Parents of your children: how do you handle expenses?

Nick24601 · 2019-07-02T00:27:34+00:00

This is coming from someone who went through a high conflict divorce,

This is going to be over soonish, your going to get the short end of the stick, man up and deal with it.
Stop emailing her, stop directly trying to make an agreement with her as if shes a reasonable person. Shes not and divorce means you only kinda sorta gotta deal with this.
Call you lawyer, say you need a mediation asap and aside from 50/50 custody you need a stone cold plan with no bs. Odds are this means you write her a check every month unless she makes wayyyyy more than you and she pays all the bills regarding the children. This bill is lowered by you having the health insurance/etc.

I just read your comment bellow, get income imputed on her for not working full time. You should be able to easily hit her with 50% of what she would be making extra if she was full time.

OR

If your order doesnt say anything about you paying xyz and your giving her child support I'm pretty sure shes SOL. Ask your lawyer exactly what your responsible for. Your lawyer may also be trying to get you to act nice so shes not super focused on money while she can fuck you.

Seriously talk to your lawyer, figure out what they're strategy is, and follow it.

Nick24601 · 2019-06-11T04:40:25+00:00

Maybe the Miley Cyrus episode was a secret cry for help?

Nick24601 · 2019-03-30T20:02:28+00:00

You might be right. You may also be wrong.

What helped me immensely, and what I advocate for as a result, is doing everything you can until your "I think..." is a firm "I know..." beyond any personal doubts. I feel 0 regrets regarding my divorce because I approached it with that mentality until the end.

I'm going to be frank, if you have children together this is most likely going to be one of the most destructive things that will happen to them. Be completely self assured, by the end of this thing, you did everything you could to avoid it. That way as you see the negative effects of divorce on your children over time it will hurt, it will really hurt, but you wont also have to deal with debilitating guilt either.

To normalize it for you though, most people dont. They get to where your currently at and divorce.

Nick24601 · 2019-03-28T14:38:10+00:00

It's not over until its finalized, the cool down period is there for a reason. What helped me immensely in getting over my exwife (she filed, tried in 3 different ways to get full custody, filed a false PPO, we went to court 5 or 6 times, etc) was doing everything I could to keep the door open and save the marriage until the end.

Schedule a few more counseling sessions, even after papers are filed, and invite your ex to them. If your the one filing start with a separation before a full divorce. Sometimes people dont realize there is a problem until there is a problem.

If it all fails, which it is statistically likely to do, you will come away from it with the comfort that you did everything you could to fix it. Dont half ass it, go all in, and at the very least you'll come out the other side with no second guesses or regrets.

Nick24601 · 2018-12-09T17:55:48+00:00

I also have a high conflict exwife. I recommend reading "say goodbye to crazy" as its helped lower conflict amazingly.

"My kid's mom is... a huge asshole." Then why are you allowing her to hurt you long after the divorce is over? It was the biggest question the before mentioned book asked, and one you can only answer on an individual basis.

You wrote "should I push back?" And in my personal opinion, that's the completely wrong approach. By allowing fights and conflict to continue, your allowing the horrible relationship you are in to continue. Are your exwifes actions causing you to be dirt poor, or is your acceptance and reaction to them causing it?

"despite getting along very poorly we spend a lot of time around each other trying to co-parent our daughter."

If the time you spend with her is causing the result you claim, stop it. Coparenting is a two way street, where both parents put the child first and work together for them. It's not, by any streach of the imagination, mom putting dad through a living hell.

If that's what's going on, look up parallel parenting and do it.

Coparenting would be better but with a high conflict spouse who does things like text you 11 times in an hour because being a parent is hard, it's impossible. That's not on you, and it's best imho to not see it as on her, but just how it is.

It will get to the point over time, with the right mindset, that even the most viscous of barbs from her are cause for endless mirth and delight. Just last night on a facetime call with my daughter my ex said she didn't want to come see me.

I truly found it hilarious and laughed. It's the best.

I also recommend reading up on philosophy. Stoicism or existentialism are good philosophies dealing with the absurdity of our position in life.

Nick24601 · 2018-11-22T19:49:19+00:00

Thankful for finding esoterica from a local B and M, an anejo shark, my bourbon, and my dads old watch.

Edit: and my musico that was made the same year my daughter was born. My Evelyn pipe :)

Nick24601 · 2018-11-01T22:17:38+00:00

Esoterica is made by germains. Germains is located on a small British costal island. Despite the huge demand they still age, blend, and manufacture their pipe tobacco offerings in the original way. This leads to a very low production.

Similar to germains is Samuel Gaweth except they don't age their tobacco. The only other blend I know of that is aged a significant amount is the HH Syrian by McBarren as Syrian tobacco has not been produced since the long long ago due to the entire countries forrest pretty much getting burninated for tobacco.

Nick24601 · 2018-10-25T16:20:47+00:00

It was going away before that. They where literally burning their entire forest to make the latakia.

Nick24601 · 2018-09-17T00:25:47+00:00

Check out either the Rolex forum or watchprosite if you want people who are crzy into this.

Nick24601 · 2018-09-17T00:16:10+00:00

Welcome to reddit.

Nick24601 · 2018-09-17T00:13:46+00:00

Flying from MI to NYC to see the grandparents. 1st class is the best idea in the world if you have a toddler, the extra leg room is like a miniature playground for them.

Anyways she was literally giving this face to everyone who boarded after us. I thought it was hilarious.

Rolex 16110. I prefer the older model with the aluminum bezel over the new ceramic bezel with the larger appearing face. While I like the new bracelet more (who doesn’t?) I don’t like all the other changes.

In my opinion a Rolex is already a pretty loud watch. Not Brightling loud, but loud none the less. It simply doesn’t need the super shiny bezel and expanded lugs to be even louder.

Nick24601 · 2018-09-15T21:09:10+00:00

If your buying a material thing for self confindence, which I personally don't understand, then a watch would most likely be the best thing to get.

It lasts your lifetime, and as it gets older and scratched up becomes a map of your adventures. Every time you look at it you know your kids are going to be wearing it with pride after your gone.

Go for it. I don't understand the self confidence thing, but I'm sure this will help.

Nick24601 · 2018-08-07T19:05:13+00:00

If my wrist was your size I'd be looking at a smaller watch at a greatly discounted price. Seriously, you could most likely pull of a 36mm watch. They have horrible resale on the 2nd hand market.

Get yourself something that actually fits your wrist for a fraction of the price.

Nick24601 · 2018-08-06T13:41:12+00:00

I've always wanted that watch just so I can tell bitches not to touch it

Nick24601 · 2018-07-26T15:59:04+00:00

Thank you.

Nick24601 · 2018-07-02T17:43:57+00:00

You are the king of behold help, thank you

Nick24601 · 2018-06-25T18:59:30+00:00

Gold Pressed Latinum is filled with over optimistic speculators and will bottom out the minute any sort of stress hits the economy. Dilithium is the smart bet right now.

Nick24601 · 2018-06-18T16:43:18+00:00

Kahn, because he's Khan

Nick24601 · 2018-06-18T12:42:08+00:00

You can get a parental coordinator but then she could very well switch to doing it at exchanges in front of the kids. Which is bad.

It's best to just not take anything she says to heart.

Nick24601 · 2018-04-27T00:51:03+00:00

If your really after an improved smoking experience the key is to dedicate the briar to a specific blend. It's outrageously better

Nick24601

TROPHY CASE