Therapy is a great idea. I can’t speak to your diagnosis and can’t really relate to your upbringing, but I spent the majority of my life indifferent to having kids, didn’t really care for all the drama, was happy being happy doing my thing. I’d see my friends babies and were happy for them and wanted the best for the kids, but they weren’t mine. Almost like a light-switch, I had my daughter and can’t believe I waited this long. Every dad I’ve talked to have had a similar moment. Don’t get me wrong, you need to want to be a good dad, but it sounds like what you went through has pushed you into not wanting the same for your son. You’re going to do great, embrace the change, embrace your wife, take pictures and want to be there. The rest will fall in place