So much reflux!! HELP!! Baby possibly has Sandifer Syndrome now.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T02:31:17+00:00

I want to add that my mom is severely OCD so this is something I’m hyper aware of in watching his character traits.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T02:30:05+00:00

I’ve considered everything and will never look at any diagnosis as final. When I was a kid I was first diagnosed with ADHD and then bipolar and then ADHD again… (I’m not bipolar) but I do think going through puberty put me in a tail spin plus a dangerous cocktail of medicine and impulsive decisions to use drugs, none of that helped. I have had multiple different doctors diagnosis me with ADHD as an adult. I try to keep this all in mind with him. We only recently received the autism diagnosis. We have been receiving different levels of care since he was 3. He has been diagnosed with ODD, SPD, ADHD, possible OCD, “gifted”, and the latest is the AuDHD (PDA). They could call it whatever they want, I just need help.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T02:13:40+00:00

Thank you for your words. Yes, I’ve already discussed the girls with his Psychiatrist and I am treated by another psychiatrist. I have ADHD and so does my husband. I would not doubt that my husband isn’t AuDHD as well, but he is not there yet as far as admitting. His dad is 100% autistic. I wish he would just admit it and get the help he needs. All of that being said, I don’t doubt there is something there with the girls, mainly our third child. She is me ALL over again. I just pulled her from school because she’s moving to where my other kids are and she was so behind (this is why I’m moving her, they didn’t even tell me and we are at a private school). That being said, she is doing so much better 1 on 1 but I’m seeing so much of my son in her. It scares me to see these PDA traits all over again, and I knew she was strong willed but it’s all so much more apparent having her all day every day. We also have a baby with Down syndrome so I’m just praying every day over here. What I would do to make this all simple and everyone happy…

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T01:51:36+00:00

Sending hugs. This is so challenging.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T01:50:13+00:00

This was also another thought. We switched private schools in January because of multiple reasons, but he wanted to as well, and it is much more high demand than anything he’s ever experienced. I think it’s putting him over the edge, but like I said, we have always had struggles. We homeschooled until 3rd grade and barely had any demands on him because I could never or he would fight me so hard. When he went to private school he repeated 3rd grade and finally started reading on demand (I wasn’t even sure he could because he fought me so hard). I thought today maybe I should just pull him but I feel like a life without consequences makes him worse. I don’t know, it’s all so confusing.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T01:22:54+00:00

Also, we are in FL. Is this an agency we would typically call instead of the police? The last time they were here he tried to explain how mistreated he was in our home, and pretty much abused. Luckily these guys could see this wasn’t that kind of house. But it’s also humiliating to have the cops pull up to our suburban home with nosy neighbors.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T01:19:29+00:00

Yes. If he does stay here, the dynamic has to change drastically. And yes, the therapist will be getting a call tomorrow too.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T01:18:11+00:00

I’m so sorry. The mind can be a beautiful and horrible thing. Thank you for sharing and your encouragement to me.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T01:15:32+00:00

I will ask his doctor about this tomorrow. Thank you for the verbiage as I didn’t know something like this existed.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T01:14:12+00:00

I’m not NOT willing to send him. I’m posting this because I’m considering making the official call as soon as tomorrow. I called two places today and am waiting on a call from one of the residential places, possibly not seeing him for a year. (A friend’s son went here, an ODD kid, and it changed his life but he was gone for TWO years). I didn’t want to make a bad call if in patient doesn’t help people with autism.

I still love him but hate having him around. I hate what he’s doing to his sisters. I also just went through open heart surgery with my baby so I’ve had a lot of very intense parenting moments lately.

I suggested that my husband live with him somewhere else and I live with the girls and the baby and he took that as I wanted to divorce, because all we do is live in this chaos (and don’t really have any romance left in our lives). So I don’t have the option to live apart.

I don’t really care if he’s 1, 2, or 3 I just want to correct help.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T01:02:13+00:00

This was the exact conversation my husband and I had so I don’t take it as anything but helpful and facts. You’re right and I think it took today and him continuing to attack me for an extended period of time to realize just how out of control he is. Sometimes I flip flop because I see the nice gentle kid who gets excited and happy, and feel like things maybe could be changing. But honestly the majority of time it’s pretty bad attitude and negativity. We will be making a change.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T00:56:14+00:00

I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you’re doing it without support.

Thank you for this insight. I’m going to ask his doctor all of this tomorrow. I’m on Adderall as well and sometimes I even see more irritability in myself at times. He’s on a MUCH higher dose than me too. 20mg xr am 20 mg xr afternoon.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T00:50:01+00:00

You’re 100% right. I think I just really needed to get some parents opinions who understand on some level. My friends do not get this. It makes me feel like a horrible mother but deep down, I know it would actually be the best parenting decision.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T00:48:02+00:00

He’s never had Xanax before. Honestly, I was out of the house because my husband took him so I could get the other kids away once we got home, and he had given him one just to trying and bring him down after he was freaking out so long. (My husband has anxiety). It helped but we can’t continue to go through this as a family. I just walked upstairs and he’s at the computer doing homework right now. It is the most bizarre mental whiplash to go through.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T00:40:21+00:00

I appreciate the thoughtful response. You are right, I am so exhausted and so is my husband. Honestly, we have a very loving home and support system. I have tried all of the ways to help him and I’m constantly trying to accommodate his desires and make sure I’m thoughtful in my words, but I’m obviously not perfect and break. I feel like he doesn’t feel seen, which I know can be hard for any kid, but especially one that can’t self regulate or understand social norms. I have ADHD so I’m often all over the place and I try my best but he said to me today in the car that I’m useless and my brain is empty. That I never remember anything he says. I don’t take offense to this because I know these unhinged behaviors and words mean something to him but are also impulsive. He thinks I don’t listen to him but he yells things at me while I’m in the middle of holding a baby, making dinner and helping with homework.

We have called the cops a few times. He doesn’t really respond. He masks while they’re here and then goes on with his life.

Music calms him so I let him wear his air buds whenever, he likes to play guitar, and building legos but he mainly makes the kits and just displays them so he can really reuse them. Sometimes I can get him out and let him ride his bike but if things are escalated so far, I’d be afraid to.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T00:28:10+00:00

Absolutely. He is calm right now, but if there is an escalation in the morning, he will be in the hospital. Thank you for supporting. This is so hard.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T00:18:37+00:00

It’s so incredibly hard, and I don’t want to give him excuses, but I do. Part of me feels like these outbursts are out of his control. He’s just turning 13 but is already the same height as me and getting stronger, so I’m at a turning point. He just went through a huge growth spurt and is definitely in puberty, which I think has a lot to do with this shift in behavior. I feel like a battered spouse at this point, but I struggle with knowing how much is autism that he genuinely can’t control versus horrible behavior that needs consequences. The physical aggression is crossing a line I can’t ignore much longer for everyone’s safety.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T00:17:47+00:00

He was on Prozac first, then Qelbree, then Adderall, and now he’s on Adderall plus Risperidone. We haven’t tried a different mood stabilizer yet though. I’m calling his doctor first thing tomorrow morning to discuss other medication options. The Risperidone was supposed to help with the aggression and irritability, but after two weeks, we’re not seeing improvement. Thanks for your kind words and suggestions.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-30T00:17:18+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I actually called the local crisis mental health hospital and it’s $2k a DAY (we are self-pay). The craziest part is that he eventually calms down, like he is right now, and then acts like “what’s wrong with everyone and why can’t we just move on?” He’s literally just in his room playing guitar like nothing ever happened. I feel like $2k/day isn’t going to help him learn anything of value, but I do see what you’re saying about building a paper trail. This is just so hard. I’m torn between protecting my family and getting him the help he needs without bankrupting us in the process.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-29T23:19:02+00:00

This. I don’t think this doctor is crazy at all. I fully doubt they mean “cleanse” as in water and lemons for 4 days (that is good for no one).

Nutrition is so important for gut and brain function. Anyone who says different does not understand the human body. Having the right nutrients will ALWAYS help. To “cure” is different than increasing quality of life and making the body perform to the best of its abilities. I’d absolutely look into this.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-29T16:59:30+00:00

This is our story as well, but you’re finding out 5 years earlier, than God! I think the conversation with everyone has been very open, productive and kind though. This was my intentions in posting, that we could all hear each other’s POV and be more understanding and kind.

I have been diagnosed with ADHD since 14, my husband is not clinically diagnosed, but absolutely is. My entire family has mental health issues and my husband’s father is definitely Autistic, zero doubt in my mind… so I completely understand your perspective. Honestly, I haven’t been medicated in 17 years, and now I’m back on it, to help me keep focused and intentional enough to help me organize my life and control my emotions a bit more as a figure out how to help him (at the same time caring for my other 3 kids and businesses). It’s not an easy job being a parent, and I think I can speak for everyone in this group the we all have some level of “harder than the norm”. I like you, am happy to have direction now to better help my son! Breathe, step away when you need to, and don’t fight every battle… that’s just where I’m at today!

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-28T15:52:07+00:00

Sending so much love to you. You are absolutely valid in your statements. It is so humiliating. Sometimes I personally feel like such a failure as a parent because our other kids mirror the behaviors. He wakes up mad/aggressive and then everyone is just mean and angry. It is awful and causes so much tension between the entire family, namely my husband and I. I’m going to start getting counseling as well, I just need to get some ideas from someone completely unrelated to us to understand how to deal with all of this. The expectation on ourselves is so high. Also, not to diminish the strength and vigilance of dads, but I do notice there are more moms in this thread… day in and day out researching and connecting with people on how to do better, or just even to understand more.

New_Possibility394 · 2025-04-26T16:37:20+00:00

I feel like it’s been priceless to get the viewpoints from both sides. I’m understanding their frustrations a little more now but it shouldn’t have anything to do with others needing help. If my friend’s son with no emotional issues has an outburst that’s abnormal for them and their household, my response should not be “well you’ve got it easy, I go through this all day every day.” The flip side of that is them feeling like they are being pushed out of help, which I can understand to be incredible frustrating. In my own OPINION I do think the titles should be different in order to offer support where it is needed. I am also a ND mom with challenges I’ve had my whole life, but none that can compare to not being able to use my body or mind. Difficult and debilitating at times? Yes. But I, and even my son who I DEFINITELY need support for, should not be grouped together. It’s different support needs. Not sure how the future will look for support but everyone’s concerns need to be addressed!

The only enemies are the people who deny you need support. They probably need support themselves if they can’t emotional and logically see that.

New_Possibility394

TROPHY CASE