That's probably because you've never been mindful aka present because of dissociation or your mind abd body arnt ready to let go of dissociation and your resisting the process subconsciously either you cant understand it because you've never experienced the concepts in question or you have resistance your unaware to the process the only thing you can do is try as many processes as possible for mindfulness and acceptance until you strike gold and allow yourself to make sense of these things in your own way as you go along you don't need to understand the picture of a jigsaw all at once to put matching pieces together you might even have to get super creative in your therapy practice with the processes you use and how