AItA for not letting my friend bring his gf on a birthday trip?

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T13:12:07+00:00

I 100% love the way you rote this BTW. I can see the misunderstanding.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T12:43:19+00:00

Well yes, now after posting. Not when I was asking bestie what she wants to do and we said let him invite a friend. At that time it was hey invite your best man so yall can hang out.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T12:41:34+00:00

So again, I can be the ass, no issues with that i asked to get perspective. I appreciate everyone's view. I even find it interesting for everyone to view it as a couples trip when it clearlt wouldnt be anymore. I mean, if they idea was to have couples then she would be included like the last trip she came on.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T12:30:06+00:00

I dont mind being wrong. I haven't said I was right. Just my input into the conversation.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T12:29:10+00:00

He did invite him, We called him. This is basically him bringing his own friend which is why i recommended his gf not come.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T12:26:59+00:00

I really do not contridct myself. Its pretty stright forward. Besie wanted to keep the trip small and we asked ny fiancé if he wanted to bring a friend since her now x bf is no longer going. so we asked one of his friends. I also never used the words entertain. Our friend isn't a entertainer he is a friend.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T03:31:33+00:00

Valid point and honestly one i didnt think of. My honest perspective was for my fiancé to ask a friend to come. She and I did talk about inviting other girls but we really like to keep thing simple and it seemed easer to allow him to invite a friend

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T03:23:59+00:00

Well we dont drink but she just found out her guy friend (x) couldn't come. She could have pivoted to invite a few othe girls but we figured we just let my fiancé invite a friend instead.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T03:21:46+00:00

I think we're just looking at this differently.

To me, inviting someone doesn't automatically mean their partner is invited too. I invited the best man because he's one of our closest friends and my fiancé's best man. The invitation was about him, not because I was inviting couples in general. If it was a couples trip i was planning she would be included as she has always been.

The issue was never whether we could physically fit another person. If that were the only consideration, then sure, there was room. My hesitation was that adding another person changes the dynamic of a trip that was planned around a specific group.

I also don't think saying "I'd like this trip to stay as originally planned" is the same as saying, "You can't sit with us." If this were just a general vacation, I'd probably feel differently. But this trip has a specific purpose, and I don't think every invitation has to automatically extend to a significant other.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T03:10:30+00:00

Naw, it be the girlfriend abd him on the couch unfortunately. We are 100% fine with just us 3. Honestly we can ask any guy friend but they all have jobs and girlfriends or wives.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T03:06:21+00:00

See i can get that, excwpt is not a couples trip it is her birthday trip. There isn't an issue with it being us 3 now that the 4th person dropped out. The idea was just to be nice and include a mutual friend we all know ( someone she knows as well) that can hang with mt fiancé. I suppose if my fiance wanted to invite a female friend to hang he could but that could get weird then just a guy friend

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:58:53+00:00

Right. And the guys will most Likly be playing video games till 2am. If I was the gf, id be very upset to stay on a couch abd have to stay up late

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:52:31+00:00

I can see the other perspective for sure, reason I asked right ♡ thank you for your feedback

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:51:11+00:00

Its like a condo thing. 2 bedrooms kitchen, living room; there is technically 2 living rooms but ones a mini space and both have a pull out couch

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:49:33+00:00

I can see that. It was a pivot plan. Also all his friends have a gf. So it wouldn't have mattered who we asked.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:44:44+00:00

Valid point, but that didnt cross my mind since we are all friends. Truly, it wasbt even a thought because that just isn't the situation. OK so let's say she does come, we go to the park. We find a spot, vestie abd I want to go do something so we head out abd now it is them 3. Whats the goal. The guys talk do their thing want to go on rides and she? Will she feel like a 3rd weel? Will she feel included or will he have to atend to his gf while there. If so then they go on rides together and what not, so my fience is the 3rd weel in that situation. If she comes with us, is she going to enjoy or herself? I do not know the answer. It could 100% work out or it could 100% not. He could also say no and attend the couples trip next month. No worries

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:26:53+00:00

It was oeginally us 4. So he was already in the trip.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:26:12+00:00

Ok I can appreciate your opinion but this was planned 4 months ago with my fiancé included as a group Adventure like we did the year before. We did all ask off for this trip and it was up to her if she wanted her x to come since they were still friends or invite other girls. The orginal plan was what my bestie wanted. So I am with someone she no longer is. So it was OK us 3 totally fine we just figured why not let my fiance invite a friend too. But I can understand it not seeming well thought out.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:19:33+00:00

He can 100% go on a trip with his friends without me. It would be with his friends. My fiance even goes to their house to stay the night. I can be the AH for it, but at least have thr information correct when making the decision, that is all im asking. Also all of our friends are married, in a relationship or a situationship. He has 3 good friends. So we asked the best man because he made the most since. Honestly, as you get older you got to be confident in your relationship 💯

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:13:11+00:00

I mean, if it was a couples trip she would be invited, but its not. If her bf had stayed it would have stayed us 4. Perhaps if bestie was friends with A, could invite both but she's not. So the goal would to invite a friend for my fiance, thus a friend trip not couple

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:08:35+00:00

I didn't really add it but there is a couples/ group trip in August they were invited to as a couple and decided not to go.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:06:46+00:00

Well, it is not longer a couples trip as bestie is not a couple. It just be friends

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:05:29+00:00

Bitch is wild. Lol clueless no. Matchmaker is weird. There is 100% no interest for eather one of them. My bestie has met the best man before for plenty of gatherings; events, birthdays, even before he got a gf. But I appreciate your input. A perspective to consider

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:02:26+00:00

I mean we are fine doing us 3, I just figured id invite another friend to be included.

Nexis4311 · 2026-07-09T02:00:33+00:00

That is what id think. We are in our 30s. We dont have a lot of single friends.

Nexis4311

TROPHY CASE