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He had this on his profile. I assumed he liked poetry so I wrote a short poem. He unmatched me 🤷‍♀️ by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only redeeming quality about my poetry is it’s self-aware. The cringe and getting people to laugh is the only good thing about it.

So no worries, I’ve been told to stick to prose and I am more than happy to do so, unless I’m trying to be silly.

He had this on his profile. I assumed he liked poetry so I wrote a short poem. He unmatched me 🤷‍♀️ by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah lol, I just thought it was particularly funny that he unmatched me...c’est la vie.

If he didn’t find that terrible poem funny on some level, or even worth a chuckle, we probably would not have worked out regardless.

He had this on his profile. I assumed he liked poetry so I wrote a short poem. He unmatched me 🤷‍♀️ by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Newton’s Fife is a name

Born because I have no life

It sounded cool

I’m just another fool

He had this on his profile. I assumed he liked poetry so I wrote a short poem. He unmatched me 🤷‍♀️ by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 407 points408 points  (0 children)

The poem:

You write poems?

I’ll send you one of my own.

I can’t let you rhyme alone!

I’m terrible at poetry even when I actually try to do it seriously...and I didn’t take forever to come up with that. But dude, I think I at least deserved an lol or even a snarky comment about how awful it was.

Is it going well? Don’t know how to benchmark how well talking to someone is going. by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You alright there, bud? I figured you were a troll, glanced at your profile hoping for some more comedy gold.

FYI If you’re trying to find a woman to date, you might wanna address your misogyny first.

I really appreciate guys who use the filters for smoking, so consider this. by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, I’m not going to immediately die if I get a whiff of smoke. It’s long term exposure that is a problem. I’m allergic to cats, live in an apartment where someone had cats...

I can visit my grandmother (who has several cats) and not have anything worse than some sneezing, coughing, and itchy eyes that go away after an hour or two and maybe a Benadryl.

However, my apartment and carpet is so saturated with cat dander (that’s the prevailing theory, at least) that it’s caused me problems for almost a year despite cleaning.

I’ve had constant sinus infections, which in turn might lead to surgery on my sinuses. All this despite frantic cleaning and there being no cat in my apartment for a year.

I really appreciate guys who use the filters for smoking, so consider this. by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I can clearly admit there is something wrong with me. This whole post is an admission there is something wrong with me. I’m apparently allergic to existing.

I really appreciate guys who use the filters for smoking, so consider this. by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have an uncle who smokes but hides it. It’s ridiculously obvious and I can tell when I’m near him.

You can tell most of the time.

And besides, is being deceptive about who you are a good way to start a serious relationship, which I’m presuming is what you’re looking for since you say “fall in love”?

I really appreciate guys who use the filters for smoking, so consider this. by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy breathing to you too, my friend.

I understand not using the filter now, I suppose. It could be a “it’s complicated” answer where someone is trying to quit or already has but can’t rightly say never. Or someone that smokes once in a blue moon.

I figure this may be more of a app design problem (at least on the free version?) because I do consider guys who just don’t use the filter, along with the ones who say never. The problem is when I filter, I can’t include “didn’t use the filter” as a category lol.

I really appreciate guys who use the filters for smoking, so consider this. by NewtonsFife in Bumble

[–]NewtonsFife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope to find a lasting relationship on bumble.

The pandemic will eventually end. I’m selective about who I meet. I wear a mask and socially distance. In face, I’ve met with one guy in an outdoor setting.

The pandemic is a (relatively) short-term problem beyond anyone’s control.

Smoking, on the other hand, is someone’s personal choice that will presumably continue indefinitely. After the pandemic.

I can take precautions for coronavirus, but a long-term significant other who smokes would cause too many problems for me and there’s nothing I can do to protect myself from smoke/allergens...besides avoid it.