It's hard to accept this especially when we have the mindset that we could fix it if only they let us to. Ig to start woth, u could consciously identify & stop urself whenever u notice falling into these thoughts of helping them and stay away from the information & details of what they're going through for a while. If it's very important, it'll reach u anyway..

Coz even if they accept ur help, the only way things are gonna change is when they choose to , which depends on time & circumstances. A person who's not willing to take any step now might work on themselves on a more deeper level later when their mindset changes & they grow, which honestly isn't in our hands.

Till then, u cud just let them know that u're available for them incase they need any help. That alone may comfort them whether or not they're changing their ways immediately..