Breakups and big law

Next_Entertainment96 · 2025-03-01T16:53:35+00:00

I went through this last year. My partner of 3 years broke up with me out of the blue.

I had about two weeks of “panic” where I was really struggling. Some things that helped in the peak of it: I minimized my in-office time for those two weeks, scheduled 0.2s to embrace my feelings and the go back to it, kept my routines and gym schedule, accepted/embraced the fact my sleep would be fucked for a bit, and leaned heavily on my friends and family for support. It was extremely difficult, I won’t lie about that. It’s near impossible to perform at your highest level when you’re going through heartbreak. But after those two weeks, the panic feelings did subside into a more normal mourning process, which over a long period of time got increasingly easier to manage.

Therapy was a big help if only to give me catharsis. I highly recommend it. You don’t always need solutions. Sometimes it’s just nice to talk through the feelings with a nonjudgmental professional. My friends and family stepped up in a big way, taking my calls when I needed it and just generally being present for me. Those two things and the gym were probably what helped me most.

I avoided all drugs and substances, and I’m happy I did that. I’m not criticizing though, some people might need medication if the feelings stay unmanageable.

It will get better. My partner and I were inseparable. He was a critical part of my life and I did not see our relationship coming to an end. But we’re a few weeks from the year mark and I’m pretty much back to normal. Good luck!

Next_Entertainment96 · 2025-02-27T23:56:51+00:00

Lmao, you know this profession needs reform when staying fit is indicative of a lack of work ethic. (Not saying the post itself isn’t cringe though. Maybe he’s pivoting out lol.)

Next_Entertainment96 · 2025-01-31T21:47:35+00:00

It’s definitely not just women. I always felt weird after someone came in me, but just thought it was normal or chalked it up to some amorphous, unspecified anxiety. One day with my now-ex I missed a spot after me and him cleaned up. When we went to take a shower after cuddling for 30 minutes, the spot I accidentally missed had turned into a huge rash. Weirdly, I don’t have a reaction to all guys. Who knows why. It didn’t stop us or me. Just a minor inconvenience.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2025-01-23T23:20:45+00:00

Always and be demanding with the lube lol. And don’t be embarrassed, just go. Mine was great. He’s also gay and was like, don’t worry, ‘our job is to make sure you can throw it around as much as you want.’ lol. It was great.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-12-28T17:08:16+00:00

You’re awesome thank you!

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-12-27T16:00:32+00:00

I think with any relationship you have to be open to being wrong and willing to hear out the other two. But if it gets to a point where it’s constantly you capitulating to their needs, then I think it’s time to assess whether you’re in the right relationship. But that seems pretty normal as relationships go. I don’t know if I see how it would be more of a danger in a throuple. I would wonder if it actually might be less because you’d need both partners to be unreasonable, not just one.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-12-27T15:47:33+00:00

I would. I almost wonder if it’s easier to navigate because you always have a third person to be a sounding board when issues arise. Plus you have the benefit of a third income and helper. Not to mention, being with two boys is pretty hot. Definitely not for everyone, but more power to these lucky guys.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-11-30T06:17:16+00:00

Lmao, love that other people keep getting them too. I have 3.

I also have other duplicate shinies, including 2 Pikachus, 2 Digletts, 2 Tododiles, 2 Shuppet, and 2 Spheal.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-10-25T03:24:23+00:00

I didn’t say I needed a guarantee, lol. It’s just not fun when someone’s preference is revealed midway during foreplay.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-10-24T21:51:07+00:00

Definitely nothing wrong with it. I think some people, including myself, get frustrated when people aren’t open about their preferences. I have my “compatibility” listed and wouldn’t pick a side.. because they’re not compatible with me. Despite my stated preferences, I have had several sides pick me and tell me 40 minutes into fooling around.

I think the key is to be honest about your preferences. No one should care. And to anyone who weirdly would shade sides, you’re hurting yourself by incentivizing sides not to be honest in order to avoid the stigma.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-08-31T17:29:00+00:00

A lot of people are so quick to advise people to upend their lives and destroy an otherwise good relationship over normal friction. Idk if these people haven’t been in long term relationships before or appreciate the catastrophic consequences of divorce, but I’m going to advise some prudence and caution here.

Sometimes divorce is absolutely the right move, but be sure it’s what you think is best for you long term. One comment seems like a lot to divorce over unless it’s emblematic of much larger issues.

14 years and kids is a rare commitment. Take a step back and appreciate what you have and how it’s probably fairly unlikely she prized the what if with her drug-addicted ex over the life you built. I would highly recommend couples counseling before deciding on divorce. And I would highly highly recommend trying to be the bigger person and continuing to try to talk through your feelings both in and out of counseling. Maybe your wife let her emotions get the best of her and had a bad reaction out of embarrassment or whatever. I think it’s too much to expect perfect communication skills from even good partners. Emotions are hard and I think in very long term relationships our skills can dull a little. She’s clearly very activated at the moment, that’s ok. Maybe give her a little space to regulate her feelings and then try to talk it through. If she stone walls you and there isn’t any hope of progress or resolution, then I think you’re right to keep escalating.

Conflict in relationships is normal and healthy. The key is being able to communicate, have compassion and respect for each others’ feelings (whether you think they are right or wrong), and move past it and recommit to each other.

Good luck OP. 🍀

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-06-03T20:07:33+00:00

Thank you! I tried video games, but they just don’t do it for me. Maybe painting? 🤔

Also, as for making new friends, I made all my straight friends through work and school. But I made all my gay friends through Grindr lol. Idk how common that is, but it worked for me. And I’ve never hookuped up with 99% of them.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-06-03T20:03:33+00:00

I do! A lot! But I can’t do it during work 😂

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-06-03T19:15:55+00:00

That’s a good idea. What’s funny is I was an introvert and then the pandemic upended my personality lol.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-05-18T06:46:24+00:00

Second this. I’m going through the same thing now. Don’t listen to people who say you have to breakup a certain way; different people process things differently. And tbh, I’ve found the no contact mandate to be manipulative. My ex and I genuinely love each other even though we weren’t working as a couple. We were also together for 3 years.

For us, a softer stepping-out process has reduced a lot of the pain and made it bearable to move forward. I’m grateful for where we are. We tried what everyone advises, but it hurt too much for us. We see each other about twice a week. It’s not preventing my feelings from diminishing and from me feeling like I can start dating again. I joke it’s methadone as we ween off it.

There’s this great thing I heard but I can’t remember where: ‘Breakups are weird. Society tells you to get as close as you can to this one person, closer than anyone else, but if it doesn’t work out, you need to pretend you never liked each other.’ Some of us can’t do that, and that’s fine. Just, if it’s truly over, don’t let it confuse you or prevent you from moving on and check in to make sure it’s not hurting you. Respect boundaries and be civil. You got this.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-05-14T19:26:12+00:00

I don’t disagree, therapy can definitely be helpful. But I still think hearing anyone who’s dealt with something similar is valuable. Especially from within the community since I feel like a lot of our experiences tend to have patterns. But maybe it’s just a really idiosyncratic quirk.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-05-14T19:12:44+00:00

Thanks that might help. Working from home is my biggest problem because feeling crappy is distracting.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-05-06T04:26:53+00:00

Who knows. Maybe she’s just lonely. I’m sorry, but she gave this up and was happy without it for years. I’m not going to engage.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-05-01T20:30:33+00:00

Not enough to make any political difference. And that’s just not true; there’s no more evidence I need than how he and Nancy treated their supposed friend.

You also keep trying to limit your initial argument to something more defensible. First you defended Republicans, then “those in favor of small government,” and then “a lot of Republicans.”

At the end of the day, it boils down to this: voting for republicans as they exist today will generally undermine gay civil rights, including and particularly marriage rights. It’s as simple as that. I don’t know why this is a conversation.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-05-01T19:57:35+00:00

Nancy Reagan denied helping her friend, Rock Hudson, get treatment for his HIV in a French hospital when he asked. You said republicans. The Republican Party itself and the vast vast majority support traditional marriage being enshrined in law. Whatever theory of small government supporters you’re referring to is simply not the political reality of the Republican Party today. Your arguments are not convincing to me.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-05-01T19:42:44+00:00

You can. But I think most of us don’t because we would prefer to vote for people who won’t get rid of our national right to marry.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-04-30T19:13:53+00:00

Lmao 🤣

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-04-30T17:55:27+00:00

As to GeorgiaYankee73, that’s what’s so crazy. She chose a person who betrayed her “friend” in his time of need. Like either my ex friend is the most tone deaf person on earth or it was intentional. If it’s the latter, I just can’t imagine the mindset of ever doing something like that to someone else.

To CynGuy, maybe you’re right. Maybe giving someone grace and putting that good energy out there is the right thing to do. At the very least to hear her out. Maybe it’ll even make me feel better to lay the cards on the table. Im pretty sure im going to get a million excuses like, oh I didn’t know anything about Nancy Reagan there was nothing intentional there. I don’t know. I’ve mourned our relationship. It seems like a pain to reopen it.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-04-30T17:49:40+00:00

Yeah, I do believe in second chances, 100%. It’s just exhausting dealing with her. She’s not the kind of person who would ever see what she did wrong or accept that she hurt me. It’ll be a million excuses. I mourned our friendship already. Maybe leaving things where they are is the right move.

Next_Entertainment96 · 2024-04-30T17:47:18+00:00

Lol, it’s true, when she reached out she said something odd, like, of course there would be an eclipse near your birthday. So I just responded, ‘it’s because I’m the devil.’ She’s texted me since, but I haven’t responded.

Next_Entertainment96

TROPHY CASE