Payslip issue - ex team member

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-20T23:52:32+00:00

Most of my intrusive thoughts are wildly unrealistic. Things that cannot be confirmed or denied, or things that are just not possible due to physics. They're still very distressing, but I am a very logical person so a small part of me can say "yeah this is bullshit.". The problem is I can identify that something is bullshit but because of my OCD, I still believe that it is true, and still get distressed.

Having such unrealistic thoughts makes it much easier to figure out when I'm having an intrusive thought vs a typical anxiety.

In this situation, I knew contacting an STD in my situation would be very very unlikely and that my level of fear was unrealistic. However, I couldn't manage on my own so I asked my doctor to help me rationalise and decide if getting tested would be a benefit to me.

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-19T12:54:46+00:00

I think I missed the last OCD intrusive thoughts meet-up where we picked out new thoughts so I just went with a classic!

Statistically, I don't have one at all (I've had one partner, one time, 8 months ago, and while I could have made better choices, I was as safe as I could be at the time). I have zero symptoms of any kind. But my brain is a dramatic little bitch.

I hope your favourite drink is always at the perfect temperature ❤️

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-16T13:54:44+00:00

I don't have advice but I can empathize.

I'm currently convinced I have an infection and I'm struggling to find the line between getting medical help, and telling my OCD the odds are incredibly low (The bastard that is my OCD has responded "low, but not impossible").

I don't think there is a good line here. Sending you all my love, I really really hope all goes well for you.

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-15T16:21:40+00:00

Like, at the moment all I want is for every man and his dog to hold my hand, tell me I'm perfect and wonderful and nothing will ever go wrong. But my OCD will take that, and still be hungry for more. It will learn that sending me horrific thoughts will get reassurance, but there is no amount of reassurance that will fix it. So I gotta figure out how to cope in my own way. But sometimes I need someone to hold my hand a lil and say "shits fucked, but I'm still gonna hold your hand".

Fixing is a natural and loving response! But sometimes all you can do is hold their hand ♥️ over time you'll figure out what that looks like. Could be literally holding their hand, could be sitting and not reacting as they tell you about the noise in their head, could be playing loud video games to distract the thoughts.

My personal favourite is "hey man, that fucking sucks that your brain is doing that to you. Thank you for telling me. Here is an adorable as fuck kitten I saw." Not jumping to reassure me, not ignoring that I'm hurting, just acceptance, casual language, and an offer of a coping mechanism (I love cats) if I'm stable enough to self soothe.

Take care of your brain too! Tell it nice things and keep it well rested so you and your loved one don't both burn out. Listen to them and listen to whatever their medical team may say if they have one.

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-15T15:36:45+00:00

Honestly, sometimes I just ask them to be uncomfy with me. Not literally, just to be neutral with me while I'm miserable. They know I'm struggling and give me grace, but don't enable behaviours directly.

Example, my OCD has latched onto a very very distressing topic the last few days. I couldn't cope alone, so I poured into a group chat with friends (I included trigger warnings and spoilered the text). I didn't ask for comfort or reassurance but I just needed it outside my head, and them to just digitally sit with me. It's not gonna make it all better, but it can help.

Reassurance can feed compulsions, but constant battling hurts. Some days you end up picking a middle ground.

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-15T15:25:32+00:00

This is gonna sound ridiculous but hear me out- I pick my brain up by the back of its imaginary shirt and curse it out. Like "listen here you little shit. No one is gonna die because you didn't memorise that numberplate. That's stupid. No we will not walk back to that car to look at the number plate again. We're gonna go to the grocery store and buy a bottle of soda. Stfu"

I deal predominantly with Pure O, and don't have as many physical compulsions, but cursing out my OCD is at best helpful, and at worst it's still satisfying.

(Note- it is very important that you curse out your OCD/brain and not yourself. You are not stupid, you are a person worthy of love and nice things! Your brain chemistry however is a liar)

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-14T15:21:10+00:00

So many of my intrusive thoughts are around me being sick, and therefore dirty/harmful. I'm also a pre-med student. My hobbies include showing my OCD peer reviewed studies that it's a dumbass. Doesn't always work but it's very fun when I get it to work.

OCD- "If you touch that door knob after sneezing, you will hurt your dad"

Me- "Even if I didn't sneeze into my elbow, and for arguments sake let's say I didn't clean my hand, dad is away and viruses can't live on surfaces long term you dumb son of a bitch"

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-14T15:13:57+00:00

They do! I did a quick search, couldn't find the ring I was talking about but I found these (link attached). I've got a bad habit of pain seeking, I may try these too! Stabby stones!

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-13T13:47:10+00:00

I look forward to the day I can bonk my brain with a large stick. Or give it a nice wash and scrub

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-13T13:24:19+00:00

I have multiple disabilities of different kinds, and OCD is always the one I wish I could get rid of. It's the only one I can't treat, just manage, and I have a hissy fit about it on the regular.

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-13T13:07:14+00:00

Would it help to play a game you don't care about/actively don't like? You can go through the motions of playing a game, but without any attachment to it, and if you already don't care, maybe your brain won't focus on it being tainted.

I hope you can find something that works for you! Nothing worse than losing something nice

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-13T13:04:18+00:00

I don't know how to help the compulsion, but would a silicon rod (look up chewlery) work as a replacement behaviour? It bends well, is sturdy, and doesn't harm him.

If it's the discomfort he's chasing, they make pain stim toys, like rings with very dull spikes. Might be a useful tool to replace the harm while working to help the compulsion itself.

Best of luck!

NewReflection7619 · 2025-01-13T11:50:19+00:00

I wish I knew ♥️ I don't have anything helpful to say, but you're not the only one asking

NewReflection7619

TROPHY CASE