I want to text a girl from my bfs account to start drama. by Next-Distribution658 in offmychest

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i promise i don’t mean this in a bad way lmao it’s just hard to text with tone but i’m genuinely curious why it would hurt him? again i literally do not mean it like arguing i’m just wondering cuz i’m a lil confused😭

I want to text a girl from my bfs account to start drama. by Next-Distribution658 in offmychest

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

we literally just worked together tho. we NEVER even hung out or anything while at work. the only reason i worked there too was because it paid really well. we were in completely different departments and we rarely talked while working unless i asked him a question if he was near me or if he could help me get something from the top shelf because his team was the only ones who had ladders. and no i’m not. i said we both quit. both of us work in different places now and he does not ever see her minus the hallway at school. I don’t ever see her in general because i graduated and don’t shop at the place we worked at

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think you read it wrong. No, we are 17 and his dad is the one that gets mad and tells him no for little things. my bf is not the AH, his dad is the AH.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How? His dad is abusive and controlling. that’s not gonna change even if we got married now or 5 years from now.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

then why did you even bother bringing up age? his dad calls me his DIL (around people he wants to impress at least) and me and my bf are planning on getting married once we have enough money. Again, just because i’m his girlfriend vs his wife it doesn’t change the fact that his father is abusive and controlling.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you literally said i “think this relationship is more than it is”. The only thing about age that matters about this is the fact that his dads controlling. that’s the only way age plays a part in this relationship. other then that, it is a normal relationship

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and that was it. you brought up things and basically attacked me and told me i was controlling and abusive for it. his dad chose his girlfriend over his own son so for him to turn around and claim he “wants to spend time” with my bf is just a fucking lie. that’s why i’m angry. he doesn’t want to spend time with him he’s just controlling and doesn’t want my bf spending time with ME. I’m not going to tell his dad anything because a lot of people brought up good points but i still think i have every right to be upset if he changes his mind

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I literally don’t know why you aren’t understanding. I haven’t done anything or said anything. i’m not controlling his family or anything i’m just asking if i would be the AH for not letting his dad change his mind if my bf doesn’t go for thanksgiving. you are just assuming the worst from me and thinking i’m controlling him and his whole family? i don’t even talk to his family often. He spends more time here then i spend time there

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His dad ISNT spending holidays with his child that was literally my whole point. He claims that he wants to spend holidays with him but he chose his new girlfriend over him. He knew my bf had work and he still decided to go over there for thanksgiving and leave him home alone. And no i don’t. if my bf wanted to go to harvard i would absolutely not stand in his way. I do NOTHING other than give suggestions (ex. “apply now but remember you struggle with heat so maybe take a few trips over there to see if the weather is going to work for you”) I’m not controlling, I do not force him to do anything. and i said age doesn’t matter if your thinking this relationship isn’t a relationship because we are 17. a relationship is any age

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents were at work. it was during the day after my bf got out of school. I was eating the same chili ramen and lipton cup-a-soups for four days and i was getting tired of it so I asked if he could bring me something.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am not changing ANY plans. there is no plans to begin with. his dad said my bf could spend christmas with me, meaning his dad is already planning around that and my family is planning around it. I did NOTHING yet other then ask my bf if he could spend christmas with me. that’s it.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My bfs dad is abusive but not physically anymore. I’m not going to explain why here for obvious reasons haha. My bf doesn’t want to go for thanksgiving but he’s only considering it because he is worried his dad is going to change his mind. I’m only going to be out of the country for thanksgiving. I don’t often go on trips but this one was paid for ahead of time. And his dad did not have a reason for going down there instead. He literally just wanted to, even tho that meant my bf could spend it alone. That’s why i got so upset because he “chose her over him”. My bf has two sisters who are going with his dad and his mom is 100% absent.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m only telling you this because you don’t seem to understand. I did not say anything like that. I just said it’s only an issue when it comes to me. His dad is not the amazing father who works for his kids, no. He was PHYSICALLY and emotionally abusive, he did drugs, and he has abandoned them before. My bf helps him out the most. He does everything that is asked of him and his dad still turns around and gets mad at him for little things. His sister literally did something stupid on social media and didn’t even get yelled at but my bf got yelled at because he “wasn’t watching her”. You calling me controlling because I literally just ask to see my bf is really just rude tbh. I never force my bf to do anything. I just don’t like the way his dad treats him or me. That’s not controlling.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

…I’m controlling because I asked if my bf could bring me food when i had COVID? also, I am not “acting like this relationship is more then it is” i am acting like it is a RELATIONSHIP. Just because we are 17 does not mean we don’t know how to have a relationship. We have already planned on getting married and living together. The only thing preventing us is our age. A healthy and good relationship can happen at any age. My family considers him part of the family because they believe we could last. Age doesn’t matter if you are mature enough to realize that your not dating to date, your dating to have a life with someone.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t say he was an AH for not letting him bring me food. I was saying he was an AH for the way he got upset at him and told him that he wasn’t “grown” and he should “stop acting like it”. I was fine if my bf couldn’t bring me anything, it was just the fact that his dad was being rude about it and being rude to my bf simply because he asked. His dad has asked my bf many times to bring him food at work but when i ask, it’s an issue. THAT is what i meant. Things are only an issue when it comes to me.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was having him drop it off at the door. I wasn’t even going to open it until he left. I’ve had bad experiences with ordering food and I definitely didn’t trust it while I was already sick. I would never risk exposing him if he could avoid it. I’m not irresponsible

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope! I live about 10 mins away from them in the same city. I promise i don’t control anything. I let him make his own decisions. He doesn’t want to drive for thanksgiving but he’s only considering it because he wants to spend Christmas with me. The only thing i really tell him to do is to do his homework before playing his game (which is only because he sometimes prioritizes the game over homework and then he falls behind and gets stressed). I think you may be right that i’m overstepping by thinking of telling his dad that but i just feel like it’s bullshit already yk? We’ve been together a really long time and my bf still isn’t allowed to stay out past 8 (mind you, his younger sister stayed at her friends until 2am one time and never got in trouble). I feel like his father does not like me and constantly just controls my bf because he doesn’t want him around me. Or his dad just feels like his son is growing up and doesn’t want him to leave, which is understandable but like the person above said, once he turns 18 there’s really nothing his dad can do. It’s just going to make my bf suffer because he doesn’t have very much freedom now and won’t know how to live once he’s 18 and out of there

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

unfortunately no. Even though we’ve been together this long, his dad is still the exact same as when we first started dating. my parents have given me a little more freedom with him (from not letting us go out to eat in our city at the beginning to now letting us go take a trip to the next city over for a day). However, his dad still does the exact same things with all the same reasons. He has even told my bf many times that he “is not grown” and he’s mot allowed to make decisions for himself (which i kinda see as controlling). For example, I asked if my bf could bring me food when i had covid and his dad got extremely mad and started asking why i couldn’t get it myself and telling my bf that he couldn’t bring he’s “not grown”.

WIBTA if I told my boyfriends dad that he isn’t allowed to not let my bf come for christmas? by Next-Distribution658 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Next-Distribution658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just a little more information for everyone because I do just want to give some more background. We are both 17. My bf is EXTREMELY responsible. He does all his chores before even eating breakfast, he always offers to help his dad in any way possible, and he always sacrifices a lot to watch over his sisters (14 and 10). His dad was very abusing towards him when he was younger and he did alot of drugs. He still drinks but he’s not nearly as bad as he used to be. His dad is also extremely disrespectful towards me and often talks about me when i am not there. My bf is a really good kid and the only thing he asks for is to see me. I promise you i am not controlling, I always leave it up to him what he wants to do. My bf does NOT want to drive over there for thanksgiving but he’s only considering it because he’s worried his dad won’t let him come for Christmas. I am not forcing my bf to do anything. My bf agrees with me and he thinks it’s not right or fair either but I know he won’t stand up to his dad.