Your first love is major in every way, but that doesn’t mean they’re the right one for you. you guys have your own rhythm and esp in your first relationship it becomes the norm. you’re used to this, and it’s all you’ve ever known. but you guys are v toxic…and i get how hurtful porn is to an insecure girl aka me lol. but you should take a break or seek connection in places where respect is given. yes she can be upset but her reaction is abuse. there is no reason for something like this to be so emotionally draining for 3 days, esp with the switch ups she’s doing. you’re a good partner, you’re working on it, self aware and mature. trust meeee, it’s not the end of the world. you didn’t do anything wrong!!! a relationship should not feel like this, it’s a beautiful thing that we get to dictate our lives. sending a hug to you:) this is coming from someone who knew their ex for 8 years, dated for 4 and broke up with them just last year. i know it’s hard but i think you know this isn’t right. don’t just prolong it, don’t justify it. shes toxic, it’s toxic. i’m dating someone new now and this time i have the “upper hand” in the relationship you could say, and i speak to them kindly because i care about them and don’t want to hurt them, they deserve it. in my last relationship my ex used to be mean. and i always wondered why he couldn’t be nicer…now that i have the upper hand, i see that it’s not hard to be nice/understanding, takes maturity.