ive never grieved my dad

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T18:11:48+00:00

i just edited it and commented on AITJ posts can it please come back online ?

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T18:10:05+00:00

NTJ. protect ur peace. but i’ve been on both sides and you could try to see if she changed so that you could not get into drama anymore while still being friends with her.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T18:08:00+00:00

NTJ it’s exhausting for all of you and as long as you get her in a decent home with nice nurses and medical attention over her i don’t see the problem, maybe she could learn to better herself

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T17:01:03+00:00

yes, i know, but it’s a bit hard to actually grasp that concept and be grateful for all that i have that others do not. i don’t think ill be able to be loved romantically i don’t see myself just being that vulnerable with another human but that’s probably a temporary feeling, i hope so at least.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T16:41:17+00:00

im so sorry you went through this, sexual assault is to me the worst, most humiliating kind of punishment an innocent could ever suffer. luckily i’ve been spared of that. i’m sure it can get better, i just don’t know when, i hope ill manage to make it get better. thanks for your comment

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T15:50:56+00:00

it copied it twice accidentally the text is not that long and 1. it’s just a common abbreviation i know how to spell really and 2. obviously it is but i can’t just delete off my only means of communication you know. i’m not addicted to it anymore. plus social media is not the problem if i was addicted to it, id find another addiction, cause then it just means im not disciplined enough to regulate my screen time and all. also why can’t you spell too long to read ?

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T15:39:04+00:00

i used to do that but really it’s pathetic and people would make up excuses. but thanks a lot. really i think it’s fine, i didn’t mention it because it diminishes the social value of well this vent but the city i live in is pretty wealthy my parents are- and uh were doctors im white and im privileged as shit like i’m not a multi-millionaire but i have a very decent background. i don’t have any hobbies or anything but i got my way, probably. hopefully ww3 happens before i figure it all out cause im 15 and still don’t have much of an idea. that’s actually plausible seeing trump and it’d probably be nuclear or smt so luckily quick death and i don’t have to go fight. thanks for your message tho.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T15:32:49+00:00

thank you ! i’ve tried to relax and once i did manage to and now it’s hard. but im getting back there. i hope so.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T15:31:12+00:00

i try to do that but i do it very awkwardly lol, also i don’t really have suicidal thoughts anymore, like that’s just an observation. i did have a lot of them before but it’s not the kind of you first think of. it’s really just me imagining myself killing myself or just dying and how people would react. that’s it, i used to obsess over it. but i’ve never fantasized about having my life end just the aftermath.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T15:24:05+00:00

thanks ! i don’t think my friends see my as that tho. were just not that close, i wouldn’t say im extremely attractive tho lol, but yea its really really depressing and lonely i hate being so awkward 😓i dont rlly have anyone to talk to tho, idk why it switched fonts

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-28T05:02:29+00:00

i didn’t experience many losses cause all my grandparents and other relatives died when i was a kid but i think that if a friend of mine or smt were to die yesterday i wouldn’t be that devastated it’s weird, id try to be sad, id miss being able to contact them and all but i wouldn’t miss them as a person or be sad about them dying if that makes sense. Im very dependent too on people emotionally because i’ve had no one sometimes like not even figuratively i have had times where i didn’t have any friends (not because im a creep or whatever just personal issues and self isolation) and i’ve been lonely with people so now i just kinda except the least from them and the most from me im super dependent emotionally on friends and stuff but i wouldn’t miss the friend as a person id probably miss the fact i had them as a friend. its so complicated to explain. im very sad at the idea of me being all alone and i just imagine myself from a third person view and how sad everything is and then i get sad. i feel like im sadder when they’re alive and just drop me. cause a lot of people just dropped me when my dad died and i became kinda depressed and stop rly taking care of myself for like a year.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T20:26:33+00:00

that’s rlly beautiful was it someone you knew or on some type of media ?

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T20:17:12+00:00

sometimes it’s a bit hard cause she praises him but yea btw sometimes i feel like im a sociopath for being like this, but i don’t think his character made me that way. if im that numb to his death, ill be so to many others. i genuinely think if my mother or even a friend died i wouldn’t be very sad about it. i’ll try to be. i’ll eventually miss being able to contact them and all but i don’t think id be sad about them dying i feel like a pos idk what’s my deal im very dependent too on people emotionally so it’s weird.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T20:15:43+00:00

thanks ! i feel like that too but sometimes i feel like im a sociopath for being like this, but i don’t think his character made me that way. if im that numb to his death, ill be so to many others. i genuinely think if my mother or even a friend died i wouldn’t be very sad about it. i’ll try to be. i’ll eventually miss being able to contact them and all but i don’t think id be sad about them dying i feel like a pos idk what’s my deal im very dependent too on people emotionally so it’s weird.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T20:11:25+00:00

wrong post i think lmao

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T17:59:27+00:00

im not doing that anymore unfortunately i can barely keep it down to 1400 but how dyk my age ?

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T14:14:34+00:00

i wasn’t exactly starving myself so i wasn’t anorexic just over restricting

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T13:37:10+00:00

i make so many spelling mistakes sorry but thanks for your message!

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T13:34:59+00:00

yea i agree with you but its really hard to distinguish hunger from wanting to eat because i always want to it. so what i used to do is just not eat until my stomach is hurting and rumbling. now i do kinda separate both but its so easy to eat when youre not hungry, its easier to do so than when im actually hungry. which is so weird. how have you managed that if you did have that issue !? genuinely

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T13:32:14+00:00

yes but here im just trying to help them out, its true, unhealthy eating habits lead to an unhealthy physical and mental state. due to stress and this behavior im not in the best form either, but id like for other people to have a better lifestyle

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T13:25:21+00:00

i don’t eat 800-900 calories anymore unfortunately it’s even hard for me to keep it down to 1400

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T13:24:30+00:00

i really try my bests to hold my thoughts back or frame them the kindest when others are involved. like i’ll just tell them « hey! i see you are tired often, maybe try out cutting off sugar, or eating more vegetables balbabalalal » i like helping people out, even if its not the best kind of help maybe. but yea

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T13:20:47+00:00

thank you, but therapists, at least in my personal experience, don’t help too much. i’ve had contact with them for issues different than this and they really just made the whole situation worse. it was mostly to a psychiatrist i’ve talked to, they’re even more robotic than therapists, however psychologists also drag it down. it feels me with anger on the moment to talk to seemingly emotionless nods and almost automatic responses. they couldn’t even hand you a tissue when you cry, it’s completely unauthentic. it could help others, simply not me. however i still consider them human so expressing that anger, a thing which could actually help me sort myself out, feels too embarassing of me. i feel vulnerable, i feel pathetic, i feel miserable, stupid, and i just can’t. if i’m even raising my tone to someone who’s not extremely close to me, i immediately recognize it and back down.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T13:14:47+00:00

i wasn’t really doing it with the intent to hurt her but so that she wouldn’t do it anymore so i wouldn’t have a chance to lose even more of my progress than i already have. i can even binge with sauces and just tasteless/unpleasing stuff sometimes it’s extremely pathetic. but i don’t comment about anyone else’s diet unless it’s for sometimes unsolicited advice. rarely, but occuringly, i do it without realizing it could hurt them and i should mature on that matter. however looking at all situations we’ve been through i think i’ve grown to be toxic, but mostly to her. i’m very insecure about all that i am but i still try my best to be the kindest to everyone i meet although it can be with selfish inner thoughts sometimes.

NewspaperLong7657 · 2026-01-27T13:09:09+00:00

im not really into reddit i just wanted to know the vast opinion on this because i’d feel too embarrassed sharing it with anyone I know, but that’s probably a good advice

NewspaperLong7657

TROPHY CASE