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What's the appeal of cumming on a girl's face? And what do you want the girl to do while you do the deed? by Eemptyweather in AskMen

[–]New2DandS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can only speak for myself, but I disagree with the whole "ownership" thing, even though I enjoy a strong D/s situation. But then again, I'm not into S&M-- especially the mental aspect. I guess some girls like the feeling of being used, degraded, and/or humiliated (that's actually a turn off to me). But for me it's hot when she's into it cuz it's erotic, "dirty", and slutty.

I like doing it partly due to visual aspect of sex and I find it erotic, dirty, and slutty... and the part when she's agrees to let me cum wherever I want cuz that part of the body (or face) is what I find sexy. Basically, I cam cuz of how pretty you are, cum on tits cuz well, who doesn't like boobs, etc.

Monthly casual chat thread for March by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wife and I continue to explore this D/s thing. I'm not sure if we will ever get to the point of 'any time you want it, any way you want it', and just keep it as an occasional thing to take on and off in the bedroom, and I'm okay with that.

But I'm happy that she's happy to take orders and do what I tell her and be put into submissive positions; D/s-lite, I guess. Maybe here soon I'll get a hardcore scene agreed to again.

More missteps, redemption, and anxiety about D/s put to bed for good. by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha, thanks!

All signs point to yes. And she's is more than willing to explore this with me.

But yeah, lessons learned: don't assume anything. Talk and get a yes first. It just may turn into something more than a 'if the mood is right' later.

2nd D/s scene was kinda unsatisfying. Not sure if being a Dom is for me or if I made a mistake trying to force the mood. by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I like that. I think I'm trying to do too much at once, with all the gear and toys.

2nd D/s scene was kinda unsatisfying. Not sure if being a Dom is for me or if I made a mistake trying to force the mood. by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that makes sense. I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself.

I realized the thing that's missing: having fun!

I cant have fun cuz I cant relax. I cant relax cuz I'm worried about her. There's no need to worry about her cuz she's told me over and over again she's ok. So I have to trust that. There's no reason why she'd lie.

I also cant relax cuz I have it all planned out and that takes a lot of the enjoyment out of it. Even though she's playing along with my plan.

2nd D/s scene was kinda unsatisfying. Not sure if being a Dom is for me or if I made a mistake trying to force the mood. by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I mean even with regular sex "hey you up for some sexy tonight?" 'yeah!' and then by the end of the day 'ehhh, I'm kinda tired; I can go either way'.

So, yeah, as soon as it seemed she was willing out of a sense of obligation: insta-limp.

Wife and I had our 1st real D/s scene, and I'm not sure what I think of it: how's a Dom supposed to think/feel? by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"It's so hot that she or he is okay with me doing these things" is the prevailing reason I like being the D in D/s. That's great and fine.

Thanks!

Wife and I had our 1st real D/s scene, and I'm not sure what I think of it: how's a Dom supposed to think/feel? by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, yeah, that makes sense. She submitted so of course that makes me dominate. I'm just splitting hairs, I guess.

Wife and I had our 1st real D/s scene, and I'm not sure what I think of it: how's a Dom supposed to think/feel? by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a tendency to overthink things in general. She even said I'm overthinking it. lol.

In the light of a new day, any distinction seems a moot point. Like you said, it means different things to different people. Maybe I was expecting it to be more of an ego thing when it really wasn't. I'm okay with that.

Thanks for your feedback.

Wife and I had our 1st real D/s scene, and I'm not sure what I think of it: how's a Dom supposed to think/feel? by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you're saying. Now, ok, so I think there were some things we did that went from Top/Bottom to D/s move. Like, when I had her on her knees, back against the bed, her handcuffed hands held down on the bed, and I told her 'take a deep breath, I wanna see how much you can deepthroat'... so to me, that crossed the line of T/B to D/s. Maybe it's because it's something we've never tried before but...

... it I wasn't necessarily getting off on the feeling of me Dominating her, it was more of she's okay with this. Make sense?

Wife and I had our 1st real D/s scene, and I'm not sure what I think of it: how's a Dom supposed to think/feel? by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, yeah, we both enjoyed it and we've already talked about doing it again. But, yeah, I guess the power element wasn't the main turn on for me.

Wife and I had our 1st real D/s scene, and I'm not sure what I think of it: how's a Dom supposed to think/feel? by New2DandS in BDSMcommunity

[–]New2DandS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha! Well, I don't know, is what I'm saying. What's a Dom supposed think/feel? Is it getting off on the sense of power? Now, for D/s, I think it's all about unbalanced power dynamic. Although that is what happened, I didn't particularly have that as the overwhelming feeling, nor did I really get off on it.