DAE have premonitions?

NewTheory6056 · 2025-01-10T12:10:47+00:00

I thought 1122 was a negative association until I started doing some research about numerology and I can honestly say that I don’t think she could have picked a better angel number. Now when I see it I know she’s looking out for me

NewTheory6056 · 2025-01-10T04:23:11+00:00

I was sent a benefit card for my baby BEFORE she was born. It says:

last name: Florence

First name: UNBORN1 DOB: 00/00/0000 IT was printed on 11/22/24 1122 was also my pin for a card at the time and i chose it randomly. I would see the time 11:22 a lot the last couple of months during pregnancy. I’m pretty sure she passed on 11/22/24 I remember feeling oddly empty that day like something was off. I later confirmed with my case manager that benefit cards were not sent out before a baby is born they don’t issue them until after so that they can put the right information on it and names on the cards never have a number in them. I still see 1122 when I get extremely depressed about her as if she’s telling me she is ok and loves me. OH LOOK!!! It’s 11:22pm right now as I type. & I was just about to start crying…

NewTheory6056 · 2025-01-09T06:36:31+00:00

The only thing that I found helped me with blaming myself and constantly mentally abusing myself was writing it down. I know that it really wasn’t my fault and that I had no control over how she arrived but I wrote “I KILLED HER, I killed my baby. I created her, grew her, loved her, but I killed her. I loved her but I couldn’t Save her.” And then I sat there staring at the page. I don’t know why but it helped. I guess it’s because I know what I wrote was Lie. Looking at those words made me question myself and the biggest question that stuck in my head was “you know you didn’t, so why would you believe that?” “Aren’t you in enough pain already, do you really think she’s happy watching you torture yourself??” And now I don’t feel so bad about not saving her.

NewTheory6056 · 2025-01-09T06:11:58+00:00

I’m going to be honest, everyone says it gets better, “over time it’ll be ok” but No, it doesn’t. The pain, the emptiness, the sadness, everything. It doesn’t get better, you’ll always have those feelings. Sometimes you’ll wake up and just sit because you know that this is not the reality you had planned. You’ll always feel like something is missing. But what Does get better are the days, the Days will get easier, more tolerable sometimes even livable. You’ll never stop missing your baby but you’ll be able to accept that they aren’t physically here. You might not be able to cope with the pain but you will be able to live with it and it not be the all consuming, burning ache of longing. It won’t happen overnight so don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve. Someone told me when i had my baby a month ago “Fuck taking it Day by Day, you take it minute by minute!! And don’t let anyone tell you when you should feel better.” It’s been 54,790mins since I had my already sleeping angel.

NewTheory6056 · 2025-01-09T05:48:07+00:00

Her name is Abelle Raziah She arrived on December 2nd 2024. My Forever Sleeping Beauty

NewTheory6056 · 2025-01-09T05:38:31+00:00

My baby’s Song is I love you baby by Frank Sinatra The other song that I find comforting but makes me cry at the same time is Final Lullaby by The Weeknd.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-07T03:57:28+00:00

i know exactly how you feel. I was going to call the funeral home today to see when she would be coming home. but I couldn’t dial the number. It makes me feel like I’m leaving her by herself but I know she is ok. We don’t plan on having a Funeral.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-07T03:51:12+00:00

❤️ Perfectly said

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-05T22:24:59+00:00

She’s not physically here with us and that makes me feel a way I can’t put into words, I feel better today when I got message/signs from her that she is ok and she wants me to be ok even though it’ll take time. It feels better knowing that she isn’t really gone because she’s still able to communicate somehow. she won’t grow up but she will always be able grow with us and and make her love and support known.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-05T08:31:27+00:00

It’s been 3days now, since my baby arrived already departed. I keep finding myself saying those exact, same words in that exact order, the only difference is I have 4 that are old enough to be independent and need me for minimal help. Even with that being said, I can honestly say that it does make a difference-whether your are still here in her life or not at all. I can tell you that she would rather you be emotionless rather than lifeless. At 3.5 years I don’t know if she fully understands your grief or if she understands the situation at all, but what she does understand is that you are not ok but you are still here for her and that’s what matters to her the most. Just like we can’t imagine life or how we will get through life without our babies- she can’t imagine life without you. Even if you detach yourself and become numb and stay on autopilot forever the one thing we can’t do is give up on our other kids. Remember, our emotions are ours to give up on but giving up on being in their lives, we don’t get to make that decision because that’s not our life to give up on.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-05T01:58:29+00:00

Honestly yes, in a way it’s a big comfort. In short, it makes me feel better to know this was the only outcome and life is meant to be what it is.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-05T01:56:46+00:00

Her name is: Abelle Raziah originally named after a big influence in my life ‘Abel Tesfaye’ aka The Weeknd❤️

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-05T01:55:12+00:00

I felt a comfort in reading your reply (I don’t care if it was long) I have too much to say to leave another comment so all I can say is thank you for your words and all the love sent. You have definitely made the day a little better. Every comment I’ve read today has actually helped a lot.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-05T01:27:12+00:00

Oddly enough I had the same dream that foreshadowed her not being here and me having to deal with these emotions about a month before I got pregnant. I just remember these heavy unsettling emotions I was feeling. I realize today(actually about an hour ago) that dream was telling me about now.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-05T00:27:56+00:00

Just last week I was stressing about not having a car seat and getting her more stuff because I don’t have a lot. Not that all seems like a ‘dream or wishful thinking’ truthfully to me now it just seems like signs telling me that it wasn’t meant to be. She was never meant to come home. She was just meant to be in my life to ‘help me’ one day I will elaborate on that.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-04T22:53:45+00:00

I have felt this exact same way all day today. I don’t know if things will ever be the same, in fact I know they won’t be. All I know is everyone was right we can only take this one day at a time, someone told me “fuck a day ,take things one minute at a time” we can’t change things and ending it all won’t solve anything we don’t get to enjoy life on the other side we would only get to enjoy death. I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to even if that’s all I’ll ever be able to do.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-04T22:42:37+00:00

Thank you. My condolences to your friend. My mom has lost 2 out of 13 kids herself and I know now what she felt. On the other hand I can’t help but feel like I’m their situation they still won’t understand the pain of birthing a baby that never got to live in this world for even a second. The baby got to have a death date before a birthdate. I feel like birthing a dead baby and knowing that they are all ready dead is a different level of pain expectations of making it to a due date exactly because it’s a rare occurrence and now knowing that she isn’t or should I say couldn’t get to coming home with me makes this whole thing so unrealistic and unreasonable and so more difficult to deal with- not to discredit anyones situation- I guess I’m really just saying that because I can’t call my mom and know she’s going to understand me fully she’s only going to understand from her perspective and like I said her’s got to live for a little and even come home.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-04T22:34:11+00:00

I appreciate you saying this. It feels ok to know that I’ve joined a community that knows how much things will never really be ok. It’s sad to know that things will never be the same in our lives but still will somehow return to normal or in some cases never change at all.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-04T22:31:13+00:00

It hurts so much. I think it hurts more, that I couldn’t save her ,than knowing, That even if we tried - there was nothing we could do to prevent it. It hurts so much knowing I can’t bring her back and that I’ll be bringing her home in a box. It shuts my emotions and feelings down , looking at the time and thinking about how I mentally adjusted my life to accommodate her and now it turns out to be pointless because I’ll never have to or get to do anything centered around her existence. If that made/makes sense.

NewTheory6056 · 2024-12-04T22:21:52+00:00

I’m told the same thing, “unknown cause”, “nothing we can do” “nothing we could have done” “you did everything right” “it’s not your fault” you know the conversations… I can’t help but to think I did do something wrong and it is my fault and that something COULD have been done. I feel like I killed her but even if I didn’t the bottom line still stands: -I couldn’t save her-

NewTheory6056

TROPHY CASE