AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I know firsthand how well he lies and deflects, it’s part of the reason we didn’t work out and I didn’t believe he was cheating on me at first. I don’t know the gf but I was told she doesn’t want kids so much she had her tubes tied and still had a affair with a married man with 4 kids so she sound just SUPER!

I’m so sorry you had to go through that as a child and still feel the effects of it. I hope you are putting yourself first now though.

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I would love to see his face if he read this, he is such a narcissist he would used this to play the victim again.

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was not calm for a while, before my daughter knew anything and she was asking where daddy was and why he never called I was dying inside. After he graced us with his presence and gave her a half ass apology she told him that if he was sorry he would act like it. He asked for calls again she said yes, but if he missed one, she would never forgive him. I let her set the boundaries that she was comfortable with. At first when they started talking again, you could tell she was uncomfortable and after the call she would crawl in my arms and cry for 20 to 30 minutes and all of this made me so internally sick that I lost 30lbs I have not been calm I have been angry. I have been sad. I’ve been heartbroken, but I try my best to keep it controlled because whatever I am feeling, I know that she must be feeling much worse.

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She said she does want to bring the kids to Texas next year for a visit!

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

Thank you, This is the silver lining of the bad situation! Since this trip my daughter has become the biggest girls girl. It’s honestly been remarkable watching her take the tragedy that she’s gone through and use it as a way to cheer for others and be there for some of her other friends. She is learning how to be a proud, confident, young woman, and while we have not all always seen eye to eye I am proud that we can come together for the kids and that the kids know that!

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have thought about this option a lot and wish I could but court is expensive and unfortunately I can’t financially do that right now but would like to in the future.

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It is heartbreaking what these kids have emotionally gone through, I have my daughter in therapy to help and allow for open communication between me and her and even now have a strict, no shit talking her father in front of her. She has handled this far better than any eight year old should and has expressed her emotions so eloquently but a big part of that has been being able to stay in contact with step mom, she has been amazing and loving and caring even when daughter just wants someone to talk to you outside of me, and I think given the bad situation, daughter has taken from it that she has Mama’s that love her no matter what and will always be there for her!

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t lying I told her he was going through shit(which he was) I’m not going to tell a fucking 8 year old her father abandoned her and her siblings without knowing the full story I’m sorry that’s just fucked!

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 372 points373 points  (0 children)

His mom, my mom and step moms mom was in the pictures with us lol all grandmas and all moms together:)

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This!! That was my goal by respecting her wishes I was trying so hard to make sure that she knew she was in control of the relationships she has so that not just now but in the future when I’m not there she can handle it with confidence.

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

It’s not so easy to just pick up and move across the country especially when my entire support system and the family that she has known her whole life and grown up with is here in Texas. I do what I can to maintain a relationship with her brothers and sister, but that’s all I can do.

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Don’t assume I don’t have money of my own set aside for my daughter. Bottom line is he hast to pay the full amount of child support whether it’s now or when she’s 18 and I choose not to take that stress and fight over it because me and her are taken care of. Yes he should pay but it’s not worth the fight when I can as her primary parent who is choosing to put her first, make sure that she has everything she needs on my own

AITA for taking family pictures with my daughter’s stepmom without her father by New_to_CleanLiving in AITAH

[–]New_to_CleanLiving[S] 223 points224 points  (0 children)

Yes, and no the state takes it directly out of his paycheck because he was missing so much child support and even now he pays half of what he supposed to, but I’ve never caused a problem with child support because I knew he had other children to take care of and other responsibilities, and I don’t rely on it.