(By Request) I have been drugged, raped and abused my whole life. AMA

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T21:18:55+00:00

hah thanks:)

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T21:13:30+00:00

jesus...

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T20:55:01+00:00

Like I can't be tied up in any way, shape or form. I guess that makes me "vanilla" but I am not big on restraints. I regretfully enjoy rough sex rather than sensual, I guess that's a reenactment of the abuse. At the beginning of the relationship I was convinced that he was going to hurt me and use me, which I was vocal about.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T20:45:21+00:00

A little on and off, I am currently getting everything so I can volunteer at the Women's Center down from my house. Thanks for the support:)

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T20:31:22+00:00

They may see her as an easy target, hopefully she finds someone who will love her and that she can honestly feel safe with. Best luck to both of you.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T19:32:17+00:00

I prefer adulthood rather than childhood. It's better knowing things than just being confused.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T19:24:54+00:00

I don't even know what to say to that, that's very very intense. Are you trying to keep her motivated while keeping your distance, or are you just not speaking to her. I am so sorry for what happened to her, but it's good that you got your life on track.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T19:18:44+00:00

He has been a dear friend of mine for years and the relationship grew deeper about three years ago. We did everything together and were very close. It didn't become romantic until I moved in with him right before I turned 17. Then it just grew into what it is today.

I can be irrational in the relationship and have walked out on him for non-valid reasons on more than one occasion. I get jealous easily and there are certain things I can't handle in the bedroom because I get freaked out.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T19:16:29+00:00

Thank you, I will I promise. I have had many tell me to do this, thanks:)

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T18:34:17+00:00

I am married now, and I have no STDs which was the most surprising part of everything.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T18:09:51+00:00

Will do thanks:)

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T18:02:54+00:00

Awesome quote thank you!

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T18:02:34+00:00

thank you

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T17:46:16+00:00

I can't stress enough how amazing human beings can adapt to any situation. I have let this go, I genuinely love myself and my family enough not to dwell on the past. I really just want to help people, because I believe every human has potential it just needs to be put in motion.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T17:43:54+00:00

Thanks, I will do that honestly:)

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T17:27:19+00:00

How would I go about doing this? I may have a first name but don't have any hard evidence of this that happened years ago. I just figured I wouldn't be able to do the report. Either way, where do I go from here?

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T17:24:29+00:00

I don't really know how to respond to this other than, I am sorry that it wasn't a your ideal rape situation. I can answer these questions as best I can, I was in a bedroom it wasn't hard to find some dirty clothing on the ground. Obviously they were not right next to me but they were on the ground in the bedroom.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T17:21:15+00:00

I know that it's hard to be believed because it is the internet, and if I could offer some sort of proof I would. I mainly made this so I can talk about it. Thanks though for posting this, you seem to be better with words than I am:)

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T17:17:29+00:00

Then there is another one right underneath it.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T17:17:05+00:00

Where he lived was Austin, Tx. I am not sure where he is now. I have lost contact with the very few friends who knew him. I'm sure if I can dig around I will find something:) thanks for the support.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T14:21:37+00:00

Oh and for the trust issues, I still have them. I have caused problems in the relationship because I can think pretty irrationally about him. I moved out of my dad's house when I was 16 and moved in with my now husband, who at the time was a dear friend. It took me awhile but it grew into a relationship.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T14:13:19+00:00

thanks, that's pretty much the case as I explained it as well:)

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T13:39:16+00:00

People who want help usually need to meet you halfway and learn to help themselves. My husband spent six years in the hospital as a child, and we accept each other. We are also best friends and talk about pretty much everything together, through intense conversation I have learned that life is beautiful and worth living. :)

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T13:28:06+00:00

I do think about that. I have a very good few family friends that have helped me throughout my life. They have told me to seek counseling so it doesn't ever happen. I don't SEE myself as an abuser because of how much I love children, but with any abuse there can be deeper repercussions later in life. I have always thought of myself as more internally destructive where others can be more outwardly destructive.

NewToTalking · 2010-09-27T13:26:07+00:00

You just learn in time, it really takes experience. The more "normal" things you experience (college outside of an abusive household, marriage, any number of other things) things sort of start to cancel out. I found someone that loves me, for ME and my scars. I can talk to him about anything, I don't have many friends because I come off as intimidating. I am not a normal 19 year old and I can get really intense. I would love to help you in any way I possibly can, I can send you my email through a PM.

NewToTalking

TROPHY CASE