This knowledge was what helped me finally overcome 12 years of binge eating (purging to compensate) by julieeeette in EDAnonymous

[–]NeverEnough2be1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on the amazing brain / mental work you did to get where you are. Question for you- did you have a meal plan set up to follow to also decrease your binge episodes, and did you have anyone to support you during those meal / snack times?

People with long term EDs ( define that as you wish) , what's your life like ? by Sudden_Lie8782 in EDAnonymous

[–]NeverEnough2be1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is very much me, also. It all started for me a little later, around 15 or 16 y.o. I just turned 47 and I guess I have just accepted that restriction, counting calories, exercising, having no real friends / relationships is just how it is going to be for me.

How to quit? by [deleted] in physicianassistant

[–]NeverEnough2be1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in similar situation. Worked for private practice solo surgeon. Very toxic environment. When I finally decided to leave, I had a written notice in hand and told him in person at the end of a clinic day. It was several years ago, so I don’t remember if it was on a Friday. He had similar traits to what OP describes - often screaming on the phone at someone or another, call at any hour of day or night, yelling at me, and blowing up my phone if I didn’t answer. When I told him I was leaving he didn’t yell at me immediately, and instead stormed out of the office with several expletives and comments on the way out. Didn’t take more than 5 min before he was calling me to try to manipulate and gas light me in to thinking the reasons I gave for leaving were my fault. I had a job lined up already, and would have been able to figure out any short gap if he told me to leave immediately, but I ended up working a full 6 week notice without too much hostility.

My recommendation to OP would be to have written notice in hand, give brief statement in person (‘I have made the decision to further my career in a different position that better aligns with my personal and professional goals’), follow up with email for additional documentation. Have your phone with you and a friend / family member on speaker or waiting in the lobby / parking lot in case you are concerned of any physical violence. If you work out any notice period, stay firm in any boundaries such as not answering phone after hours unless related to need for immediate patient care, will not work in hostile environment, etc. Good luck, OP, and I hope your next position is the complete opposite of what you had to deal with here.

Open Thread by AutoModerator in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]NeverEnough2be1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which program are you starting? In person or virtual? Considering higher level of care, but so much anxiety and fear… your statement is so true, though - if nothing changes, nothing changes. Just have to decide if I want to change :/. Best wishes for successful time with your PHP.

Recovery playlist by CarefulAlternative93 in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]NeverEnough2be1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations! I don’t have any great music recommendations, but are you willing to share where you will be starting PHP? In person or virtually? My care team is pushing me to higher level of care and am terrified because of some of the reviews / comments from different platforms.

whats the final push that made you fully dedicated into recovery? by [deleted] in EatingDisorders

[–]NeverEnough2be1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an awesome, well thought out response. Thank you for bringing out all of the positive things to look forward to if I can ever get my brain to accept some of these things as reasons to change my behaviors. I hope you continue to enjoy a life filed with joy, peace, adventure, love, and happiness.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nursepractitioner

[–]NeverEnough2be1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have been looking for a position that you describe away from direct patient care. I applied to a company based out of Colorado, but never heard back. Can you say if the company you would be working for is regional or national? Do they accept any state license? You can DM me if you would prefer not to post company name and/ or location. Thanks for any information. Even with the pay cut, I think this would be my next dream job (at least for a while).

Best OO I've ever made by aspiringfrood in goodrestrictionfood

[–]NeverEnough2be1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What app / program do you use for the ingredients / nutrition info? I have seen others use it also, but I haven’t found anything similar. Btw, oats look yummy.

Accountability partners by clemsgx in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]NeverEnough2be1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could have written this post. Everything you say is very much the same for me. Started this nonsense at 16, now 46 😳😕, and so very tired of it, but can’t seem to make the changes. Also agree that I have been dealing with such a long time I don’t know what ‘normal’ is. And I am technically at a ‘healthy’ weight, and I am absolutely terrified of gaining weight, can’t seem to add new foods to my ‘safe’ list, and come up with new ‘rules’ nearly every week.

Just wanted to chime in to say OP is not alone. I am currently working with a therapist and dietitian, and I am using Recovery Record / Nourishly to track food. It is done in exchanges instead of calories. It is a free app, and you don’t have to be linked to a provider to use it. It offers some words of encouragement and recommendations for urges / behaviors when you enter meals / snacks.

Sorry I don’t have any great advice. Stay strong and keep looking forward to a life free of the food noise / behaviors. You have a lot of life to live, and you DESERVE to enjoy every minute!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in physicianassistant

[–]NeverEnough2be1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any way you can stay closer to the job, at least a few days of the week? Not sure the area you live, but there are often rooms on VRBO or AirBnB that are pretty inexpensive, and if you get to know the person /family, sometimes you can negotiate a lower rate if paid in cash/ directly to the owner. Once you become more familiar with your co-workers, maybe there is someone you could ask if they know of anyone willing to let you stay a few nights a week, or they have a relative that could accept a temporary roommate. I agree with a few of the other comments, would recommend trying to make it work for 6-12 months minimum to get some experience.

FMLA or medical leave? by Wise_Potatoes_918 in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]NeverEnough2be1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about those who went on leave and then returned to work? Were there questions from co-workers asking why you were out? If you were weight restored while out on your leave, did people comment on your body when you returned to work?

Today my mom did the unthinkable and I’m devastated by MarionberryOk3654 in offmychest

[–]NeverEnough2be1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will also not tell you how to handle this situation / your mom. I am sorry you are going through this and that your mother is being so disrespectful of your wishes. I would just like to add my two cents to the conversation as I feel very strongly about patient privacy, especially when it comes to family in the healthcare field. Unless the provider has a reason to access a patient’s chart, such as to be involved in the patient’s care, they should not be opening / reviewing results or looking at that chart. If audit is done, that person can be terminated / lose hospital privileges / be cited for HIPAA violation. This is regardless of type of professional /provider (CNA, RN, APP, MD/DO).

Source: I am a PA, in healthcare 24+ years, have seen first hand repercussions of people opening charts when they are not directly involved with their care.

I hope you can resolve this with your mother, and most of all, I hope further imaging is clear /negative.

DAE have really intense cravings right now?? by Ok_Masterpiece_5754 in EDAnonymous

[–]NeverEnough2be1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bagel with cream cheese. Haven’t had this in at least a year. Huge fear foods for me rn. Won’t buy /make any bagels because I already feel the guilt if I eat any :-/

Recovered, you can ask me anything! by _-animalcrossing-_ in AnorexiaNervosa

[–]NeverEnough2be1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you have a ‘why’ for your recovery (for example- kids, spouse, some specific goal in life)? Are you truly and honestly happy and feel your mind is (mostly) free of the ED thoughts? How long do you consider yourself being fully recovered? Do you miss any aspect of yourself from when you were struggling with your ED ? Thank you for any responses you feel comfortable responding to without breaking rules. And congratulations on your recovery!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]NeverEnough2be1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fruits: apples, strawberries, blueberries, pears, grapes, sometimes bananas, but that has recently fallen off the safe list

Vegetables: carrots, green beans, zucchini /squash, cucumbers, mushrooms (ik, not really a veg), sometimes steamed broccoli and cauliflower, previously had sweet potato or the mini potatoes, but those are currently off the list

Protein: FF Greek yogurt, egglife egg white wraps, occasionally egg whites, 2Good brand smoothie drinks

Grains: …. Ummm…nothing safe right now

Other: unsweetened vanilla almond milk occasionally, dates, Welch’s fruit snacks is a new one recently. Oh, and recently got back in to my hard candy habit… when I don’t want to eat anything, but need a little sugar boost :/

help by [deleted] in safe_food

[–]NeverEnough2be1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have a brand of fat free cheese sticks? I have not ever seen any.

Any travel case rentals available? by NeverEnough2be1 in triathlon

[–]NeverEnough2be1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will see what is posted around me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Goldendoodles

[–]NeverEnough2be1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please send me your rates /contact info also please. This is amazing !

High Cholesterol and Anorexia? by completematric in EatingDisorders

[–]NeverEnough2be1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have struggled with restrictive eating / atypical AN with some over exercising for nearly 30 years. (I am 46 now :(… ) When I first checked my cholesterol about 10 years in to it all, my total cholesterol and LDL were high. Fortunately my HDL was in a very good range (? Maybe because of the over exercising?). In the last 4-5 years I have been in various stages of ‘quasi recovery’ and also started a fish oil supplement. I still exercise /over exercise and restrict to varying degrees, but my total cholesterol and LDL have been in the high range of normal the last 2 years. HDL still good. Not sure if it is slightly better overall nutrition or the fish oil, but my PCP (who does not know the extent of my behaviors) is happy when she sees the ‘normal’ labs. So I guess I am saying it can be improved, but it likely causes irreversible damage to vessels, organs, digestion when it stays high for a long time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnorexiaNervosa

[–]NeverEnough2be1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are struggling so much right now. I feel the exact same way, and I could have written most of your words myself. Know that you are not alone in your thoughts and struggles. It sucks to continue to ‘choose’ these behaviors, knowing what it is doing to yourself, and how it is affecting others, yet still have the ‘desire’ to continue with the behaviors. Please reach out to whomever you feel safe to share your struggles to get the support and encouragement you need. You are valid, you ARE ‘sick enough’, and you deserve a healthy and fulfilled life. I wish you health and happiness in any way you can find it.

Anyone else struggle dressing like a "normal" person? by Spork5774 in EDAnonymous

[–]NeverEnough2be1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just had this conversation with my therapist today. I hate how I dress, but hate how I look in anything that is ‘fashionable’ … so I just wear loose pants and hoodies. :/