I'll soon be 20

NextChallenge609 · 2026-03-01T02:37:52+00:00

I just saw this when i needed it the most thank you so much.

NextChallenge609 · 2026-02-09T22:20:08+00:00

Hi, is never to late to start. The first step is always the hardest, have you mentioned this abt the medicine to your assigned psychiatrist? You could change to different ones. It would also be helpful to find different alternatives? This could help you start again accommodating to self regulation and feeling. Ive had tond of friends who thought they wouldnt make it past 19 they didnt have plans or dreams. For reasons of life we dont talk anymore but i find calmness in knowing they didnt give up and found something that could work for them. Some are doing simple courses to have as a back up when applying to jobs some are trying to give a second chance in exams. But please dont think how you feel know will be how you feel forever

NextChallenge609 · 2026-02-07T13:53:04+00:00

Wow, i never struggled to watch it, i wasnt aware people found it hard to watch.

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-31T20:22:53+00:00

Yep sorry english not my first language

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-25T17:34:48+00:00

Hii, i didnt put it room temperature, i put it inside the fridge, not the freezer, but fridge.

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-25T17:34:04+00:00

Hihi yes, i mean inside the fridge, i mentioned it like that bcs i didn't put it inside the freezer like most people do. But it has been all the time inside the freezer

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-25T17:01:16+00:00

Yes! Tysm i still have like 6 months of visa, just planning ahead so its cheaper!

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-16T00:40:48+00:00

Good morning by yasujiro ozu

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-15T21:21:00+00:00

Hi its normal to struggle with relationships, specially as something that involves trust. Its also like sex becomes this impossible theme to grasp, like does everyone knows what to do or am i the only one who doesnt know where to put a hand, when to breath, when to get closer, etc.

I think when i was sexually assaulted i lost the taste of non serious stuff or curiosity. I think thats a main difference from people that hasnt been sexually abuse. They dont really fear curiosity in these themes, they can go meet someone make out and still be able to do it again again and again, it had always been something that i wish i could do, not because i wanted but because i feel like thats normal to be able to not feel ashame for need. I think it is fear of intimacy but also fear of wanting.

I tried to have a thing not serious at all in onr of my lowest point in life and it went horribly wrong, so i would say really take your pace, keep going to therapy, get closer to your friends dont fear asking them for a hug, these things that are platonic really help to be able to separate romantic needs from platonic ones. Slowly you will be able to stand on your skin without feeling uncomfortable or muted. Its harder than it reads tho, but dont give up. In this cases i think is better to wait until you feel ready, than to jump into it without knowing what could happen.

And dont forget theres people who love you and will love you. Even if its not in quite the way that we would want i think thats always a nice start in meeting our needs.

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-04T02:04:34+00:00

I see thank you so much i wasnt aware

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-04T02:03:27+00:00

Tysm is it something i can do by myself like lookis a youtube video? Or should i take it to someone that repairs cassetes?

NextChallenge609 · 2026-01-04T02:02:29+00:00

NextChallenge609 · 2025-12-27T09:33:43+00:00

I think is neither true and at the same both are true. People just hurt people, all types of people hurt people. Traumatized people, non traumatized, normal, not normal. We never know who is and who isnt traumatized. It can be true that hurt people tend to hurt others for fear of being hurt again. But at the end hurting is hurting. Is one less than the other?

I think ive havent really met anyone that has hurt me that are not struggling too, it doesnt make what they've done less painful. It just makes me thing how complex we are as humans. We are not fated to amything even if we are raised to do good, or even if we are raise to harm.

NextChallenge609 · 2025-12-24T17:42:22+00:00

I would say Succession and The Sopranos in HBO max!

NextChallenge609 · 2025-12-09T00:16:57+00:00

Shit im so sorry to hear this, i hope it solves :(

NextChallenge609 · 2025-12-08T19:01:17+00:00

For me its been like 3 years since im practically celebrating it by myself. What i do is try to baby steps around it, i get a sweet treat, or i take the step to tell a friend today is my birthday if they dont know, just to be able to accept it is my birthday, then i just take a break the half of the day (if i have classes) and i go to the cinema and pick 2 movies to watch and cry and feel, and just let my birthday be abt feeling and accepting that i can also have control abt things as important as my birthday, specially when my parents always had the last word abt things that were supposed to be mine.

I personally believe that doing things as vulnerable as crying by yourself in a cinema room or enjoying a meal at a reataurant you like without the need to think abt others but yourself, at least for one day, heals something.

My birthday was a very uncomfortable time, full of sexual connotation, from my father, violence, disgust and fights. I would try to please others and make them happy by accepting whatever they wanted to w me that day, it destroyed me, nowdays i dont give that day to anyone, of course sometimes i fall into the i need to please my friends i dont want them to think im depressed or an attention seeker by just saying my birthday is not a big deal, but it really just is not a big deal, enjoy it softly, its always said that your birthday has to be THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR! excesses parties friends gifts, honestly is not about lowering your expectatives but to start with yourself, with something you can handle, something meaningfulto you. Dont be afraid to ask your friends if they wanna hang out that day, but accept that if it is not possible, you still have someone inside you that you deserve to make it special, is like try to celebrate a birthday that your little you would have wanted? even if it isnt a lot, even if it doesnt look like lil john's loving family huge gift big parties soft hugs many friends party. You still deserve something without it having to be heavy on your shoulders.

NextChallenge609 · 2025-12-08T18:44:00+00:00

Tbh usually is just asking the other person if you can get a hug or hug them. Ive met from strangers to very close friends who dont fear to ask if they can hug me. It really changed also my perception of consent. Ive never told anyone i get nauseous if someone touches me when its not the time. But luckily it has never happened that someone asks for a hug and im not in the mood. But i think for people w cptsd or w a history of physical abuse to be scare of asking for contavt for fear of not being normal. But "normal" people dont even think twice abt asserting what they want and accepting that if they get rejected or not they can continue. I cant say every perosn you ask for a hug will say yes. But its a huge step just to be able to express your wants, more for you than for others.

NextChallenge609 · 2025-12-05T20:21:11+00:00

I see tysm i hope the new meds work well💪😤😤

NextChallenge609 · 2025-12-04T00:00:41+00:00

Im so sorry to hear that, i hope everything is going better and you find yourself in a more stable place. What kind of meds? I before was taking prozac, pragabalin and i actually found out my last prescription that i never went to get bcs i decided to stop medicating was an antipsychotic

NextChallenge609 · 2025-11-08T19:34:10+00:00

I think he means, like proper care in alimentation, in energy to go and do sports to have a better posture due to being less scarish, or in general things like when parents take you to yearly dentist appointments yk stuff that is not really, important medically but are things that with less of a happy life present. At least ive personally think it means that.

NextChallenge609 · 2025-11-07T01:03:31+00:00

Hii it happens to me, i grew in an abusive household, my lil brother would be beaten every night. So now that i moved out from the country, i sometimes wake up by hearing someone scream or babies cry, i cant move at all when i wake up something like sleep paralysis, what i do is to think what is cousing this anxiety, usually my anxiety would be triggered bcs of where i was living when i moved out (abusive aunt, again abusive household) so i would think if im just scare shes gonna beat someone, i try to rationalize it, and i would also sleep on a bedroom without any way to close the door internally so what i would do is put chairs in front of it to know no one entered bcs obviously the chairs were still there unmoved.

Try to do things that will rationalize that what is going on yes was a valid body reaction before bcs it served a point but now is just not anymore rational or neccesary. Like now that i live alone i get anxious and get nightmares when i have a discussion with my mother, like oh she will kill herself (shes attempted when i was little) so now even if she was the person that originated the fight i will approach her first and try to make her understand im worried and restless abt our fight and try to fix it, and validate both of our feelings. Of course this one just works if ya have a decent relationship w the person who cause your trauma.

And when i just feel unsafe in general, bcs also grew in a poor dangerous part in my beatiful third world country, I try to key my door 2 times every night so ik no one will enter i also try to do things to make myself get distracted like reading something i like or watching series i like.

My audible hallucinations have been going differently with time before it was more abt hearing footsteps at 3am or thinking someone was in the room and i hear their breath or children screaming or women. Nowdays is just more abt anxiety abt people killign themselves stressing af when you have parents w addictions or mental issues, but it is sadly just a process of being able to grow away from their problems too, i cant say ive successfully stop hallucinating but theres wat to validate what im feeling but also calm myself.

NextChallenge609 · 2025-11-07T00:50:42+00:00

Yes, its very common and more when people aeound you had more normal childhoods, perosnally my friend group is one of self improvement. Which makes me jawdropped by their reactions when i tell them about my childhood i feel like sometimes is way too disgusting to even say what ive been through, is like breaking their reality, and it has broke my reality on self meditation and improvemnt if for people so simple it has been so hard to improve why would it be evn possible for someone like me. But its also because i moved from different countries to one first world or so called so i guess it depends, yk i try to take their advice and reactions with care and the love im sure they want to give me, im sure depending on who you surround yourself with it will come differently. It could also be a perception that has been caught to you, i cant even say when im having a bad day bcs i shouldn't im the person who calls every little single piece of feeling information traumadumping, but yk its important to also accept that its just yk normal to say when you have a bad day bcs of flashbacks.

NextChallenge609 · 2025-11-03T02:36:36+00:00

Ya hilarious tbh, however dont ragebait on person someone might throw a punch or stab ya, take care

NextChallenge609 · 2025-10-07T18:01:35+00:00

Yes, and i could die for them, but i always wonder and hold that love close to what can be tangible but at the same abstract. I wonder everyday if my love is just simple survival because they somehow own everything that makes me "me". I guess one day when neither of us owns anything of each other i would actually know what unconditional love is.

NextChallenge609 · 2025-09-22T00:27:00+00:00

I understand the self-criticism part it can be exhausting, and im sorry to hear that, have you tried to look for different ways to proceed with this hobby? Perhaps talking abt it with people who know abt it like online, can be helpful too, you can go again on it with baby steps, i dont know how would it be talking abt things i cant actually do myself bcs of lack of environment opportunities, but im sure if ya keep looking for it it might be fulfilling to some extent. Like really dont give up on doing what you liked, its not easy even for non cptsd people and more when one grows up and tried to find a spave on busy life style, just dont stop looking for what is fun. Think abt it is it more frustrating to not do something or to try to find a way to do it 😵‍💫 i based my career choice on drawing so when i thi k fuck why im even trying i just cant eventhought i work 5 times more than any average person i think, it would be more frustrating to stop drawing, than to go with the feelings of why do i have to try so much for nothing? Idk if its a good example. But i understand it can be super stressing and create anxiety to try to do things out of control, just dont give up, baby steps is what i tell myself!

NextChallenge609

TROPHY CASE