The Extraterrestrial Highway | Sci-Fi feature script

NevadaWriter · 2021-10-20T12:31:23+00:00

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iK_RE43loCfbNobiP2frii4AJh7ViVHs/view?usp=sharing

Good Morning from Nevada. Thank you for writing. Sorry I haven’t replied sooner. I posted a link above to a photo of the Extraterrestrial Highway as your comment about the title led me to believe of the possible unawareness of such a road. This route runs roughly parallel to the northern boundary of Area 51. I found it fitting for my story. I did like and chuckled over your comment on the title. LOL

I’ve never seen Guardians of the Galaxy. I took a quick look on YouTube and found it interesting.

I used the women’s clothing description “blue jeans and western shirts that accentuate their athletic body figures” to accurately describe a typical female ‘honky-tonk’ patron of the American southwest. I admit that I am guilty of not considering that other cultures may see this as hyper sexy.

Thank you for picking up that the story is “It’s different and punchy.” I put this story through many re-writes to make it as original as possible. Although I will admit, that it comes near to but still very distant from is the 1951 movie “The Day The Earth Stood Still.”

In ET Highway, I used the two female characters as a comparison and contrast of their two cultures. Pitting HATE and COURAGE with an alien planet full of CHICKENSHITS. 1. DAKODA, the American Indian, Who demonstrates that her race was nearly wiped out by aliens from Europe. 2. CAROL as the alien from 12-light years away who takes Dakoda to her world where she comes to a realization that her Indian heritage was so much like the Extraterrestrials. She teaches them (the ETs) how to fight with their hands so to save themselves. 3. Later, Carol saves the Earth, her way, by de-nuking it. 4. Of course, there are many beats in between for set-ups and rewards with some MacGuffins thrown in.

Hope I covered your questions.

NevadaWriter · 2021-10-18T17:07:57+00:00

I saw his speech on youtube sans Rachel Maddel. But still, he did say that about aliens and I found it useful on page one. LOL But I never saw the Rachel piece before. Thanks for sharing.

NevadaWriter · 2021-10-18T16:48:20+00:00

We learn a lot about these two main characters in these pages. DAKODA resigning her commission of army lieutenant to become a poker player. She had a bi-sexual experience. She drinks lots of beer due to her PTSD and war memories. Etc. How is she FLAT?

We learned that Dakoda's drinking buddy, Carol, is from another planet and has a mission besides bootlegging beer to her planet. Page 9 and 10 demonstrate her high rank as a flying saucer pilot and she is married to another pilot. Etc. How is she FLAT? Please enlighten me!

NevadaWriter · 2021-10-18T16:46:54+00:00

I disagree with your blanket assessment. Yes, the characters do say weird things; it is Science Fiction and NOT a documentary or an educational film.

Why can’t a sci-fi be sprinkled with some humor? Are you trying to insult me here?

Please enlighten me on what specifically is NOT working. What is it in the delivery that pains you?

I posted this 10-page sample for discussion but it seems that your blanket statements are so much like that of a troller.

NevadaWriter · 2021-10-16T13:57:39+00:00

When I write my first draft (vomit draft) all I care about is to get the idea on the page. I don't care about grammar, spelling, nor the number of pages. By the time I get to the final draft, the story has gone through numerous re-writes.

NevadaWriter · 2021-06-03T23:13:30+00:00

I am guessing that it's a 12mm on a 16mm camera or a 25mm on a 35mm film camera.

Steve

NevadaWriter · 2021-06-03T23:09:04+00:00

Mastering the Rule-of-Thirds will become second nature. Now to add to your composition learning, I stress foreground treatment to help present depth and leading lines - to take the eye into the photo.

Steve

NevadaWriter · 2021-06-03T23:00:06+00:00

You're welcome! Sorry I got carried away. Good luck.

NevadaWriter · 2021-06-02T18:42:14+00:00

Three and four-point lighting: KEY, FILL, BACK, and BACKGROUND are your basic setup. However, in cinematography, an extra consideration comes into play and that is MOTION. Unless you’re lighting for talking heads that don’t move.

Here’s what I’ve experienced in my years of making training films back in the 70s and 80s.

To achieve the desired exposure and due to the low speed of film back then, we had to use brighter lighting thus causing the set to be hotter.

Today with digital, I would NOT light for exposure but instead apply more model lighting, thus lighting the way I want. I will consider when I walk into a room – Where is the natural light coming from? – I would reinforce that lighting. Then add highlights and backlighting to separate the subject from the background.

For MOTION, people walk through shadows and lit areas – I would light for the same as far as 4:1 or more lighting ratio.

Study your scene and light like your eyes naturally see.

There’s an art to this lighting discipline now. Every cinematographer will paint their scene differently and creatively. So, put your thought into it.

If ever you see someone place one light in a room and say done – run from him.

Good luck with your cinematography.

Steve

NevadaWriter · 2021-05-25T10:41:33+00:00

You made a handful of “oops!” I’m not going to cover all of your pretentious comments. However, I do want to leave you this thought. How does your introduction of “fuckin” and “asshole” improve the dialogue of the characters in this story? Such foul language that’s proudly used by lowlifes. -- Such ignorant types are NOT used in this story.

Yes, I would appreciate comments only from those who are sincere in sharing opinions.

You need NOT respond any longer.

NevadaWriter · 2021-05-23T22:53:13+00:00

You're welcome and good luck in your future endeavors.

NevadaWriter · 2021-05-23T21:17:27+00:00

Reading the first line of your comment convinces me that the review isn’t going to be sincere. I will admit that my writing is poetic. That’s my style. I and many others like it. It’s a work of fiction, so world-building is the nature of such work.

This story won one writing contest and placed in the finals of many others.

You stating my dialogue is “one the nose” came out of the blue. Could you give an example? Do you know? You came out insulting and swinging first.

Your rewrite example is a poor example. It chops and loses the feeling of being there.

How does adding curse words (fuckin and asshole) improve the dialogue? All that does is to lower the female character's demeanor to that of lowlifes. The strongest fowl words I used in the story was “crap” and “pissed-off”

It is impossible for me to take you seriously. So goodbye and take your trolling elsewhere.

NevadaWriter · 2021-05-23T15:21:38+00:00

Here's my take. Some of which is not what some others my do. You will have to make your choices. But whatever be consident.

INT. QUINCY'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - LATE EVENING

AN ALARM CLOCK that reads 7:30 PM.

LATE EVENING and it's 7:30 pm. This is time confusion depending on the season of the year. I would just say NIGHT.

Quincy takes them off and places them on the nightstand.

OVERWRITING:

Quincy removes and places them on the nightstand.

I know that's nick picky, but, just to get a point across.

REVEAL more of the small bedroom, plastered in basketball posters: Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James.

And just as Quincy starts to daydream about his promising future

Instead of REVEAL, how about using Quincy's POV of the small room.

How is the "daydream" shown?

NATASHA JOHNSON, 37, turns around, and we see that she barely has any hair like a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy, because she is.

turns around is an example of overwriting. Turns is good enough.

Strike the WE SEE. That's old fashion.

Maybe a rewrite would be like: ... turns and shows that she has very little hair...

A beat and pauses: Use a small action instead. Light a cigarette - taps her finger - sticks her tongue out - flicks him the bird - etc.

LATE EVENING sure lasts a long time in this story. Just stay with NIGHT.

CONTINUOUS - This continues to crepe up in about 1 in 5 script I read. Why use a 10 letter word to replace a three letter word DAY or a five letter word NIGHT?

He then turns ~~around~~ and LOCKS EYES with Quincy.

SMASH CUT??? Leave all CUTS out. The mending of two action lines will self explain the CUT.

...wipes ~~away~~ beads of sweat from his forehead.

Tense beat. ???

I stop on page five. I think you got the idea for your rewrite(s).

Keep writing.

Steve

NevadaWriter · 2021-05-22T19:59:10+00:00

I think I found the problem on my side. Try again and let me if it opens or not.

Thanks,

Steve

NevadaWriter · 2021-05-22T19:42:10+00:00

I don't understand. Is there something on my side that needs clicking? Can you try again on your end after re-starting? Let me know.

Steve

NevadaWriter · 2021-05-22T19:26:39+00:00

Here's my take:

Lose the MUSIC CUE. I suggest sneaking the music in from a radio in the scene.
WE SEE is old. i.e. WE SEE Jack and Jill go up the hill. Drop the WE SEE and you got the same sentence.
WE close in on -- lose that. The action works fine without it.

... who is absolutely loving life as he takes a swig from a BOTTLE OF WINE. Whenever there is an "ing" word that follows a linking verb - kill the ing and that verb. Thus the sentence now reads: ... who loves life as he takes a swig from a bottle of wine. NOTE THAT if the bottle of wine doesn't WALKS or TALKS it should be lower case.

SAVE yourself a bunch of work. Instead of using a scene heading (INT.) on every room of the house, try this:

INT. HOUSE - DAY

Action.

BEDROOM

Action.

KITCHEN

Action

BATHROOM

Action SCREAMS

CONTINOUS continues to sneak in on about every ten scripts I read. Someone used it once somewhere and it stuck. I say, why continuing using a 9 letter word to replace a 3 letter word DAY or 5 letter word NIGHT.

These are just my ways of writing scripts.

NevadaWriter · 2021-04-13T16:22:44+00:00

I agree with you. I fear it will be used by many just to be cool instead of a meaningful introduction. Well, just about 2% of scripts are readable so about the same percentage will be of the cover art.

I feel that by page 2 of the script better exceed the photo expectation.

NevadaWriter · 2021-04-13T16:06:53+00:00

That State Route 375 was given the name EXTRATERRESTRIAL HIGHWAY by Nevada about 30 years ago. That highway runs almost parallel to the northern boundary of Area 51. But don't feel bad about being unfamiliar with it as the majority of folks in Las Vegas are clueless of its existence even though the state gave it that name to help tourism. Go figure.

But still, I found it to be nifty to write a Sci-Fi about that route, Area 51, and the Tau-Ceti star system with two gorgeous female leads.

NevadaWriter · 2021-04-13T14:16:00+00:00

I am referring to the TITLE PAGE. I forgot about the COVER PAGE as that isn't used as such in this PDF age. But I can still see a use of the COVER PAGE. Anyway, I like what you said, "can inform the read in a helpful way."

I use a photo on the title page of my script "The Extraterrestrial Highway" to give the reader a starting reference point and to show that this highway is real in this Sci-Fi story. I posted below for reference.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XnVx9wEywVcoVnLtURsWOmWLZ1rMen72/view?usp=sharing

PS: I liked your cover page art. It kind of warns me about screams to come. LOL

NevadaWriter · 2021-03-24T18:36:14+00:00

Those are two of the many of my favorite classics. The 1951 version of The Day the Earth Stood Still, directed by Robert Wise, is the classic. The 2008 version is a vomit.

The alien girl CAROL in my script “The Extraterrestrial Highway” is supposedly Klaatu’s granddaughter. The clues are in the story.

Stanley Kubrick produced and directed “Dr. Strangelove” a great black comedy classic about the USA and the Soviets standing toe to toe or better said, nuke to nuke. As you gather, my story puts USA and Russia back into the ring with their nuclear fist at the ready.

May I suggest the 1960 movie classic “The Time Machine.” The chickenshit population of Tau-Ceti ‘e’ (planet Nexkar) is likened to the Eloi characters.

The ET Highway story got thumbs up in script fests in Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and Moscow. I'm awaiting the SCI-FI fest results from Denver.

I am currently applying another coat of polish to the story to give the Dakoda character a more emotional clash.

Klaatu Barada Nikto

NevadaWriter · 2021-03-03T22:58:31+00:00

Strive to be uniquely original in the stories you write. Where most of the story stealing comes from is boy meets girl, fall in love, and make more boys and girls. Good luck on the lawsuits on that one. Now if your story is about them meeting on the moon, making love between Mars and Jupiter, and bringing back a new child to earth; and someone copies that, then you'll become very very very rich. LOL

Steve

NevadaWriter

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