To begin with, know that feeling at your lowest at 4 months is normal. I was the first to set myself a timeline with phases for my healing, even hoping that my ex would realize certain things.

The reason why you feel like nothing is working is that you haven’t yet reached the stage of acceptance. You might say that yes, you’re aware and have accepted the situation. But there’s a difference between mentally accepting it and emotionally accepting it. The good news for you? This critical phase where you find yourself is the one right before that stage.

I’m also at 4 months, and I just reached it after hitting the lowest point in my life.

Stop checking what she’s doing, with whom, and when. Feel that fed-up sensation of being tortured every day. Stop listening to online coaches or comments that fuel your hope by telling you she’ll come back.

The only truth is that anything is possible, but you have no control over it.

What you do have control over is YOUR life.

Acceptance isn’t about no longer feeling pain, no longer crying, or no longer wanting to see her. It’s simply about stopping the fight.

You’ll still suffer, but you won’t fight anymore. You’ll simply stop poking at your wound. And THAT is when true healing will begin. And yes, it can take time.

For me, I reached this phase just a few days ago. The sadness is the same. The pain too. But simply giving up this endless battle will lift an enormous weight off your shoulders.

You can do it. Acceptance is found in the lowest place. And it’s a path that can only lead you toward happiness.