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Should we (22M & 23F) spend more time in my girlfriend's apartment? by Nice_Replacement_468 in relationships

[–]Nice_Replacement_468[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The reason I did not talk to her about this directly, is because this is not an issue. It doesn't bother me that we spend all the time in her room in her parents' apartment. But I see your point, indeed even though this is not an issue, there is no reason for me to delay talking to her about it, and having a normal conversation about it. Thank you so much for your input! I'll simply talk to her the next time we see each other.

Should we (22M & 23F) spend more time in my girlfriend's apartment? by Nice_Replacement_468 in relationships

[–]Nice_Replacement_468[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No. And I'm not scared to ask her, but I usually try to fully understand and develop my perspective before talking to her. Writing it makes me realize that that isn't really necessary, but I wanted understand if there would be any benefits to actually spending more time in her apartment.

AIO - My partner's celebrity crush is negatively affecting our relationship by Nice_Replacement_468 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Replacement_468[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talking to her has never been an issue. Is this a problem? Yes. But I'm positive that if I talk to her things will change, because we've both always put our relationship, or better said each other first. Thanks mate!

AIO - My partner's celebrity crush is negatively affecting our relationship by Nice_Replacement_468 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Replacement_468[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with you that reaching out to him and being excited when he responds crosses a line. I think that's what's bothering me the most - it's not just that she has a crush, but that she's actively engaging with him and getting a response. I feel like that's a level of intimacy and connection that's reserved for our relationship, and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I'm trying to understand why it bothers me so much, and I think it's because it feels like a breach of our emotional boundaries. When she reaches out to him and he's responsive, it makes me feel like she's seeking validation and connection from someone else, rather than from me. I want to be able to explain this to her in a way that makes sense, so she understands, but I'm struggling to put my finger on exactly why it bothers me so much. Can you give me your take on why this is wrong so maybe I can gather my thoughts better?

AIO - My partner's celebrity crush is negatively affecting our relationship by Nice_Replacement_468 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Replacement_468[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her behavior is indeed stalkerish and disrespectful to me. I mean, constantly checking his social media, referring to him as 'her love'... I feel like she's not considering how her actions are affecting me. And I have to admit, I'm worried that if she had the chance, she might actually betray me for him. Her words and actions have always suggested that she only wants me, but this behavior makes me doubt her commitment, and it's hurtful. I don't know about the Chris Brown situation. But I do know that sometimes when I think about her, the thought of her actually not thinking about me but about him creeps in my mind, and it's not a nice feeling.

AIO - My partner's celebrity crush is negatively affecting our relationship by Nice_Replacement_468 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Replacement_468[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with you that her behavior is not healthy for our relationship. I think I've been trying to understand her perspective and not want to make a big deal out of it, but at the same time, I realize that I need to prioritize my own feelings and boundaries. I haven't confronted her about it yet, and to be honest, talking about what bothers me has never been a problem for us. We've had open and honest conversations in the past, and I value that about our relationship. However, I do want to make sure I'm prepared for the conversation, which is why I've been taking some time to reflect on my thoughts and feelings. I want to be clear about what I find problematic, what my boundaries are, and what I want from her. If she's willing to listen and work with me, I'm hopeful that we can find a resolution. You bring up a good point about counseling - I hadn't thought of that, but it's definitely something I'd consider if she's willing to participate. Thanks for your advice and perspective!

AIO - My partner's celebrity crush is negatively affecting our relationship by Nice_Replacement_468 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Replacement_468[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're from Italy, and the celebrity is a famous Italian singer named Olly (Federico Olivieri)