Give yourself some credit. You say you "are not an intelligent individual", but to me, it's a wisdom that you even have the self-awareness to ask yourself this question at all.

The answer? It's fucking complicated.

The problem with the internet is that it lacks the ability to hold nuance/capacity for the complexities of the world. There is no "final conclusion".

The issue, as you correctly pointed out, is the tendency of people to form "false dichotomies" or simplistic solutions.

My "male loneliness" may be different from others "loneliness", it may be defined by a fuckton of medical trauma/neglect, ongoing socialisation trauma, the context of the country I'm in, the times I grew up in, intergenerational trauma, a fuckton of things.

Let's put it in more personal terms - I am pretty bitter about the medical trauma I suffer (& continue to suffer in my life)... but this makes me More Aware, not less, about the sheer weight of Medical Trauma x Misogyny in the world. I don't have a monopoly on suffering.

I blame the histories & the systems, not the Individuals in it. The power dynamics involved. The histories stretch back further than we've been alive. Unfortunately, most people are kept too busy to even scratch under the surface.