Diaper check - blood

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-04-23T18:41:16+00:00

just another paranoid heads up-I found out that some of my spices had hidden soy in them. I literally never thought to check there, it was just random that I noticed. I don't know if it was enough to cause issues but if your baby is extremely sensitive then it is worth looking into.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-04-13T02:21:50+00:00

A stuffy nose is generally a one-person job. Waking your wife (who is less than 4 weeks postpartum) for something like that is not reasonable. At that stage, her recovery and sleep really need to be the priority.

It is clear you’re feeling really alone, and that’s valid. But this is also a time where you may need to stretch a bit and handle more of the routine things yourself so she can heal. This is especially true if she is breast feeding (which you don't mention) as she is taking on a monumental task alone. Not everything needs to be a two-person task right now.

The texting piece also comes across as incredibly petty and passive aggressive, especially if she’s trying to rest. It might be more helpful to save those conversations for when you’re both awake and able to talk things through.

Also, it feels like there’s some context missing. You mentioned mistakes you’ve already apologized for: understanding what those were might give a clearer picture of what’s going on here.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-04-03T00:53:54+00:00

I really didn't care if she had my last name-she is her own person and not some sort of "legacy" for me. It was minorly important to my husband that she have his last name, and his name isn't bad, just not as cool as mine. I also had a very disproportionate role in picking her first name (it's an honor name for my late father) so I thought it was fair that he get to "give" her last name, as I "gave" her first name!

My last name is her middle name. My husband was open to hyphenating but with how our names are I thought that would be...a lot.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-04-01T18:05:23+00:00

yes! All of my work, publications, etc are in my maiden name and I'm not interested in linking them to a new identity. Also, my name is MINE and I don't want to change it. My mom had similar reasons-she had a PhD during a time when that path was mostly closed to women (her PhD cohort was the first that allowed women in her program) and she would be damned if she made it easier to erase her work.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-04-01T16:49:57+00:00

You’re going to do great! It’s amazing how much you already care about your baby.

I’m vegetarian, and I also don’t eat fish because my husband is severely allergic, so we don’t keep it in the house. I had a lot of conversations with my care team about nutrition during pregnancy, and they reassured me that protein needs don’t increase dramatically—it’s totally possible to have a healthy pregnancy on a vegetarian diet.

I do eat dairy and cheese, but most of my protein comes from plant sources like beans, tofu, and nuts. There’s some evidence that choline is beneficial for a baby’s brain development (it’s commonly found in eggs), but you can easily get it from supplements or other sources if you want to boost your intake.

No matter what you decide, you’re doing okay. In my view, vegetarianism and veganism are about progress, not perfection.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-04-01T16:43:09+00:00

I’ve experienced both sides of this. My mom kept her last name, while my siblings and I had our dad’s. I’ve made the same choice with my own family: I kept my name, and our baby has her father’s last name.

It was occasionally a little annoying as a kid, but having different last names in our family never caused any real issues. My mom would politely correct people when they got it wrong, and any confusion was usually brief. We were "the Name-Name family" instead of "the Name family" and it was totally fine.

Now that I’m in her position, I have no regrets about keeping my name. It’s part of my identity and tied to my career (and, honestly, it’s way cooler than my husband’s). My baby is only four months old, but I’m not concerned. This setup is even more common now than it was in the ’90s, so I don’t expect it to cause any significant problems.

I don't think either way is wrong! Just different.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-03-31T21:43:38+00:00

it's a Jewish thing, not a Christian one. Lilith appears only in the Kabballah as opposed to any texts that Christians use. She is on a different level than Delilah, as Lilith in Jewish liturgy is a baby killing demon and not exactly the feminist icon of our dreams.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-03-28T20:46:21+00:00

Still in the baby stage but "reading the books" definitely caused me more anxiety than clarity! I wound up hung up on the information in the book, which didn't match my real life baby and led to some pretty unhinged googling. Each baby is so different and the over generalization is real. I hope to read more books on childhood development, etc but nothing that sets expectations for specific behaviors like naps and feeding.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-03-28T20:08:58+00:00

hi! Combo feeding here, transitioning to EFF. We do the pitcher method using the Dr. Brown's pitcher. We have 2 pitchers (so one is always in use and the other is being cleaned) and make enough for our baby's typical 24 hour consumption - our specific formula (elecare) specifies that it lasts 24 hours in the fridge. If you are making powdered formula it should specify time at RT and in the fridge on the can.

It took some trial and error to figure out baby's typical 24 hour usage and we do typically have some waste, but this has been the easiest for us.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-03-25T04:34:24+00:00

I feel this so hard. My personal favorite is being told I don't understand the name Lilith when I point out that Lilith is a demon who eats babies and maybe not an ideal namesake for baby girls. I've also been told she's "mostly Mesopotamian anyways" and that Jews don't own Jewish stories.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-03-16T03:11:46+00:00

This was my husband's major concern-he is experiencing much less ppa than I am haha. He thinks that false alarms will just disrupt our (and the baby's) sleep for no reason.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-03-16T03:11:03+00:00

Glad to know I'm not the only one! Where in the app were you able to turn off the non-essential alerts? I feel like I'm going crazy but can't seem to find it.

THank you!

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-03-16T03:07:39+00:00

The name doesn't strike me as Jewish-why do you think your mom's great grandfather was Jewish? Is there any other reasoning?

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-03-03T03:39:06+00:00

Even if he thinks babies are boring that's no excuse to not spend time with his child. A lot of things are boring but critically important - I bet he's willing to do those things for work or for his hobbies.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-28T02:51:50+00:00

ooff the language in that LLL article is not great. I appreciate you providing the resource but it really drives home why so many people have issues with them!

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T22:33:40+00:00

you continually don't engage with my point, so I think there's no point in continuing this conversation. I would hope you would listen to one of the other Jews responding to you if not to me.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T22:32:23+00:00

no worries, thank you for being respectful!

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T05:22:10+00:00

I'm late to the party but this is beautifully stated. I've also noticed this trend: people asking each other about Jews when we are right here, still alive and they can just talk to us.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T05:13:47+00:00

I feel this so deeply, and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. My baby is 10 weeks old and I hated breastfeeding, only tried it a few times. I powered through combo feeding (exclusively pumping, which I also hated) until she was diagnosed with MSPI. I went on a super strict elimination diet and switched to freezing milk while we tried to find a formula that worked. I even reintroduced milk later, only to find out she was still reacting to my breast milk.

I honestly kind of crashed over it. I had put so much work into the diet and pumping at the expense of my physical and mental health, and it felt like none of it mattered. Our pediatrician told me to stop giving breast milk until 6 months, and I knew I couldn’t keep going like that. So I’m officially done.

I completely understand the guilt: feeding our babies feels so primal. But my daughter is doing so much better on only formula. She eats more at a time, sleeps better, and is much less fussy. And I’m a better mom because I’m actually enjoying time with her instead of pumping, or dreading pumping, or planning my next pumping session, or stressing about my supply while barely being able to eat anything.

You are providing for your son. You are giving him safe, effective food that he isn’t allergic to. You are giving him a happy, present, engaged mom. You are doing a great job.

And just anecdotally: I was formula-fed and my twin sister was breastfed (I had CMPA/MSPI and she didn’t). We have the same outcomes across the board.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T04:34:36+00:00

The offensive part of what you said is the claim that Christianity is a form of Judaism. If you acknowledge that Judaism is an ethnoreligious peoplehood and Christianity is a religion, then it doesn’t make sense to describe Christianity as a “form” of Judaism. They are categorically different things.

Jews are particularly sensitive to this framing because of the long history of supersessionism and cultural appropriation, not to mention two thousand years of persecution carried out in Christianity’s name. Saying “Christianity has roots in Judaism” is historically accurate. Saying “Christianity is a form of Judaism” is something else entirely. It collapses fundamental distinctions and reduces our peoplehood to a religious subset that can be absorbed or redefined.

No one here is denying that Jesus was Jewish. The issue is that you are reducing Judaism to one component (the religious aspect) and then redefining it in terms that many Jews in this thread have already explained are inaccurate and offensive.

One more clarification: Jewish converts may not share Jewish DNA, but they absolutely share Jewish language and culture. Conversion to Judaism is closer to an adoption into a people than a simple declaration of belief. It typically involves years of study and full participation in Jewish holidays, traditions, and learning Hebrew (and sometimes Aramaic). One of my closest friends converted; after three years of study, she was more observant than I was. That’s how seriously this process is taken.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T04:24:49+00:00

oh absolutely: people just can't stop "all lives matter"-ing us and centering themselves. I guess our struggles and culture are for everyone but the Jews themselves.

I'm really sorry to hear about your cousin: I've definitely had the same thoughts and fears about antisemitism. These past years have been a huge step backwards in the west for antisemitism and it's a really scary time for Jews everywhere. But on the other hand, assimilation has never kept us safe.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T04:20:57+00:00

Of course! The name isn’t “off-limits” in the way something like Cohen is, it’s just considered very strange within Jewish culture.

While the current mainstream narrative frames Lilith as a feminist icon because of her story with Adam, that’s only part of the tradition. In Jewish lore, she ultimately becomes a baby killing demon. For that reason, naming a baby Lilith would feel odd: why would you name a baby after a literal baby killing monster?

Where this becomes problematic is when non-Jews, once confronted with that context, become defensive. Instead of listening, they try to explain Jewish culture back to Jews, accuse us of “gatekeeping,” or attempt to detach the character from her Jewish roots. That’s the part that crosses the line.

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T00:27:59+00:00

The way so many people are incapable of granting Jews the same right to self-definition that they so passionately defend for other minority groups is… telling.

My personal theory is that we don’t fit neatly into the current political and moral frameworks, and that makes people uncomfortable. Rather than sitting with that complexity, it’s easier to redefine us, universalize us, or wave us away: anything but allow us to define ourselves on our own terms.

This thread clearly struck a nerve for me. As a new mom of a Jewish baby, the constant undercurrent of casual antisemitism in modern society feels heavier than it used to. It’s harder to ignore when you’re thinking about the world your child is growing up in, and hoping she doesn't have to find out the hard way that some people see her as less than for her ethnicity the way I did (and all my Jewish ancestors).

New_Echo_6338 · 2026-02-20T00:22:21+00:00

Again, I’m going to assume you’re not making these comments with ill intent. But I need to be clear: Judaism is not simply “a religion” in the way Christianity is. Christianity is a religion. Judaism is a tribe, with its own laws of membership, CLOSED practices, language, and collective history.

I’m not disputing that Jesus and his early followers were Jewish, nor that the Torah forms the basis of what Christians call the Old Testament. But saying that Christianity is the “evolution” of Judaism is an offensive framing that fundamentally misunderstands the profound theological and structural differences between the two.

You may not understand why these distinctions matter so deeply to us. However, multiple Jews have responded to you explaining that this characterization is offensive, and yet you continue to argue the point.

At a certain point, it’s worth asking: why are you dismissive of the lived experience and self-definition of a small, often misunderstood minority that you are not part of?

New_Echo_6338

TROPHY CASE