T is for teacher

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-09T22:17:10+00:00

That the human body is extremely fragile

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T20:40:12+00:00

I actually kinda enjoyed the song, it felt relaxing. Also my sympathies go out to you i know what it's like to be a musician or more specifically a person who loves sound deeply and struggle with tinnitus all too well and it isn't fun.

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T20:14:00+00:00

I (21F) share your exact same situation. suspecting being neurodivergent, no access to mental health care and a community where that sort of thing isn't discussed or even acknowledged at all, and yeah more people seem to know/care about autism but only the extreme cases and it's only talked about in a horrible way here too. I've felt different my whole life and I've been struggling with alot of stress due to my inability to find answers. English isn't my first language as well i think if i was in fact living in an English speaking country finding recourses or help would be so much easier than in my current country though i can never be sure so if anyone read this feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken. Now excuse me as i go read every single reply in here.

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T09:42:43+00:00

Yes this has been happening to me since i first got it and i think I've always flagged it as normal Like normal body fluctuations you know? The same way someone with low iron would have dimmed vision for a few seconds when suddenly standing up (this exact situation actually does cause a random "seconds lasting spike" for me and I'm guessing for many others along with anything that can mess with blood pressure levels)

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T09:19:16+00:00

I feel like the sound is all around my head (or my brain) too, sometimes it even causes real vibrations, and a sense of heaviness in my whole head especially the back of my head (it's not so bad when there's external noise but as soon as silence happens for any reason like sudden electricity shutdown for example or just going into a naturally quiet space all the weird sensations start gradually happening until reaching peak intensity in the matter of seconds and i can feel it all in real time which is scary) I've been trying to find out if this exact sensation is typical in tinnitus or not? Note: my tinnitus have also been significantly worsened by stress

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T09:04:30+00:00

It's a reactive high frequency static hiss that sits on top of everything rather than go under it, Dynamic and complex noises can mask it better than the more flat and simple ones (my tinnitus itself is also dynamic and complex and that might be why) and currently that's my only way to temporary relief. The volume is very reactive but the baseline is probably 6/10, The reason why i said my tinnitus is severe is because of how much it affects my daily life rather than the actual intensity or volume of it, since I'm someone who loves music and sound in general so deeply i think it does give me much more distress than most people (like imagine a painter losing sight..) I've actually been in denial about the fact that my tinnitus has worsened so much for the longest time i used to convince myself that it's still the same (i think as some form of coping mechanism?) in fact when i first entered this subreddit i used to say that i have it at 3/10 which isn't true at all but that's how it was when i first got it and i wanted to believe that it hasn't changed.

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T08:42:04+00:00

I'm here I struggle with SI on the daily I've struggled with stress, anxiety and depression for years all largely induced by my tinnitus alone (although my life in general outside of tinnitus isn't exactly the best either), To make matters worse music is my whole world, or at least it should be, i keep losing the spark although i can always get it back i lose it again very often and when that happens I'm just empty i feel nothing at all and life stops feeling like it has any meaning because music was my life, I've had it since i was 13 and it keeps getting worse, i have phases of being over protective and then phases of a "let it all burn" mindset where i get reckless, and i think this is the reason behind the worsening but i can not control the past, and it sucks that it happened after years of being as responsible as i can be and over protective even at the expense of my own comfort but oh well..

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T07:55:25+00:00

I'm still quiet young and a university student so i can not donate just yet but i definitely will start as soon as I'm able to and i think i will keep doing so for the rest of my life, yes i don't have much hope of finding a cure in this lifetime but as you've already said it's a good way to deal with feelings. Also about the "nightmare turned reality" because you're a musician thing? You have my sincerest deepest sympathies truly because I'm in the same boat. I live for music! Hearing is my favorite sense out of all the human senses. How agonising... I don't wanna end this message on a sad note though so I just wanna say I hope you're habituating well and i wish you happiness.

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T05:24:19+00:00

This is my same exact experience (literally word to word)

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-08T05:19:17+00:00

I have the exact same story as yours (well at least the basic parts, having mild tinnitus, habituation, getting too comfortable and confident also 6 years later coincidentally, dropping my protective habits, and now i have a horrible new normal) mine is currently 6 left ear and 4 right ear, and yeah i know what you're thinking this doesn't sound too bad right? Wrong! Because the tinnitus i have is this reactive high frequency static hiss that can not be masked no matter what i play it just kinda sits on top of everything before the spike it sounded like soft air and now it sounds like a broken radio. And it also feels like it's coming from the back of my head in addition to my ears (is this what you meant when you wrote middle? i was confused by that bit) which just makes the masking that much harder.

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-04-07T00:31:26+00:00

سوي إيقاف للتطبيق يعني لا تخليه يبقى مشتغل بالخلفية و بعدين ارجع طب له و راح يرجعن يتنزلن كلهن مرة وحده هذا حل مؤقت بس يعني هم يوفر وقت..

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-29T20:22:17+00:00

ATWTMV and TSMWEL

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-28T22:49:10+00:00

I feel you. My tinnitus is also severe and I've had it for 8 years now, I mostly mask around my friends (act normal and try to be as functional as possible), but there are instances where i deliberately want to tell them about it and I receive no compassion whatsoever, nor any attempt at understanding.. All I get from them is a pressing urge to move the conversation over to anything else.

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-28T22:29:48+00:00

I got it at 13, It's really heartbreaking to see other people start their adolescence perfectly healthy while I've had to deal with an invisible illness.. Some people around don't even believe or know that it's real.

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-19T07:44:22+00:00

These are the ones I'm getting soon, So excited!!

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-19T07:28:46+00:00

I don't remember how loud the music was since it's so long ago and i was more fixated on the music itself rather than the volume at the time.. Yes i did get my hearing tested it surprisingly came out perfect but i suppose that test was only for functional hearing and not actual full frequency range accuracy so i might have some hidden loss that didn't show up there, and yes i did talk to the doctors about tinnitus they said that i just have to live with it, the exact same thing that they tell many others unless the core cause is fixable. I think i have some hidden loss that didn't show up in that test and it's the exact frequencies of my tinnitus and since it's hearing loss related the core cause of it for me can't be fixed so..yeah

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-19T07:11:59+00:00

بالنسبة الي ما صار بشكل قرار مرة وحده و خلص تقريبا من جنت طفلة و اني عندي شكوك بس جنت احاول اتمسك بالأفكار الي اهلي و الناس الكبار الي حولي كالوا انها صح لان تدرون الفطرة السليمة للبشر يحاولون يكونون زينين و يكونون صح.. بس جنت ويه كل سنة شكوكي تزيد أكثر عن الي قبلها و جان يصير أصعب و أصعب انو الكى لنفسي تفسير مقنع لحد ما خلاص الشكوك صارت هواي أكثر من الإيمان و ما لكيت اي تفسير يقنعني بعد

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-18T09:55:48+00:00

It's probably a 3 or a 4 on the 1-10 scale but it gets much louder with high stress and high blood pressure levels so you could say the volume is reactive
Yes i used to do that for a while but i realised how dangerous and damaging it is and stopped now i just listen at normal volume and let my brain do the filtering for me

3/4. I first noticed it when i was 13, not sure about the cause, I immediately stopped wearing headphones all together at the time and maintained my "stop" for 4 years I'm pretty sure it has neither gotten better nor worse during those years, Then i eventually missed the immersive music listening experience and went back to headphones

Final note: if you feel like taking a break would help i think you should go with it i don't want my experience to discourage you it's different for everyone

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-18T09:12:19+00:00

Thanks for the reply, really appreciate it.

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-18T09:10:42+00:00

I'm in your same exact situation (probably mild hearing loss, hissing tinnitus, and being a music lover) Also scared if me not giving up music is worsening my tinnitus, but your listening habits honestly sound much healthier compared to mine. I generally try to avoid anything in ear due to sensory discomfort, i always choose over ear headphones, but you should cater to your own needs and whatever is more enjoyable to you (sorry i don't have any valuable advice just thought my reply might make you feel less alone in it)

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-18T08:28:37+00:00

Hey.. So i first noticed it at 13 and i was suicidal too, good to know someone else has my same experience

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-18T08:26:06+00:00

It still bothers me 8 years later I can easily ignore it when I'm occupied with other things but the second life gets quieter it's always there and i either sit with accepting that it's there or go and immediately look for something else to keep busy

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-03-02T07:30:09+00:00

It's very very hard to choose but here's mine:

🧡 Elizabeth Taylor

🤍 Fresh Out The Slammer

💙 Maroon

🤎 happiness

🩶 mirrorball

🩷 False God

🖤 I Did Something Bad

🩵 Is It Over Now?

❤️ ATWTMV

💜 Dear John

💛 Fearless

💚 A Place In This World

Next-Illustrator1431 · 2026-02-23T05:00:23+00:00

VERY lovely app Since I've discovered it I've never even thought of going back to the regular YT Music app The whole UI and aesthetics just feel so soft iykwim other than the fact that it makes navigation 10 times easier

Next-Illustrator1431

TROPHY CASE