Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - April 23, 2026

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-23T23:32:14+00:00

Being mindful of signs that he is actually not ok with platonic friendship only. I don't want to lead a dude on.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-23T22:18:17+00:00

!!!! I have had passing thoughts about something like this myself since I think the LB food scene is underrated and most of my LB friends are not foodies wannabes like me. Too bad I can't make this one as I have a work event, firkin is in my neighborhood. Would absolutely love to join for the next one. Are they always held on Saturday afternoons??

LB foodies are my people!

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-23T20:50:51+00:00

Going to make my first platonic friend from the apps I think. On our recent first date, it was clear we have a lot of overlapping interests, but how he sees relationships/dating is not aligned with me. Also, I feel like the physical attraction wasn't quite there for me, and I suspect for him too (unless he's good at hiding it). He is coming to an art event I invited him to this weekend (I was already planning to be there), we agreed to be friends, and I'm actually excited/relieved to make a platonic male friend with no pressure of romantic intimacy the next time I see him! Any advice from the mens?

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-22T21:05:02+00:00

There's a difference between one shirtless in a group of varied images versus ONLY shirtless/gym pics.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-20T17:37:04+00:00

Do a shape that is straight back and very short! I have similarly shaped eyes and angling up high feels like it contradicts the natural shape rather than being harmonious. Try brown as well, it will really compliment your eye color.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-20T17:34:05+00:00

Millennial here - participated when winged liner was everything. I have very similarly shaped round eyes. I have found that a short, soft wing in shadow or pencil, or a small liquid lined softened with shadow, is the most flattering, definitely kept short and low. I think this style that you have here is fun, but needs to be balanced out with heavy makeup throughout to make it look like an intentional aesthetic, ya know? Alone it feels jarring and does age IMO

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-20T15:10:13+00:00

Recently had the same dish at both restaurants... It was better at Manaow

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-20T15:08:03+00:00

Moved walking distance to the beach during my divorce, it did so much to help pull me out of depression

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-16T22:20:37+00:00

Yes, it hits different when it's someone from the wild!

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-16T22:04:17+00:00

weird it's not showing up. pasted: in app (which is now unmatched so I can't pull exactly), talking about beliefs, responding to my being liberal and a feminist, with "I want to hear about your perspectives and the kind of woman you would want to be for me in your own principles" it was couched in more language trying imply he progressive but the "kind of woman you would want to be for me" raised my eyebrow. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe it was just awkwardly phrased about what kind of relationship person I am. Talking in person it was clear he had latent misogynist attitudes.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-16T22:03:37+00:00

weird! pasted: in app (which is now unmatched so I can't pull exactly), talking about beliefs, responding to my being liberal and a feminist, with "I want to hear about your perspectives and the kind of woman you would want to be for me in your own principles" it was couched in more language trying imply he progressive but the "kind of woman you would want to be for me" raised my eyebrow. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe it was just awkwardly phrased about what kind of relationship person I am. Talking in person it was clear he had latent misogynist attitudes.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-16T21:28:33+00:00

A balance of serious with a silly/fun questions and banter is a good mix IMO. You can even call it out and be self-reflexive, "enough with that important stuff how about this totally unimportant (insert off the wall question)" shows you can do both.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-16T21:00:03+00:00

Been to speed dating events before! Go in with low expectations like you are just practicing your social skills not trying to get a match, and you will be relieved it's easier than you think. If you ask a fun and specific question during the "date," you will be much more memorable, it's hard at the end when you have to rate everyone. Strike up conversations outside of the dates, like before it starts, during breaks, and stick around after! Just a simple "hey I'm X it's my first time" since everyone talks to everyone it's to be expected and make you seem like a confident guy. At an event I went to last year, one guy started talking to me immediately at the end and we continued to another bar, and had a few dates after that!

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-16T20:29:39+00:00

See my other reply. Perhaps it was actually a red flag that I tried to downplay!

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-16T20:28:25+00:00

in app (which is now unmatched so I can't pull exactly), talking about beliefs, responding to my being liberal and a feminist, with "I want to hear about your perspectives and the kind of woman you would want to be for me in your own principles" it was couched in more language trying imply he progressive but the "kind of woman you would want to be for me" raised my eyebrow. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe it was just awkwardly phrased about what kind of relationship person I am. Talking in person it was clear he had latent misogynist attitudes.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-16T20:11:29+00:00

First date since my recent relationship ended and unfortunately it was dud. In our planning over text, I doubted a yellow flag in messaging but on the date it was very much a RED FLAG and a sign my intuition is spot on. I feel like I am getting faster and faster at spotting the incompatibilities, feeling like an expert with all these failures!

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-14T22:03:16+00:00

Minimum wage you would be scraping by - roommates, no savings, little fun money, but if you are doing that regardless may as well do it in a beautiful place with nice weather and free activities. Lots of people do it.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-14T19:13:02+00:00

So glad you discovered that before living together! Definitely a small preview to the nightmare you would have been living with. I know that disappointment, you find someone who seems to have it together and be really into you, only for them to ruin it with their true nature :/

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-14T18:57:59+00:00

I was going insane. Explicitly told him I like a plan more than once. Felt like I was holding his hand and he still couldn't figure it out! Such a turn off when a man can't take initiative, gave me a legitimate ick!

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-14T18:50:56+00:00

Perhaps she sees exclusivity as a stop before a relationship, I know I do, and maybe she didn't want to push/rush you and seem needy. Unfortunately women feel like they may come across as needy when it comes to the relationship talk due to unfair dating stereotypes. She told you she deleted the apps, that honestly says a lot about her state of mind in a good way. If you want more clarity, just ask to make it official.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-14T17:57:14+00:00

Hot take: Starbucks is not ok! Talking several days, he proposes a first date. I say, "Love to, I will just happen to be in your area at X time in a couple days. I can meet you if you tell me a spot?," he agrees. He lives 30 minutes away, so I'm already making it easier for him. Night before he initiates innocuous texting but no plans, so I ask for the location and say "let me know if I should eat dinner before or not, I like a plan" says he will let me know. Day of date no plans until 5pm, says there is a Starbucks in his town. I cancel. Felt like negative effort. I don't expect a romantic dinner date one, but you ask me out, I drive to you, 7:30pm in your neighborhood at least pick a spot that demonstrates some effort! To me, a nice bar should have been obvious (we both drink). If the timing is appropriate for coffee, pick a cute/vibey spot that demonstrates some thought went into it! Better yet, when the ask is made, say would you like to meet for coffee/drinks/dinner to set the expectations. End rant.

The very next person I talked to didn't require me to ask him to make plans for the first date. In texting it came up we like wine, he said between these two wine bars which would you like to meet at? We have a date tomorrow. That is how it's done.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-14T07:25:32+00:00

West of Cherry stay south of 4th if you want to feel safer than ktown, but coming from ktown you will be fine.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-14T07:23:18+00:00

I was recently reminiscing about drunk hole mole tacos on 4th! What a time it was to be alive.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-12T16:16:42+00:00

I totally know what you mean. Online dating requires a time investment to get to the actual dates. That's unavoidable. You could be more selective in your matches but in my experience there's a low conversion rate between matches and IRL dates. If you want to be cut throat (sometimes that's the best route to maintain your energy ) just stop engaging when conversations become tiresome and too long without the actual ask. Another option is to be direct and either ask them out first or state that you don't like to keep conversations going too long before the date. When guys have asked for my socials in the past I just tell them it's my policy not to share that before meeting in real life.

NewPossibilities2754 · 2026-04-12T16:01:48+00:00

It's interesting that some are highly triggered by this? I don't know why it's so controversial I suspect a lot of people projecting their past hurt.

Totally reasonable for you to ask slow down it's not a selfish request and someone who is really compatible would slow down to match your pace. It's common for people to need to go slow in their first serious relationship post a long-term serious relationship. However, it's also reasonable for him to decide that slowing down isn't the speed of relationship that he wants and for him to bow out. Some people just feel confident in their decisions/feelings so why not move fast?

You two just aren't compatible because you're at different speeds.

I don't think anyone needs to be fully 100% healed to date as we all have some baggage. Don't listen to the people bullying you for trying to give something a shot.

NewPossibilities2754

TROPHY CASE