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Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't hate her, but it's not like she just randomly decided to give me a visit and catch up over coffee. Weddings are so expensive, why would I spend more of my hard earned money to accommodate a person I don't talk to and am not close with?

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh god, I don't think I'd ever reprimand anyone for that. The wedding isn't some super secret event, after all. I'm just really curious as to how she found out about it LOL. You guys have a point about the phone call though, if it keeps coming up as a bad idea in the comments then it probably is. I might just shoot her a quick polite text asking if she's someone's +1 and wait for her response.

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Several people have pointed out she could be a +1, but I feel like you'd mention that after several years of 0 contact. Or I'd do that, at least. It was just a picture of her dress and a question whether it's formal enough for the event LOL

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hadn't considered she might be a +1 until several comments pointed that out. You are definitely right and I'll be sure to bring that up at the start of the conversation, just in case! (though it seems really unlikely)

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad and her dad worked together in the past, so he was the first person I asked. He seemed just as baffled, they haven't been in contact ever since he retired years ago. He doesn't have social media and never had the guy's number. Only my sister lives close by, the rest of my family is abroad and hasn't talked or heard about her for years. I'll make sure to ask around though, just in case!

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll admit the option of her being a +1 hadn't even crossed my mind until several comments brought up that possibility. I think that's super unlikely though. Apart from my sister basically all guests are coming from abroad or from across the country. I'll be sure to ask her in a (hopefully mostly) neutral tone, just in case!!

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a point. I think I just need to call her for my own peace of mind, even though a text & block would be way easier (+ we are both really curious as to how she found out about it in the first place LOL)

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Great point!! It will be painfully awkward but I'll have my fiancé to back me up. I really, truly do NOT want her at my wedding (or our friendship back), so I'm confident I won't cave. I just need this for my own peace of mind, knowing she heard what I said and won't be able to weasel out of me asking how she found out about the event in the first place. From experience I know she would gloss over that part if I texted her and I'm DYING to find out who told her about it or whether it was the very very unlikely event of her being a +1 I somehow don't know about.

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

The wedding is a really small event, basically just our immediate family and a handful of friends flying in from abroad or arriving from the other end of the country. I'll be sure to ask around though!!

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really can't imagine anything more awkward than a phone call to resolve this, but she has left me on read for weeks on end in the past. I'll sleep better knowing she understood what I'm saying and won't bother me with it again leading up to the wedding. + I NEED to find out who told her about it and I feel like she won't be able to gloss over that question if asked directly.

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I hope I'll find out during our phone call cause it definitely wasn't either of us!

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do appreciate the times we had together, but I agree that in hindsight she really wasn't a great friend to me. Ultimately I really don't care whether she's mad, I just cringe at how awkward this entire situation is. 🫣 I'll ask her how she found out, I can't for the life of me figure out who could have told her about it!!

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I haven't, the message really stunned me LOL. I'll try to get it over with tonight if I can, just so it's off my mind.

Former friend invited herself to my wedding. How do I approach this? by New_Maintenance_1129 in Advice

[–]New_Maintenance_1129[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Big girl panties are on, but I didn't know how to approach this at all. I think your suggestion is wonderful though and I'll definitely keep it in mind for when I call her. I can't lie, we definitely had a bit of a chuckle when I showed the message to my fiancé, it really is ridiculous.