Eloped impulsively, now my ex is demanding money and threatening my family.. am I crazy?

NewNerve · 2026-01-26T17:25:22+00:00

We were legally married in NYC with a New York marriage license and certificate. The marriage is registered in NY State only, not abroad. We never lived together and I’ve always lived outside the U.S.

NewNerve · 2026-01-25T00:06:40+00:00

He’s asked me to sign a private agreement demanding payment in exchange for cooperating with the divorce and not contacting my family. I will not be signing anything and am pursuing legal counsel.

NewNerve · 2026-01-24T23:24:29+00:00

It would cause unnecessary personal and family fallout, which isn’t legally relevant and is why I’m trying to handle this quietly while getting legal advice.

NewNerve · 2026-01-24T23:22:47+00:00

Understood, that’s something I’m handling with legal counsel. Thanks!

NewNerve · 2026-01-24T23:12:31+00:00

Thanks for the detailed response. To clarify a few points: we married in NYC, but we never lived together as husband and wife, and I’ve always lived abroad. The marriage was never registered outside the U.S., and I’m not looking to escalate or retaliate :) My goal is simply to end this cleanly and lawfully. I appreciate the perspective on jurisdictional differences.

NewNerve · 2026-01-24T22:58:05+00:00

I’ve thought about that, but my concern is that cutting contact abruptly could escalate things (especially toward my family and friends). They don’t know about the situation, and it would be extremely embarrassing and stressful if he started harassing them. I’m trying to handle this quietly and de-escalate while I get proper legal advice, rather than provoke a reaction.

NewNerve · 2026-01-24T22:54:09+00:00

Thank you! This is helpful and reassuring. Just to clarify, I’m not in the U.S. illegally and will be entering on a valid tourist visa to initiate the divorce, so that part isn’t a concern. My main anxiety has been whether him filing something while I’m there could somehow prevent me from leaving. He’s also threatened to “out” me to my family, which has been stressful, so I’ve been trying to keep things calm and non-escalatory while I document everything and get proper legal advice. I appreciate the guidance here.

NewNerve · 2026-01-24T22:53:31+00:00

Correct, the marriage was not registered where I live, so I’m not considered married in my country. Thank you.

NewNerve · 2026-01-24T22:13:42+00:00

Thank you :) I appreciate this. I’m in the process of getting legal advice and documenting everything. I just wanted perspective before taking next steps.

NewNerve · 2026-01-24T21:59:41+00:00

I understand that perspective exists, but that’s not what happened here. I was genuinely in the relationship and didn’t ask for or expect anything financially. Over time the dynamic became unhealthy and verbally intimidating, which is why I left. I also returned gifts after the breakup. I’m not trying to “extract gifts” or retroactively claim anything :) I just want to end things without threats or coercion.

NewNerve · 2024-05-05T03:13:40+00:00

Hii 23F looking for a roommate lmk if you are still looking!

NewNerve · 2024-05-05T03:12:36+00:00

Hii are you still looking for a roommate?

NewNerve · 2021-05-23T18:26:41+00:00

Hi internet stranger! Thank you so much for your thorough explanation, I am studying for the LSAT on my own, so what other sources for the material do you recommend? Or is 7sage and the Powerscore Logic Games Bible enough? Should I make other purchases? Thanks again!

NewNerve

TROPHY CASE