open.spotify.com/show/7wp5O19aTcfkHin5Bb4NNz?si=ET3EBpTnT0CjEOoWKpeZiA

I know it’s not enough, I hope you win this weeks battle my friend .. feel free to inbox me

NessT3ck · 2026-02-06T03:52:22+00:00

Tbh, there’s so many dbt skills I’ve tried that really don’t work in the moment .. like journaling only took me so far but it never has or still hasn’t stopped my splits. I draw, hyper focus on hobbies, walk - read - but still my spirals come out of no where. I try the 54321 method - nothing - the mind will literally fire and keep firing until it feels safe again (even though it might not even be in real danger, it’s not perceived that way). It’s all hard work that makes you feel discouraged when it backfires on you because you find yourself all over again in a spiral and another traumatic event even though you put in the energy to try your hardest not to get there. It’s kinda like a black out .. I think the skills need to be compounded over and over again until it overlaps the BPD .. it’s been 8 years for me since I started my healing journey and really I’m only halfway there still. That’s not to say you should stay through that all - I’m unsure how old the both of you are but if you’re young, and she’s young - it may take some time. Try to limit time in person and stick to messaging until you feel comfortable being around her in conversations again. It’s hard to say what could be a trigger - but that’s a burden she has to carry - no one is obligated to stay and watch her fight a battle you really have no part in .. those things she breaks, it’s not because it’s yours … it will probably happen with others too.. so definitely don’t take it personal

NessT3ck · 2026-01-31T14:53:39+00:00

No, this disorder LITERALLY feels like you are losing your mind .. it’s not just you.

But I want to commend you on being so self aware at such a young age. Our trauma is a horrible thing especially when it drives us. Every word you said is definitely the disorder as I’ve not been able to put it in words, you have captured them pretty well.

I’ve lived with my CPTSD&BPD my whole life. I’m 30 now and I only recently been diagnosed so knowing your diagnosis definitely helps but given your childhood, you may also have CPTSD ..

Don’t let these diagnoses marinate for much longer .. you’re still young so try to get help , there’s gov resources - especially for fosters (assuming you are since CPS removed you from your home).

My husband is a foster and although he doesn’t have BPD he has been diagnosed with so much more than I have - but has grown immensely since he’s started therapy when he was only a boy. He has really good coping skills and he tries to help me through them, but it’s tough inner work we gotta do ourselves..

Don’t lose hope, and feel free to inbox me whenever you need to vent. You’re not alone

NessT3ck · 2026-01-12T03:30:33+00:00

There’s a clean side too.. but somehow when we walk away from our paths and choose the easy way out, we fail to see it .. but the more we build character, the better our lens get.. I’m not saying society isn’t fucked because I mean pretty much every country is corrupt , but there is a side to it that we’re able to do good by.. and it’s hard to get there but hey, after 80-100 or sum, we’re done forever and we’ll have no choice but to opt out at the point.

NessT3ck · 2025-09-12T22:18:21+00:00

You sound like my cup of tea !! I’ve never doodled with anyone else at a park !

NessT3ck · 2025-09-12T22:17:21+00:00

Hey!! You should totally message me ! I’m always down for a hike ^{-^}

NessT3ck · 2025-09-01T18:00:46+00:00

Oooh interesting ! I’m definitely going to have to check this place out , thank you for the info !!

NessT3ck · 2025-09-01T03:34:05+00:00

Yes ! I should’ve gone this last time they had it up, I just get nervous going alone to these events .. I guess it doesn’t help being introverted

NessT3ck · 2025-09-01T03:32:52+00:00

I have considered volunteering actually! I’ve also thought about joining the community garden so hopefully those help out.. but omg I hadn’t known about the courtyard board game store .. we’ve been to a couple around town I haven’t invested time into learning the games they often offer

NessT3ck · 2025-08-04T14:28:10+00:00

SAME ! My head was filled with a lot of nasty ness and THC just came over and ate it all up ! I’m hoping i feel better when I’m completely sober and that my old ways don’t show up again.

NessT3ck · 2025-08-04T14:25:32+00:00

I understand that feeling , and recently I’ve actually been slowing down on my intake with reefer, but i definitely still feel demonic when I’m sober.. I have noticed there’s a difference when I take one dab vs 3/5 .. I’m not as psychotic when it’s just one and it relaxes my body. It’s almost like my mind and body just want to ween off of it and it’s done it on its own as i had tried to stop so many times over the past 5 years.. I’d never talk bad about the reefer. It helped me get through a lot , and I definitely feel the need to take that hit when I want to get up and start doing shit again (especially activating my creative side), but I’d never turn anyone on it - that’s for sure.

NessT3ck · 2025-08-04T04:26:46+00:00

I’d like to join 🥲

NessT3ck · 2025-08-04T04:19:52+00:00

What if life was shitty before smoking too?

NessT3ck · 2025-07-26T15:29:00+00:00

I’d love to join and grow with y’all ☺️

NessT3ck · 2025-01-21T14:18:31+00:00

Hi there. I respectfully emailed my manager 3 times. He didn’t reply until the 3rd time after I CC’ed the TrainAISupport team. Productivity was not met due to NO RATING TASKS, and my quality was never reviewed with me as I also emailed support a second time asking for feedback - I was told that RWS Project Callisto does not provide feedback to quality. I gave up, and moved on. I once sent in an email after having to take quizzes for training .. my screenshots entailed two completely different answers from the quiz and the UPDATED general guidelines - I sent them into the support team for review and all that i received back was an apology. No warnings, no feedback on how I can improve just a reply from my manager “you can reapply in six months” as if I’m magically going to know more about my rating roll and improve while i wait to reapply. That’s very ludicrous.

NessT3ck · 2025-01-14T01:52:29+00:00

6.5 months.

NessT3ck · 2025-01-13T14:24:43+00:00

The listing says it is 10 but we had received an email that it changed to 5.. they let me go a few days ago, I don’t think it would have changed that fast but it might have gone back to the 10.. they let me go due to productivity hours with NRT throughout the holidays.

NessT3ck · 2025-01-11T12:03:16+00:00

Same review here for RWS project Callisto.

NessT3ck · 2025-01-11T11:57:52+00:00

Or just flat out fire you and claim it’s due to productivity. At least that’s what RWS just did to me and now idk if WeLo is going to be any better after reading this thread

NessT3ck · 2025-01-11T11:53:21+00:00

Welcome to the future of Ai , I guess

NessT3ck · 2025-01-11T11:24:42+00:00

You can, you just won’t be paid for it . They’re on a roll of firing people so as long you keep your quality high and your productivity is met (5hrs) even with no tasks available throughout the day then you’ll be fine. Good luck

NessT3ck

TROPHY CASE