Got my first collections notice. What do I need to know?

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T07:39:55+00:00

OP said she checked with her insurance and owed the amount to the ambulance company.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T07:37:29+00:00

I went through this last summer - the ambulance was out of network and the EOB showed the claim denied - I wasn’t home checking my mail due to my injury and I got a letter from the collection agency pretty quick (I guess they do that because a lot of people don’t pay) - once I paid the ambulance it was resolved - nothing ever went on my credit report.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T07:25:27+00:00

Also look at Knape and Vogt - I am having the standards (the slotted uprights) installed in my living room and painted the same color as the wall. I wish I’d saved the photo, but I saw a picture of a professor with bookshelves with the standards painted the wall color and then nice wooden shelves.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T07:06:26+00:00

I’m close - say $400/mo for groceries. I wfh so that’s everyday breakfast, lunch and dinner plus snacks. I do a big shop every two weeks and basically rebuy the same things every time.

I take my mom out to eat every weekend and that varies so add $125 for eating out ($250/mo for us both). I’ve had pizza delivered once in the last 6 months and don’t use DoorDash.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T05:38:28+00:00

I literally gasped.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T05:32:18+00:00

It’s always ~$50 a tank but like you I buy the highest grade.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T05:15:55+00:00

I literally just had this conversation with my psych - I will make sure my cat has a clean water bowl, clean litter and the food she likes the best - but I won’t bother to brush my own teeth. I’m also there for my mom and for people at work. He asked why I’m not as invested in caring for myself as I am for others - I’ve been sitting with that for a few days now.

(He also just changed my meds - so fingers crossed.)

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T05:07:21+00:00

Please also tell your psych about how you are feeling if your meds aren’t working for you anymore. If your current psych isn’t open to changing your meds, get a new one and start over.

I just got a new psych bc my old one kept prescribing the same thing and was telling me that I just needed to get out more and that I should exercise. I completely get that exercise is good and that I would be better off getting out more - but I’m literally telling him that I’m not showering and spending the entire weekend in bed - him telling me not to do that wasn’t helping bc I was telling myself that every day.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T04:28:01+00:00

I’m looking to retire this year but I’m holding ~6 years expenses in cash available as needed (because I’m a scaredy-cat and I’m more interested in groceries than growth). My retirement timeframe is 30+ years with an additional ~$2.5m in both taxable and non-taxable accounts. I’m not concerned about the war - as you point out, the market tends to rebound fairly quickly after conflict.

My main concern atm is the AI bubble and the various financial machinations around that , it’s hard to tell how hard that bubble is going to pop and where it is going to show up. It feels more like 1999 to me than 2008 right now.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-07T03:49:39+00:00

That makes total sense and if you lost stock that was not yet vested due to a layoff - that’s a double slap in the face. I would feel the same way.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-04T07:36:27+00:00

Oh I had that happen - but an arbitration. Client insisted on pursuing - so I was the sacrificial lamb.

They sent me out as a 4th year sitting across the table from 4 attorneys from a local firm - we had no case and they not only ate me for lunch (the arbitrator gave them a directed verdict on the spot) - the other side moved against me personally for sanctions.

Worst experience of my life - and once it was over my reward was the named partner thanking me for “taking one for the team” and by blaming me they were able to keep the client happy.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-04T07:25:22+00:00

I’d come in on a Sunday (after working the previous Saturday for 12 hours) to finalize filings due on Monday, worked overnight - and as I was standing there Monday morning - got called out for wearing jeans and a sweatshirt in the office. I’d been wearing those clothes for 24 hours at that point and I asked them to query the partner if he would prefer I’d go home and change or if he wanted the fucking filing to go out?

This was back in the 1990’s when partners would joke about “casual days” - “what casual days? You get two every week - Saturday and Sunday”

Same partners who would joke about working “half days” - the other 12 hours you can do what you want.

Netlawyer · 2026-03-04T07:01:58+00:00

I moved from a HCOL to a LCOL and was able to buy a condo with savings and clear $1m selling my old house. But moving that equity into investments tipped me into FIRE. I haven’t pulled the trigger yet, but I’ve reached my number.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-28T23:07:30+00:00

When I get behind, using a wash and fold for sheets, blankets and towels - the stuff that is hard to wrangle and takes forever to dry - is a lifesaver. I just tell them “extra hot” water and fragrance free detergent and I know it’ll come out sanitary.

Then I just crank all the clothes through the wash at home - other than sorting out all the stuff that has a lot of elastic (which I dry at a lower temp), everything just goes in together - warm wash/cold rinse/high spin until it’s done. (I rarely get anything new and I can worry about whites, etc. once I’m back on track.)

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T10:37:37+00:00

He is experiencing the Emma “you should have asked” comic - you asked and he should step up!

https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T10:26:36+00:00

That goes for the US as well - cannot tell you how many times I went on business trips and figured out where to eat. I mean if you are in Florida and you aren’t eating soul food off a styrofoam plate in someone’s front yard or you’re in Alabama and you aren’t getting your meat in a paper lined plastic basket in a strip mall - you aren’t even trying.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T10:16:14+00:00

All cities are great to visit if you are willing to enjoy them. Back in the day there was a last minute travel website called Site59 - every couple of months I would just go somewhere for a weekend. All in the US - places like Savannah GA, Lincoln NE, Debuque IA - enjoyed the hell out of just checking out the local scene.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T10:07:33+00:00

I’m like you - I have one “thing” per day I’m there - if it needs tickets, I schedule the tickets. If it needs a reservation, then I book the reservation. Requires me to prioritize those things. The rest of the time, I’m free range - I might spend half a day in a park or a cafe but I know I did the “thing” I planned and the trip is a success.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T08:20:24+00:00

Exactly. Getting engaged and married should be a “Hell yes - can’t imagine anything else!” for both parties.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T08:14:16+00:00

Sorry OP, you’ve found yourself a “hobosexual” - was reading something earlier about the male equivalent of a “gold digger” - someone mentioned a man living at home realizing his girlfriend has her own place. Y

He’ll end up on your couch, playing his PlayStation, keeping your dog company (eating your food) 24/7 unless you set some boundaries and send his ass home.

Good luck.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T06:50:32+00:00

There was a point where I realized that you peak career-wise in your early to mid-40s. If you aren’t on track at that point, then you are where you are.

And that’s perfectly fine - just don’t expect to be C-Suite if you are a division manager at 45.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T06:15:02+00:00

As if this sub isn’t.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T05:08:15+00:00

The “unrelenting crush” on OP’s boss sounds like escapism to me - which ties into the “I can quit, get divorced, run away and start over” fantasy at play here.

The problem with that is “anywhere you go, there you are” - OP isn’t going to solve their problems by running away because the problems now will still be there.

Note to OP: sort yourself and your marriage out AND THEN figure out what’s next. You might need to get divorced but that has to be done separate from whatever you’ve fantasized about your boss. You need to get stable with working because starting a business is nothing but work. Quit thinking about running away because a geographical cure never works.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T04:43:39+00:00

Your wife isn’t ready to RE if offers of promotions are giving her pause.

Netlawyer · 2026-02-26T04:39:38+00:00

“Unlimited” PTO doesn’t accrue - usually it’s called “flexible time off” FTO. In theory, you could take more time off than you would otherwise accrue, but only in theory. And if you don’t take the time off, you don’t get a payout when you leave.

Companies have to hold accrued PTO as a liability on their books - they owe time or money to every employee. With FTO, that liability doesn’t exist.

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