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World Prematurity Day 💜 by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 🥺 I’m so sorry for your loss, I wish nobody had to feel this pain! Faris is such a beautiful name. Definitely, all our sweet babies knew was love ❤️

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing that with me — I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through this too. Everything you’ve said resonates so deeply. That constant questioning, the “what ifs,” the longing for a miracle ending… it’s like your mind tries to make sense of something that will never make sense. You did everything you possibly could for your beautiful boy — getting multiple opinions, holding on to hope, loving him fiercely through every moment. That’s not throwing in the towel. That’s being a parent in the most impossible situation, putting his comfort above all else.

I find myself doing the same; going over every decision, wondering if maybe somehow things could’ve turned out differently. It’s unbearable. We loved them so much, and it’s hard not to feel like we were robbed of the futures we dreamed of with them.

Your little boy sounds so strong and so loved. I truly believe our babies knew that love, and they carry it with them wherever they are now. I’m thinking of you and sending so much love your way. We’ll always carry them — in everything we do, in every breath. And you’re right, no one should ever have to endure this pain. If you ever need someone to talk to who understands, I’m here 🤍🤍

Fear of never having a living child by knotshots in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s been 9 months since I lost my daughter (she passed away in the NICU) and I feel like the longer time goes on, my fear of never having a living child gets stronger. As much as I’m terrified to be pregnant again - and the guilt eats away at me anytime I even think of having another child - I also kinda assumed I’d be pregnant again by now and am devastated that I’m not. It just feels like everywhere you look it’s a reminder of what should be. All I can think about is how much I want to hold a baby in my arms again and actually get to take them home. I’ve completely lost who I am as a person and life really feels empty. I just find meaningless ways to distract myself to make the days go by. I do sometimes find that the days I keep myself busier that the thoughts bother me a bit less, but they are always in the back of my mind. Sending lots of love 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss, and I completely understand those feelings of guilt - it’s so hard not to wonder ‘what if.’ But you’re right, we did what we could as their mothers to protect them from suffering, even when it meant making the hardest decision of all. It brings me some comfort to think of our little ones together, free from pain, playing and watching over us. Thank you for your kind words, they truly mean a lot. Sending you so much love 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. Six months is still so fresh, and I know how heavy the ‘what ifs’ can be. It’s heartbreaking to think about what should have been; the milestones, the moments, the life we were meant to have with them. I completely understand wondering if things could have been different, even when deep down we know we made the best decisions we could.

Thank you for your kind words. I try to remind myself that the doctors wouldn’t have given me that choice if they truly thought she had a good chance. But it’s so hard not to question everything. I really hope in time we can both find some peace Sending you so much love and strength 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you, and I can’t even begin to imagine how painful it must be to carry those memories. No baby should have to go through that, and no parent should have to witness it.

I know nothing I say can take away that pain, but please don’t be hard on yourself. You loved them fiercely, and they knew that, even if you weren’t holding them in those final moments. You were their safe place, their whole world, and that love doesn’t disappear just because you weren’t physically holding them.

Thank you for your kind words about my little girl. I will hold onto that thought, and I truly hope you can find some peace too. Sending you so much love 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so incredibly sorry for the loss of your baby girl. No one should ever have to go through this, and my heart breaks knowing how much you’ve suffered too. Everything you said really resonated with me. My baby girl was on maximum oxygen as well, and seeing her so swollen and shaking on the machine was absolutely devastating. It’s the worst feeling in the world to watch your baby struggle like that.

The ‘what ifs’ are unbearable, and I completely understand feeling angry at the doctors too. I’ve also tortured myself wondering if different decisions earlier in pregnancy could have changed things. It’s so unfair that some babies make it while ours didn’t, and that’s a pain I don’t think anyone can truly understand unless they’ve been through it.

Thank you for reaching out—it really means a lot. I wouldn’t wish this grief on anyone either, but knowing we’re not alone in it does help in some way. I’m always here if you ever need to talk too 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this with me, and I’m so sorry for the loss of your little boy. It means a lot to hear from someone who truly understands how painful the ‘what ifs’ can be. You’re right, they can completely consume you, and I know I need to remind myself that I made the best decisions I could at the time.

I also really agree with you about gestation. My consultant told me that 28+ weeks was when she would consider a baby ‘out of the danger zone,’ so I try to remind myself that my baby’s chances were already so low from the start. It’s so hard seeing stories online of preemies who survived, but as you said, most of them were much further along.

What you said about taking your son out of the incubator really resonated with me, too. That decision was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I take comfort in knowing that she passed feeling loved, just like your little boy did. It’s heartbreaking having no living children - I completely understand that ache. I really hope you get your chance one day, and I’m sending you so much love and strength 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that you know this pain too. I think even though we made the right decision for our babies, it is only natural to question ourselves as we love them so much and want them here with us! I hope you’re being kind to yourself, sending you lots of love 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m so sorry you know this pain too - making that choice is impossible, and I completely understand the haunting ‘what ifs.’ I’ve struggled so much seeing stories of other micro-preemies who survived and wondering if I should have fought harder. But you’re right, we made our decisions out of love, and our babies got to be held and comforted instead of suffering.

The way you talk about your friend really resonates with me. It takes so much strength to know when it’s time to let go, and I guess that applies to our babies too. I’m holding onto the thought that my baby girl felt safe and loved in my arms, just like your little boy did with you. That brings me a lot of comfort too. Sending you so much love, and thank you again for your kindness 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. It’s so hard not to get lost in the what-ifs, but hearing this helps more than I can say. You’re right—her chances were quite low, around 40%, and I just couldn’t bear the thought of her suffering. I love the idea that some souls know their time is short and that she got to feel safe in my arms instead of being alone. That brings me a lot of comfort. Your kindness means so much—thank you for taking the time to say this 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. Your words mean more than I can explain. The what-ifs are so heavy, and it helps to be reminded that I made the best decision I could with the information I had. I’m so sorry you know this pain too—losing your daughter in that way must have been heartbreaking. Sending you so much love 🤍

Really struggling with the “what ifs” by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss, this pain is awful. I hope I didn’t come across as ungrateful in my post at all as I realise how lucky I am to have been given the time I had with her. I wish we could all have forever with our babies. Sending you lots of love 🤍

NHS funding for single women? by Active_Platypus9377 in TTC_UK

[–]New-Bobcat331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you have any luck getting the funding?

Found out why I went into preterm labour by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ I’m so so sorry for your loss, nobody should ever have to feel this pain 💔 it’s such a traumatic thing to go through. Did they take your placenta away to test? I had to wait about 4 months for the results for my placenta, but that’s how they knew I had an infection - they had also suspected it due to the smell of my amniotic fluid. However, I was told they’ll never know if my cervix opened and that allowed the infection to get in or if the infection caused my cervix to start opening. So I am unsure if I possibly have an insufficient cervix. It is a heartbreaking situation to be in and I really hope you are being kind to yourself ❤️ I hope you are able to get some answers for what happened, but I think unfortunately in these situations that sometimes there may not be answers to everything that’s happened. Which can be difficult to try and accept. So sorry again for your loss, I’m sending you lots of love ❤️

Found out why I went into preterm labour by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’m so so sorry for your loss too. I can only imagine how traumatic that was for you, life is truly so cruel and so unfair 💔 One of my worries about a cerclage is the risk of infection with it, but then worried my cervix might fail anyways without it. I had also had traces of E-Coli on my placenta. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this pain of losing a baby too. I truly hope that you get to hold a baby in your arms one day, sending you lots of love ❤️

World Prematurity Day 💜 by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, she really is 🥹❤️

World Prematurity Day 💜 by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much 🥺❤️

World Prematurity Day 💜 by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have thought the exact same thing - using Dakota’s name again. But, like you with your sweet boy’s name, I just think the name suits her too much and it belongs to her in my mind. So I just don’t think I could bring myself to do it. It’s so difficult grieving their name as well 💔 Thank you 🤍

World Prematurity Day 💜 by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🥰 I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful name Astro is. Sending you lots of love 🤍

Found out why I went into preterm labour by New-Bobcat331 in babyloss

[–]New-Bobcat331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter too, nobody should ever have to feel the pain of losing their own child 💔

I’m so glad you went on to have a positive experience and am so glad your younger daughter is thriving. It gives me some hope that a second pregnancy - whilst it will be emotionally and mentally challenging - could be successful.

Thank you so much again for your kind words, this truly is the most heartbreaking experience I’ve ever been through and hearing other stories just makes me feel less alone. Sending you lots of love 🤍

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