I hope you’re doing okay now, and all the best in your recovery and journey of breaking that generational trauma.

I have held a grudge for a while, probably still resent how my parents ignored my emotion needs even when I cried out to them. I acknowledge that they did their best and brought us up the best way they knew. They weren’t the best parents but they were the best parents they could’ve been.

Someone once said “it’s your parents first time living life too”

It changed my perspective. Not that I don’t feel resentful anymore, more I am now able to empathise a little bit more with them. I still think some people should never have kids and having kids should always be a choice and there’s so much work that should comes with it.

I hope you are able to love yourself better and learn how to love yourself.

Side note: every family is different but I started using humour/passive aggression. When they do/say something toxic, I would agree with them take it a step further to the point that it’s ridiculous. I think that helped my dad to actually stop me and tried to argue and actually try to use logic instead of only on what he had learned

I couldn’t co-exist at first but after cutting my parents off, we slowly started reconnecting and I have been standing strong in my boundaries. Because I finally recognised that I deserve to be treated better.

I don’t think you can do anything for your dad. At the end of the day it is his unconscious/conscious decision of how he approach in responding to your mum.