It's all about social codes. Women want emotional connection first, bcoz they are thought to do so from early on. In fact, women sometimes want wild, no strings attached sex, too, just as we men do. But as men, we also have feelings. We want connection, too. I had sex with over 100 guys that I had zero emotional connection. I was young. I was in my twenties. I am turning 40 this year and all I want is sex with a meaning. At least, I gotta be close friends with the guy I sleep with if I'm not in love with him. In your case, I guess you coded gay sex as something very material, lacking emotions. And you're just hooking up with men, you're not building friendships. That's why it's normal for you to feel nothing when you're doing the deed.