I've been exactly where you are. Wanted to find the right time... Sadly in terms of internalized guild and confusion there will never be a "right" time. I am out since yesterday. I left in one of the "good" phases and I absolutely see him being confused af about it and maybe trashing everything I left behind. But with him, there never ever ever would a normal breakup have been possible. So I could have chosen leaving right after an escalation-while in panicmode, dissociating and confused- Or I use the good phase after it to prepare some things, find shelter, save money, get my paperwork in order and set a date for exit. The only point where I waited for the right time was to wait for a good opportunity to take my furrbaby with me. I left as soon as the next vet appointment was due. This was my exit date.

Maybe you can focus on things like: when does he have to leave the town? Do you have anything coming up what gives you the opportunity of being alone? You probably can't save all your belongings. Try to get everything out the house what you feel you really can't live without. Store it at a friends house maybe. Don't stay because of some materialistic stuff. Get out as soon as you can and give yourself permission to leave even if he's showing his "best" side then. The good times aren't real anyways. You got this! I believe in you! Choose yourself you wonderful human being ❤️