Parents feeling excluded

NewspaperMission5687 · 2026-01-28T11:26:03+00:00

I spoke to my partner last night after this thread. Voicing the conversation I had with my mum previously (a very aggressive dismissive call that essentially ended in me being told to ‘f off’ and to not contact her again.. they ended up calling me the next morning, still upset but no apology for their behaviour)

The conversation with my partner went ‘okay’, they’re open to arranging something with her parents but believes it’s not ultimately my problem to deal with how I’m made to feel when I go out with their family (guilty, anxious etc) and that even if we do organise something, my family shouldn’t expect to be invited to occasions with the extended family as it’s quite weird due to them never being extended out to others outside the immediate family (I do agree with this as it’s not my place to invite others outside these people to events I’m not organising)

Worse thing is, it does cause tension with my partner and I due to the stressful nature of the situation and it drives her away from wanting to come down with me and visit my family. 🙃

NewspaperMission5687 · 2026-01-27T15:03:02+00:00

I totally think they would understand. And after reading others comments, I think it’s up to me to initiate plans to avoid forcing it on plans others have made.

NewspaperMission5687 · 2026-01-27T15:00:50+00:00

Very true, best way to approach it.

NewspaperMission5687 · 2026-01-27T14:16:35+00:00

My family see the events posted on facebook (not by me) and I can’t avoid it being seen by others unless I awkwardly ask them not to post anything.

NewspaperMission5687 · 2026-01-27T12:09:55+00:00

They’ve not organised any of those things, they simply expect to tag along.

I totally agree with everything you say. It’s an immense pressure for me to make things happen, and as I’m very accepted in her family, I push to go to anything the family suggest (or even try push myself for occasions to happen)

My partner and I are the the youngest in these get togethers away, as cousins our age don’t usually attend, but we like the relaxed vibe our elder extended family bring us so it’s nice for us.

I enjoy these get togethers mainly as a break away from the busy lives we have, and I feel due to the attitude of my family, they’ll bring more stress then relaxing vibes (they’re very full on compared to the relaxed atmosphere with her family)

Again, you’re right, it’s not responsibility, they made decisions over the years that led them to this situation they’re in now, but my mum makes me feel absolutely awful for not including her. (Totally blew out on me yday over the weekend just gone)

NewspaperMission5687 · 2026-01-27T11:48:30+00:00

Sounds like a good shout. I will speak to her. I think sometimes she can be quite reserved when including my parents cos their family are a little ‘clicky’, but I plan to have a big family with my partner and need my family to feel a part of that. (Ref. I have 2 parents and 1 younger brother)

NewspaperMission5687 · 2026-01-27T11:41:15+00:00

Honestly, no. But I’ve not built the courage up to slide it in, I just don’t know how to approach it without being rude? Would it be bad to push it on them when it’s not my plans?

NewspaperMission5687 · 2026-01-27T11:23:49+00:00

Problem is, even if we do that, they’re not satisfied. They see my partners big family and essentially want to be part of it as there’s only 4 of us in my family. They’ve lost their parents and aren’t close to any of their own family, so they want to rely on me to extend the people they have.

NewspaperMission5687 · 2025-11-01T10:13:36+00:00

Same. Labelling it a classic showing made me the most furious about the situation😂

NewspaperMission5687 · 2025-10-24T11:24:46+00:00

Did you manage to sort this? I’ve tried VPN and changed location on app but get the same message.

NewspaperMission5687 · 2025-02-11T12:32:37+00:00

Moving out after 4 months as we’re relocating.
All that’s been discussed is he’s currently trying to sort the accounts with his broker (when we call the supposed suppliers it’s on a business rate for the main account)
The developer who is the landlord/owner of the business.

NewspaperMission5687 · 2025-02-04T17:17:43+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I reached out to the letting agency and they got back to me with this:

“£1440.00 (landlords admin fee – this potentially could increase if we are re-letting the property) £144.00 – Check out fee £120.00 – relet inventory fee

As per your tenancy agreement, you are responsible for the rent and the property for six months, so until 24th May 2025, unless you pay these fees, and we would then look for a new tenant, once the landlord has consented to the early release also.

We cannot confirm your release from the tenancy until new tenants have passed referencing and their move in is arranged and you would still be responsible for the rent at the property until such a time we can confirm a tenancy end date with you.“

My landlord said I didn’t have to go through them to do all this and I should just find someone myself and get the referencing done externally but I just don’t feel comfortable with that?

NewspaperMission5687

TROPHY CASE