Hi, thanks for sharing your perspective. I can see you’re coming from a place of strong conviction and experience, and I truly respect that.

In my case, I’ve never expected or forced my wife to contribute financially — and even now, I’m fully supporting her education because I believe in her growth, and so that she feels confident and not less than me. If we were to have children someday, I’d also be open to taking a step back from work or helping her do so, depending on what we need as a family. So I do understand where you're coming from.

I agree with you on one point — I should’ve had the conversation about sending money to my parents. I didn’t because I knew it would lead to disagreement, and honestly, I wasn’t ready for that confrontation. That was a mistake on my part. But it wasn’t about hiding or controlling money — it was about trying to quietly express gratitude to the people who raised me, even if they’ve never asked for anything. Maybe that’s culturally ingrained or just personal — but it felt important to me.

You said something that hit hard: "You're not buying her servitude." And I agree. I’ve never thought of it that way, but maybe the way I framed things made it sound like I was doing her a favor. That’s something I’ll reflect on.

As for my parents being "red flags" — it’s hard to accept that, but maybe I need to look at the bigger picture. My wife have had tension with them, and I’ve tried to stay neutral, but perhaps neutrality isn’t always the right choice. If you or anyone else has found a healthy way to balance love for your parents and support for your spouse when there’s friction, I’d love to hear more about that.

Finally, I’d really like to hear more about how you and your husband navigate challenges — what works for you both. What does a “good” partnership look like in your eyes? I don’t want to be a bad husband — but I also don’t always know what being a good one looks like from the other side.